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I think the only thing that can be done is to go back to court and charge her with contempt.  Not having a phone is a danger to the child...what if you needed to call 911 for a medical emergency?  You would probably be able to get the court to order her to maintain a phone and give you the #.  

You can try asking the child if they have a phone.  The child may know the phone #.  Also, if your child is in school/daycare, you can have all the records sent to you.  Tell them to send you the student record that lists the child's current information.  She should keep the child's school informed of the phone #.

Good Luck.  


longship
SM to 2 boys
BM to my little guy
DH - my wonderful husband

I'm sorry, I don't know about that.  I would think that as long as the CP agreed,  you could write up an agreement through the court and it would work.  You probably would need minimal lawyer help...just to file the agreed entry.

hope you get it worked out!

Hi,

I know the rules on this one.  If she has custody, she gets to claim them unless it's in your court order that you get to claim them or she signs a certain tax form that allows you to claim them.  I know, it sucks and it's not fair, but those are the rules.  We have it in our court order that we claim the kids.  BM doesn't work and hasn't for a while, so we got to claim them.  She tries every once in a while to get them again, but she still doesn't have a job, so she doesn't pay taxes (although it would be nice for her husband if she could claim them).

I would suggest start paying just your child support and anything court ordered.  Anything extra, let BM pay for.  It may sound mean, but it's a way to make it a little more fair.  

longship
SM to 2 boys
BM to my little guy
DH - my wonderful husband

Hi everyone!

I've noticed that this board has picked up a bit lately.  If you are reading this, why not post a quick introduction and we can get to know each other a bit!

I'll start.

I'm a SM to my husband's 2 boys, ages 11 and 7.  DH and I have an almost 1 year old son together.  We have the SKids everyother weekend and 4 weeks in the summer.  We live in Montgomery county, but our CO is through Greene county (Dayton area).  SKids live about an hour and a half away and DH and his ex meet at a halfway point for exchange.  We have problems galore with BM, but no time right now to post about them all!


longship
SM to 2 boys
BM to my little guy
DH - my wonderful husband

What I would do is take her to the doctor if she has a fever and can't keep food down.  If BM has a problem with it, then she can take you to court for contempt.  I'm sure the judge will just laugh at her.

What does your attorney say?  Personally, I wouldn't opt out.  If you moved because you couldn't afford to live where you were, then that's a legitimate reason.  You can argue that it was in the best interest of the child that you moved so that you could make your CS payments and be able to maintain a household of your own as well.  That's just my opinion.

Good luck!

I think the answer is that if it's urgent care, you can take her, but for non-urgent care, you need her permission.  Is that what you found out?

Bring the fact that the school or the BM aren't giving you the information you request and ask the judge to order the school to give you (or your DH) any information you request.  Bring up those things about her smelling and the other things you mentioned...it might cost you more $$ though.  You may have to get the child a GAL.  It might wake the BM up and make her take better care of her child.  You might also mention that you take the child quite often and ask that your child support reflect that.  I didn't think you sounded ungrateful...just frustrated...I know the feeling.  I hope it works out for you and your DH...when is your court date?  Keep us posted!  Good luck!

regarding the school, you don't have to go through the BM.  Go directly through the school.  Email the teachers and principal and do it often.  Provide them with several self addressed stamped envelopes to send you report cards and interim reports and other information.  It's the law that they have to provide the father with the information.  There's a letter on this site you can send if they are reluctant to give you the information.

As for the every weekend part...you can try the route that this is the way it's been done for this time period (show a trend), but I doubt the court will put in writing that you get every weekend, because both parents have a right to have non-school time with the child.   What will probably happen is that it will be ordered every other weekend and if BM doesn't want to have the child on her weekend, you can take her.  You should also get right of first refusal put in your court order so that she can't put your SD in daycare or with a baby sitter without offering the time to you first.  

I know that's not what you want to hear, but I'm just giving you a realistic view on it.  You may get lucky and get every weekend, but the chances are not in your favor on that one.  

Good Luck,
Tobie

I can tell you now, they won't let him have her EVERY weekend.  It will be every other weekend.  

They will give every other holiday unless your DH and the BM come to an alternate agreement on their own.  I can't remember what your county was for Christmas.  Some counties do half and half and others do every other year for the entire break.  

How old is she?  If she's out of toddler age, she she will be allowed to spend extended time with her dad during the summer.  If I remember right, your county has very liberal time in the summer...4 or 6 weeks, right?  You can do whatever you want...even travel...with her during your time.  

Make sure in your custody agreement, you have provision for telephone visitation.  It wasn't in my DH's at first and his EX said that since it wasn't in the custody agreement that he was allowed to call, that she didn't have to let him talk to his boys.  Also get in there that you guys are allowed to send letters, email and packages to your SD and that they be given to her without censorship and that they be given to her immediately (or within 24 hours or something like that).