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Topics - Bigdaddyoffive

#1
Custody Issues / I don't know what to do
Mar 19, 2007, 01:04:13 AM
  My girlfriend and I have been together for about nine years.  We have three children together and we each have a 10yr old boy from a previous marriage.  She has battles alcoholism for quite some time now and refuses to seek help.  Approx seven years ago she was arrested for domestic assult.  It was an embarassing experience but she kept bitting/hitting/kicking me and there is no way I would ever hit a woman so calling 911 seemed like the only solution.  Anyway, after a great trip to see my sister out of town with two of my boys I arrived home to find her and her sister drunk.  I wasn't happy with the situation but I kept my cool.  Her and her sister wanted me to go out to the bar with them but I declined.  I fell asleep and awoke to loud talking in the livingroom.  I tried to go back to sleep but after about thirty minutes I had to do something.  I walked out into the livingroom to find my girlfriend's sister sitting with a guy and my girlfriend lying on the couch with her head in a guys lap and her legs over another guys lap.  Her shirt was up, her belt undone and one guy had his hands between her legs.  Although it is no longer my profession I used to be a residential mental health specialist and family support worker.  As much as I would have liked to lose my temper I simply told everyone to leave immediately.  The three guys and her sister left at once.  After they left my girlfriend started screaming at me and cursing.  The alcohol on her breath made me want to vomit.  I told her she needed to find another place to stay tonight.  She then bit me and began hitting/kicking me.  I stepped back and told her to go outside and have a cigarette and cool off.  When she did I locked the door behind her.  She of course freaked out and busted the door.  Three of our boys came running out of their room (ages 10, 5 and 2) to see what was going on.  The ten year old is her son from a previous relationship and discusses her alcohol problem with me quite openly and honestly.  He knew she was drunk and told me to call the police.  I instead asked them to go to their room and told them I would be in in a minute.  She screamed, hit, kicked and bit me some more before passing out on the couch.  Now don't get me wrong, I am not an "abused" person.  I am 6ft5 268lbs and she is 4ft 11 and about 105lbs.  I feel more pain when I stub my toe.   I then went into the boy's bedroom and dried multiple tears and did my best to reassure them that everything would be okay.  They are now asleep and she is still passed out on the couch.  I have had enough.  I live in a very small town in Nebraska.  I work full time and she stays at home with the kids.  I just bought my first house last fall and I was hoping we could all live here as a family.  Now I just want the kids and I to be happy.  I don't know what to do.  It is way to small of a community to get the sheriffs dept involved.  I have no money for a lawyer.  Most months I'm lucky just to affort the house payment and utilities.  I cannot contact health and human services.  The reason being is that is who I worked for when I did family support work and I know the caseworkers personally and I have never seen a more worthless group of individuals in my life.  Which, incedently is why I left the job.  What do I do in the morning?  I know she'll try to take the kids.  How do I stop her?  I can't do it physically, I'd squash her and then I would be the one going to jail.  It's 3:00 in the morning and the path of my children's lives may very well depend on what I do in the morning.  I want them to be happy.  I want to make the right choices for them.  I want to be a good dad.