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Messages - worriedinmd

#11
Custody Issues / modifying custody arrangements
Sep 28, 2009, 04:49:56 PM
I am currently in a situation where I have 50/50 custody with no child support. I feel like the arrangement is working well but it's been only 6 months since the court order and my ex already is trying to get me to change things informally by changing pickup and drop off places, trying to get him a couple of hours early, etc etc. She is threatening to take me back to court if I don't agree to change things. Am I better off trying to appease her and change things for her or should I just stand my ground now, knowing that she will try to take more and more by threatening to take me back to court. Are judges usually willing to change things all around even though we just agreed to everything just 6 months ago or will they leave things the way they are now. Any input would be greatly appreciated.
#12
Custody Issues / Re: father fighting for custody
Sep 27, 2009, 04:32:28 PM
ok, so it hasn't even been six months since the court order and here I am back again. Already since the court order she has moved again, this time further away. She is complaining that now picking him up at school isn't in the middle and she is inconvenienced by this. On one Sunday a month she wants me to drive him to her which is about an hour away and not the scheduled meeting place in the court order. When I said I would have to think about it she immediately started ranting about how is I couldn't compromise and to this one day a week then I guess we will have to go back to court. I'm wondering what I should do. On the one hand it's not that big of a deal for me to drive him there once a month, but on the other hand if I agree to do this will I be opening up a can of worms on schedule changes which will eventually make the court order meaningless? Also if she just keeps threatening to go back to court every time theres a problem will she actually have a case when it comes to getting things changed or will the court see her as a nuisance?  I'm just wondering what I should do, I want to be reasonable but I don't want to keep getting pushed around. If I agree only verbally to make this drive once a month and she gets nasty later, will the written court order win out or will I be binded to the verbal agreement? I currently have my son 50% of the nights but I get more time with him because she only has him one sunday a month and what amounts to 3 nights a week after school. I also am not paying support which is a good thing. I just don't want to make things on myself but I don't want to open myself up to having to cave to her every whim. Any help on the situation would be appreciated.
#13
Child Support Issues / joint bank accounts
Apr 25, 2009, 04:49:27 PM
I am divorced with a child and I am about to remarry. If my new wife and I have a joint bank account and two incomes, can my ex use that to try to up the child support that I owe?
#14
Custody Issues / Re: father fighting for custody
Apr 05, 2009, 11:15:37 AM
Final update and hopefully I won't need to use this site anymore. lol

We settled 3 days before trial. I gave in and agreed to let her get to 50-50 overnights. In return my child is attending the school where I teach, and I have him thursday after school thru sunday at 6 pm and every other wednesday night. I was also having trouble with her income and I don't know if I could have proved it ,but at the settlement conference we pulled her bank statements where she was depositing 2000 a month but her paychecks only totaled 1300. So she was definitely making more tips than she let on. After realizing she was going to have to go to court to fight it she gave up on the support issue. I want to thank everyone on here for all your advice. If it wasn't for the tips of what to research and how to organize, I wouldn't have had nearly as good of a case to intimidate with at settlement. Thanks again to everyone.
#15
Custody Issues / Re: father fighting for custody
Feb 04, 2009, 03:25:54 PM
In maryland the mediator can't communicate with the judge. they just send a form to the courts saying that you attended. Child support and Custody is all one hearing
#16
Child Support Issues / Re: proving income
Feb 01, 2009, 12:37:35 PM
I'm in md. As of right now I have the child 4 nights a week and based on the current numbers it looks like I'm going to owe a little over 100 dollars a month, but that's only because she only claims half of her tips. In maryland it's definitely based on both people's income. I just think it's not fair that she can choose to only work 30 hours a week and I just have to pay more to make up the difference when I'm the one who is also providing more support for the child. I just wish there was some way to prove the tips.
#17
Child Support Issues / proving income
Feb 01, 2009, 06:05:12 AM
My ex is a hair stylist and is really lowballing her income. Does anyone know how to go about proving that she isn't claiming hardly any of her tips. She has actually told me how much she makes and I documented it but I'm sure this will not hold up in court. Also she only works 30 hours a week so will the judge figure support based on her 30 hour week or will they base it on a 40 hour week. If anyone has any idea on how to prove this please let me know.
#18
Custody Issues / Re: father fighting for custody
Jan 29, 2009, 02:00:40 PM
Does anybody know how I could get relevant crime statistics for a particular neighborhood without going through the police department....I haven't had any luck online. I also wonder if anyone knows of any methods to go about proving someone is lowballing their income if their primary income is tips. I know my ex is only working part time as a nail tech/stylist but I dont' know how to go about proving her income is a joke. She even told me what she actually makes. If anyone can help please, please reply to this post
#19
Custody Issues / Re: father fighting for custody
Jan 25, 2009, 07:40:37 AM
Update.....It's 3 months later, my lawyer says the master hearing my case is pretty even handed with men and women so that shouldn't be to my disadvantage. I have been building my case since the beginning but it seems as if here lately she is staying one step ahead. I found out she lied on her discovery and was living with her b/f. I got proof and the day before I got the records in the mail from my lawyer there was a letter from hers saying that she changed her answers to interrogatories to include him? How does she keep finding stuff out just ahead of time? I hope i'm not walking into an ambush
#20
Custody Issues / Re: father fighting for custody
Nov 13, 2008, 07:27:34 PM
Well, we had our mediation and she wouldn't budge. I tried giving a little on stuff like holidays and things that are insignificant to me but she wouldn't budge on the custody or the school issue. Do you guys think that I"m going to be at a big disadvantage because I'm a male? Or since I've had him more right from the beginning will that help me out?