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I sure can explain that to you, I was too really confused when my trial came by.

few things to understand: judges and lawyers make money on your (and ex) back. Basicaly the judge ask your lawyer to be his secretary (and bill you for it) and write it up so he can review it.

There is one advantage to this is that you can write what you want in it (your attorney for you). Judges know that they won't be able to talk about everything but your attorney know all the issues to put in it.

The way a trial works is that it is a time to ear on record testimonies and other BS. The judge can then "rule from the banch" they rarely do. So if they don't then they go into deliberating and come up with an order. Often because they are leasy and also if the issues of the divorce aren't really contested they ask the attorneys to do the work for them.

After your ex lawyer review it and argees (or send it back to your lawyer to get changed) (note the 2 lawyers make money doing that) the judge (or the ref) has then 90 days to put his signature on it or change it. 99% of the time though he will sign it since you already agreed.

Then after that you can appeal this all BS for 30 days (ex too)

that's about it.
Let me know if you want more details. The thing you and your ex need to understand is that since you agreed you did cut the cost of lawyers big time. And these greedy bastards want you (and ex) money. So don't hesitate to tell him to give the proposed order to you. Go see your ex. have a coffe, butt head on it, ... (without lawyers) make the changes yourself to agree with ex since you asked your lawyer for the proposed order on a disk. (let him write the draft though, plenty of technical terms). Once you agreed with ex, give it back to lawyers updated and ask them to sign.

Remember, he (and your ex attorney) drive a Mercedes because you pay them :)

Hope this all help

PS: sorry for the bastard lawyers, there are some nice ones out there not just bastards. Mine was a really nice guy.
PS2: also consider that if you are still married jan 1st 2005 then you have a different status than if you get the order before december 31st

how did it go ?

Ok, beginning of this week I had a discussion with my ex-wife and I wanted to switch to share custody of our 3 year old child and stop child support.

I wasn't waiting much out of it how ever she had for argument that she wanted child support, blbalblallblal that all I wanted was to get off of child support (wait for the end to see who is the greedy one here) ballballballba and that the issue really to her was child support.

So I took her up on her world and told her: fine, let's forget Child support for now: can I see our kid more.
Answer was "what would you like? " and I said, well we can do everyother weeks.

My biggest surprise was when she said yes as long as I keep paying the Child Support (greed greed greed). so we are on a "switching to shared scheduele) the week-ends get longer till we are at 1 week each.

Here is the thing. She won't put ANYTHING on paper. NONE.

Here is my question:
How can I make it official or at least "verified" by someone that we are doing shared custody? I definetely intend to take this matter to court to get CS changed but my priority is to see my child more so I don't want her to "back fire at me" and take away the shared custody so I want to be more than 600% prepared with proofs once I take this issue to court.

What are your advises ?

what's the MN statute that let you bring emails as proof ?

thanks much for the answers everyone

I know this isn't a divorce matter but I am in minnesota and I have one of my client (I do freelance) that refuses to pay my invoices, how can I take that to court or mediation or, ... ????

I know that my son and my ex are on medicaid from the state, cheap (free insurance) from the state. Does that count as public assistance?

If our son doesn't get anymore medical thru her, does that mean that then the CS agency isn't a party anymore or how do you get them out of being a party?

How on earth can you get them to sign on your custody issues.
I have a hard time understanding that the CS enforcement office is a 3rd party.

can you explain?
Also how do you present that to them ?

hi,
following my other post, my ex and I are thinking of shared custody, ....
Few questions:

Can we write our own order and present it to the judge? if so, what is the motion to file.
Anyone has a sample?
what are the things to think of ?

Also I am ordered to pay CS thru the state CS enforcment agency. I know they are a pain to deal with and even with a court order they want "precise" wordings to tell them to stop the witholding, anyone know what these wordings are ?

Thanks

Hi,
My ex and I are finaly getting to sense, anyway, shared custody 50/50 might be a reality so here is my question:

what's the best supposed 50/50 shared custody for a 3 year old?
1 week each, 1 month each, 6 month, ..... ????

Thanks