Hi, I am new here but not to the custody battle arena. I have been divorced from my X for 8 yrs now. We didn't have custody arrangements in our divorce because his parents had temporary guardianship due to our relationship being very timultuous (sp?) and him having a mistress and daughter the last two years of our marriage. I had the guardianship terminated but my atty did not file a temp. custody order and since there was no order in my divorce, whoever had physical custody of the kids when the guardianship was terminated got custody of the kids. I did not know this, my atty did not tell me and my X got custody.
I have been fighting ever since for custody of my kids. My X has since married his mistress and had another child. I am engaged but have been with the same man for about 7 yrs. In May of 2000, my X's wife tied my then 5 yr old daughter up with a phone cord because she walked into the living room and found her with her hands down her pants. I took them to court, didn't get my kids. A year later, my X beat my daughter severely because she is terrified of the dark and he took her nightlight out of her room, she threw a fit and he beat her. I took them to court, BUT I only got custody of my daughter, not my son.
When they did a home study on both families, my X set it up like "Father Knows Best", the whole family was playing games and his parents were even there when the case worker came. I let the case worker see what real life is all about and wasn't about to set it up like the X did. They found that neither one of us were better parents, neither house was better.
Every time I go to court the judge asks me "Are you married yet?" and I answer no. I am not perfect, but then again, no one is. My X beat me and emotionally and verbally abused me constantly when we were together. My X and his wife degrade me, my oldest daughter and the rest of my family in front of my children all the time. The good thing about my situation is that my daughter is out. My son, on the other hand, has to face his father and stepmother every day. My X has told me personally that he holds my 13 yr old son down to spank him and when I told my X that both of my kids are terrified of him he said "good they should be". His wife's favorite mode of punishment is to slap my son across the face and their two children have seen this enough that they also do this to both of my children (I know this because she has told me about incidents where she has slapped my son).
For the life of me, I cannot understand what is so wrong with me that the judge in our case thinks that living in these conditions would be better for my children than living with me. There are only two things that I can think of that could remotely be against me and that is that I am not married to my fiance yet and that I am disabled. I am not disabled to where I am in a wheelchair or have to walk with a cane or such, I have ruptured two disks in my back and have a lot of nerve damage, etc due to this. Still, I cannot understand why this judge is so biased against me. I have NEVER done anything to either one of my children and my daughter is growing up to be a well rounded and articulate young lady.
I know that there are a lot of good fathers out there that deserve custody of their kids. My fiance has custody of his son, so I know both sides of the coin. This is not one of those cases, trust me!! But what am I missing here? I live in KS by the way and my X now lives in TN so I have that to contend with now. My son is begging me to go to court and fight for him to live with me, he says he hates his father and can't stand to be there another day...
Any advice or help in any way, shape or form would be appreciated!
kansasmom_1
I have been fighting ever since for custody of my kids. My X has since married his mistress and had another child. I am engaged but have been with the same man for about 7 yrs. In May of 2000, my X's wife tied my then 5 yr old daughter up with a phone cord because she walked into the living room and found her with her hands down her pants. I took them to court, didn't get my kids. A year later, my X beat my daughter severely because she is terrified of the dark and he took her nightlight out of her room, she threw a fit and he beat her. I took them to court, BUT I only got custody of my daughter, not my son.
When they did a home study on both families, my X set it up like "Father Knows Best", the whole family was playing games and his parents were even there when the case worker came. I let the case worker see what real life is all about and wasn't about to set it up like the X did. They found that neither one of us were better parents, neither house was better.
Every time I go to court the judge asks me "Are you married yet?" and I answer no. I am not perfect, but then again, no one is. My X beat me and emotionally and verbally abused me constantly when we were together. My X and his wife degrade me, my oldest daughter and the rest of my family in front of my children all the time. The good thing about my situation is that my daughter is out. My son, on the other hand, has to face his father and stepmother every day. My X has told me personally that he holds my 13 yr old son down to spank him and when I told my X that both of my kids are terrified of him he said "good they should be". His wife's favorite mode of punishment is to slap my son across the face and their two children have seen this enough that they also do this to both of my children (I know this because she has told me about incidents where she has slapped my son).
For the life of me, I cannot understand what is so wrong with me that the judge in our case thinks that living in these conditions would be better for my children than living with me. There are only two things that I can think of that could remotely be against me and that is that I am not married to my fiance yet and that I am disabled. I am not disabled to where I am in a wheelchair or have to walk with a cane or such, I have ruptured two disks in my back and have a lot of nerve damage, etc due to this. Still, I cannot understand why this judge is so biased against me. I have NEVER done anything to either one of my children and my daughter is growing up to be a well rounded and articulate young lady.
I know that there are a lot of good fathers out there that deserve custody of their kids. My fiance has custody of his son, so I know both sides of the coin. This is not one of those cases, trust me!! But what am I missing here? I live in KS by the way and my X now lives in TN so I have that to contend with now. My son is begging me to go to court and fight for him to live with me, he says he hates his father and can't stand to be there another day...
Any advice or help in any way, shape or form would be appreciated!
kansasmom_1