My husband has joint custody (not physical) of his 12yr old son "T" and has always been a very loving, involved, responsible parent. He currently has the std every other weekend plus alternate holiday visitation. We have a very sensitive relationship with his exwife, who does all she can to restrict additional parenting time, but spends no time with "T" when she has him.
We are now in a position where our schedules allow us to spend much more time with him and are filing a motion to increase parenting time this week. We are asking to have him 50% of the time, not only because we love him and want to spend more time with him, but also because we have many concerns about his current care. We realize we may not get 50% (although I can't imagine why not as we have no negative issues that could be raised about us) .
We are planning to keep the information requesting additional parenting time (and modification of support accordingly) very vague, as the exwife will already be hopping mad at the motion, but have very specific concerns to present at the motion. We've never filed any motion before, so any advice you can give us based on our situation would be greatly appreciated.
We currently pay a specific amount for general support for "T" and another $200 per month for "daycare" although he is 12 yrs old and will be in 7th grade in the Fall. His mother hasn't worked a traditional job in 6 yrs, instead, does cleaning jobs, painting, and crafts on her own. "T" is frequently brought along to these cleaning jobs and put to work.
Here's the list of requests and concerns we have that we will bring up at the motion:
_________________________
Request 1 = We would like Right of First Refusal for any/all daycare needs "T" may have, with Daycare Support adjusted accordingly
Request 2 = We would like to have "T" 50% of the time. We live 5 miles away from his house, and no school/friend issues would be affected. Proposed agreement would be every other week custody.
__________________________
CONCERNS
Obviously, we love him and want to spend more time with him. We've requested an additional weekday to his mother, as well as requests for special family outings, and have always been denied.
NOTE- EVERY weekend that we do not have "T" and most every day in the Summer, "T" is sent to his maternal grandparents house, and spends virtually no time at his own home.
1. We are never consulted on any issues affecting "T's" health and well being. We find out far after the fact about injuries, illnesses, etc. And we know that despite the fact that we've always had full medical/dental coverage for him, his mother rarely takes him to the Dr as she doesn't want to pay the copay. He has terrible allergies and she won't take him in, and when she does, she gets samples only and he brings outdated samples with him on our weekends. We recently found that he has never been to the dentist before. We took him in. He also never gets a physical.
2. "T" continues to do very poorly in school. We all attend his conferences regularly, and he still gets many Ds and Fs. At the beginning of the yr, he was tested at the 3rd and 4th grade reading comprehension level and was sent to a special class. At a recent year end PT conference, we were told he did not engage, and still reads at the 3rd gd level. He will be in 7th grade this Fall. His mother has been made aware of this frequently and still, his grades decline, and he gets no help or encouragement with school work at his house.
3. "T" is not only allowed to, but encouraged to ride 100cc-230cc motorcycles by himself (he just turned 12) and with his same-aged friends, for hours unsupervised, including daredevil stunts up and down steep hills and jumps. His mother's live-in bf teases him that his 100cc bike is "a sissy bike" and wants to get him a 200+cc. In MI., any vehicle over 50cc is a motorcycle, and you must be 15 with a permit AND accompanied by a licensed adult to legally ride until age 16. This is a daily, primary activity for him, to ride alone or with a friend in the woods. We are very concerned for his safety. He recently got into a bad accident, and showed us pictures (proudly!?) that he took with his camera phone that we got him just for this reason (safety). He crashed his bike, had huge bruises on his neck and arm and was never taken in for any medical attention. We were not told about this until he showed/told us later that week.
4. "T" is literally raising himself. After school, he goes out with friends and on weekends/all vacations is sent to his elderly grandparents who are very kind to him, but cannot supervise him due to health issues. He's just "let loose" until nightfall. He is receiving no parental guidance or teachings in values, responsibilities, and no assistance with school/learning. We only have him 4 days a month, which is not enough time to impact his education and instill core values. He receives little to no medical attention, and is at risk physically from being allowed to ride motorcycles illegally.
Any input would be great. We're getting all his school records, medical records, have the pictures of his recent injuries that we were not even told about, and have the MI. legal statutes regarding the illegality of him riding motorcycles. We KNOW his mother and BF are aware that this is illegal (not to mention unsafe) as they both ride cycles as a lifestyle.
Thanks so much.
MICHIGAN DAD (his wife)
We are now in a position where our schedules allow us to spend much more time with him and are filing a motion to increase parenting time this week. We are asking to have him 50% of the time, not only because we love him and want to spend more time with him, but also because we have many concerns about his current care. We realize we may not get 50% (although I can't imagine why not as we have no negative issues that could be raised about us) .
We are planning to keep the information requesting additional parenting time (and modification of support accordingly) very vague, as the exwife will already be hopping mad at the motion, but have very specific concerns to present at the motion. We've never filed any motion before, so any advice you can give us based on our situation would be greatly appreciated.
We currently pay a specific amount for general support for "T" and another $200 per month for "daycare" although he is 12 yrs old and will be in 7th grade in the Fall. His mother hasn't worked a traditional job in 6 yrs, instead, does cleaning jobs, painting, and crafts on her own. "T" is frequently brought along to these cleaning jobs and put to work.
Here's the list of requests and concerns we have that we will bring up at the motion:
_________________________
Request 1 = We would like Right of First Refusal for any/all daycare needs "T" may have, with Daycare Support adjusted accordingly
Request 2 = We would like to have "T" 50% of the time. We live 5 miles away from his house, and no school/friend issues would be affected. Proposed agreement would be every other week custody.
__________________________
CONCERNS
Obviously, we love him and want to spend more time with him. We've requested an additional weekday to his mother, as well as requests for special family outings, and have always been denied.
NOTE- EVERY weekend that we do not have "T" and most every day in the Summer, "T" is sent to his maternal grandparents house, and spends virtually no time at his own home.
1. We are never consulted on any issues affecting "T's" health and well being. We find out far after the fact about injuries, illnesses, etc. And we know that despite the fact that we've always had full medical/dental coverage for him, his mother rarely takes him to the Dr as she doesn't want to pay the copay. He has terrible allergies and she won't take him in, and when she does, she gets samples only and he brings outdated samples with him on our weekends. We recently found that he has never been to the dentist before. We took him in. He also never gets a physical.
2. "T" continues to do very poorly in school. We all attend his conferences regularly, and he still gets many Ds and Fs. At the beginning of the yr, he was tested at the 3rd and 4th grade reading comprehension level and was sent to a special class. At a recent year end PT conference, we were told he did not engage, and still reads at the 3rd gd level. He will be in 7th grade this Fall. His mother has been made aware of this frequently and still, his grades decline, and he gets no help or encouragement with school work at his house.
3. "T" is not only allowed to, but encouraged to ride 100cc-230cc motorcycles by himself (he just turned 12) and with his same-aged friends, for hours unsupervised, including daredevil stunts up and down steep hills and jumps. His mother's live-in bf teases him that his 100cc bike is "a sissy bike" and wants to get him a 200+cc. In MI., any vehicle over 50cc is a motorcycle, and you must be 15 with a permit AND accompanied by a licensed adult to legally ride until age 16. This is a daily, primary activity for him, to ride alone or with a friend in the woods. We are very concerned for his safety. He recently got into a bad accident, and showed us pictures (proudly!?) that he took with his camera phone that we got him just for this reason (safety). He crashed his bike, had huge bruises on his neck and arm and was never taken in for any medical attention. We were not told about this until he showed/told us later that week.
4. "T" is literally raising himself. After school, he goes out with friends and on weekends/all vacations is sent to his elderly grandparents who are very kind to him, but cannot supervise him due to health issues. He's just "let loose" until nightfall. He is receiving no parental guidance or teachings in values, responsibilities, and no assistance with school/learning. We only have him 4 days a month, which is not enough time to impact his education and instill core values. He receives little to no medical attention, and is at risk physically from being allowed to ride motorcycles illegally.
Any input would be great. We're getting all his school records, medical records, have the pictures of his recent injuries that we were not even told about, and have the MI. legal statutes regarding the illegality of him riding motorcycles. We KNOW his mother and BF are aware that this is illegal (not to mention unsafe) as they both ride cycles as a lifestyle.
Thanks so much.
MICHIGAN DAD (his wife)