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"4. It was a fighting battle getting my son on Mother's Day,
but I did have him and I did pay for it. He originally refused
because he wanted to honor that day for his new wife...
ridiculous I know."

You might want to remind your ex that stepmothers day is the Sunday after Mother's day. This was done to accommadate the fact that stepmom's care about stepkids. (not saying all do, but I am a SM and I care, however I would never keep SD from bm on Mother's day)

I have a step daughter who is in 7th grade. All her years in school consisted of either my husband or me getting the homework on the friday of our EOW and than spending it doing homework with her. Her mother refused to do the homework with her or even make sure that she had brought it home. The first part of this school year was a nightmare and she was on the verge of failing. Her mothers response to all this was "oh well, she will have to repeat 7th grade" and than laughed. Well that was the last straw, I encouraged my husband that we needed to do something and it had to be done now.

Well, she is now here at our house and every night we check her assignment notebook and if the teachers do not write done, she is to bring it home. If she does not we take her back to school and go to her locker with her to get it. (now this may sound extreme, but if a child does not have a parent willing to show them things, someone has to).

Since she has been here full time, she has had many trips back to school, but only the first few weeks. Her grades are A's & B's. She is now going and doing things with adolescents her own age. (All she did before was things with mom outside of school). She talks to friends on the phone and has finally seen that her Dad and I are 'pretty cool'.  

No, she does not like having someone here every night when she comes home, but I do not believe in latch key children (as I was one). We at first did not understand this, but after listening to her daily, we now understand that her mother was rarely home and the SD made her own rules and meals . She now gets to be a kid and no longer has all the responsibility on her shoulders.

This same girl is now curling her hair (wasn't allowed by mom's as mom did not believe in a curling iron). The SD is also starting to realize what the effects are of being a clean person (taking baths nightly, wearing clean clothes).

The change in this girl is 100%. Yes, I know there will be problems, but if you can help a SC be a better person, go for it, it is worth it. Yes, there is problems with the now NCP (mom), but hey isn't there always? To make a difference, even a small one or a short lived one, is just awsome as any of the teens in my home will say (I have 3, two are my own and one SD, but I consider them all my husbands and mine)

As for it being temporary, maybe after the biomom has not had her son around and sees the change in him while he is with you, maybe she will let him stay. You need to really make sure that you are prepared though for the bucking you will get from him. Remind him of the rules and stick to them at least for awhile until he proves that he can get the grades.

I really hope things work out for you