Messages

As NCP I was paying her $175/week when my boy was 1 year old (and spent 60% of time with me)....as CP, I of course get $100/week when he is just about to  turn 10(and she makes twice what I made back then).  Can you say gender-bias?!

I know you don't get along with gr8dad, but why are your posts so full of utter contempt?

I've spoken to my 10 year old already about this, but was looking for anything else I should add.....At my mother-in-laws house he went on the computer to play games....but when they checked later he had gone onto porn sites (boob.com, penis.com, vagina.com, etc)  Curiosity stuff I'm sure but one was EXTREMELY graphic (oral sex), another included some gay men together (not in the act but pretty darn close).  I told him I wasn't angry, but didn't want it to happen again, that if he has questions/curiosity that he should talk to me.  He said he felt embarassed.....do you think I should tell school (to warn other parents)? Or just keep it at that and hope it doesn't happen again?

IMHO...I don't think you should tell him anything....yet.  If you can get it changed then get into it.  Why it happened, how much you love him.  But I think 10 is awfully young to be put in the middle of it.  If you tell him, then you are only solidifying the fact that you and ex don't get along and he is smack dab in the middle.  If you lose in court...he is none the wiser (if ex tells him about it, it only makes her look bad when he is older)......I never told my son anything..just that I loved him.  Pbfh told him much more than he needed to know...stuff that is way too inappropriate for a young boy.  I'm hoping when he gets older he will realize that I NEVER put him in the middle of it.  Good luck with your plight.  My prayers will be with you and your son.

 
>If this board were called "Mother's Issues" those mothers with
>custody, those step mothers with custody and step mothers
>who's spouses do not have custody would all post on the
>"Mothers Issue" board because they all identify themselves as
>"Mothers".
 
So, are you implying that women should not post on the "fathers issues
" board simply because they are not fathers?

> but he is judging every non-custodial
>mother by his experience with his ex, (as guess who is now a
>non-custodial parent in his world).

I never got that he was judging ANYONE.  But I what I did see was that you disagreed with him ..then attacked HIM!.  I understand his opinion, as I understand yours.  I think the difficulty with it for him (and me), is that father's have been the second class citizens in court, in custody, as parents.  That is oppression.  We are in the minority and fighting an uphill battle.  Then consider that most(not all) of the mothers that do lose custody do have something wrong with them (as people or as parents).  So, the number of mothers without custody is a very small portion of society.  
Like I said, There is some difficulty with that for me, but I'm not totally against it.  I know what it felt like before I got custody, so I can empathize with the feelings.
>
>After being enlightened by many regulars on this board, I am
>going to consider the source and ignore his attacks.

I still see it as you attacking him.  Just because you don't like his opinion is no reason to go after him.  
>
>I need this place to come for support and I have nothing to do
>with anything or any experience this guy has had. I won't be
>held accountable and explain things to someone that cannot and
>will not see past their own troubles.

I never saw him ask for any accountability on your part.  I saw him disagree with the separate board.  As for someone with their own troubles......I see them from you...not him.

 I am fairly sure that he can be located by the court
>and ordered to appear. >
>

If you believe this....then why drag the man's other son into this?  Totally unfair to this kid...totally.  Why not..."Have your father contact me...it's kind of an emergency".....???

eom

So, are you also claiming?...You should if that what court order states...

....I just can't understand what she's thinking.  My boy is in the school play tomorrow (he has the lead).  However, if school gets cancelled because of snow the play will be Thursday instead of Wednesday.  Well, PBFH claims that if it is Thursday she can't make it because she is going away with new boyfriend. (Weekend trip within state).  Now boy is all sad about possibility of school getting cancelled.  Over the years there have been a total of 15 plays/assemblies/science fairs....and mom (lives 90 miles away by her choice)has shown up for how many? TWO...sometimes I'd just like to say to him "Mom has more important things to do with her life than to see you sing three solos and star in this musical".  I'm always left to pick up the pieces of her selfishness and guilt trips....sorry just had to vent.