Messages

>I'm a lawyer, not an oracle.

That is debatable ;-)

Many thanks.

Last summer former spouse abducted child, was missing for 6 weeks.
Had court hearing in Louisiana establishing jurisdiction in Texas.
Had Texas hearing (after former spouse was a no show on three occasions) tempory orders were written-up as to the judges decree.
(If thats not enough to spark your memory, I'll post more)

Former spouse has not signed temporary orders, and Thanksgiving visitation is a week away.  The vague previous custody orders were the reason a recovery by law enforcement was not initiated during the abduction, the new orders are concrete with no gray area on the dates involved...but remain unsigned, unfiled in court. Over a month has passed from the hearing, the temporary orders were written as per the judges instructions, and in opposing counsels hand 5 days after hearing.

Do I have to follow unsigned temporary orders and send my child on Thanksgiving visitation with a person that abducted my child not more than a month and a half ago?

Is this just a tactic to run with my child, with my former spouse knowing that not signing the temporary orders buys her time before the court will react?

If I have to allow visitation without signed, on file, enforceable, temporary orders, and I say hell no, am I looking at contempt, and how bad is it? (With prior abduction this summer, I'm thinking a lot stronger language than hell no, btw)

Thanks for your time Soc.

Thanks for the suggestion, will do.

I couldn't really figure out where to post, as I'm still pretty new to forum boards.

No, my ex has full legal and physical custody.
I just have summer visitation.

My Ex has full medical coverage for my child as well.
Do I pay for the tests myself, or would her medical insurance pay for it without prior consultation?

I'm concerned about my childs mental health, I suspect clinical depression.  He's on summer visitation with me, and lives the rest of the year at his moms.
Can I get him checked out by a local psychologist without her consent?

The 11 year old will know BS when he hears it, but the balance will be presenting the facts in a non-judgemental way...a tough line to walk, but it will pay off in the long run.  Your 6 year old might me influenced by lies, but keeping a firm line on doing what you say you will, and being consistant with your parenting will go a long way towards presenting a comforting and stable home environment...and the best reason of all is it will allways be in your childrens best interest to keep an even keel, and love them unconditionaly...even if they start to buy the other parents lies.

Don't contribute to any alienation that might be going on by being passive, assert yourself, your love for them, and correct any misconceptions before they become entrenched.

Don't bank on being able to disprove false allegations...but you would know your situation better than I.  Whats your attorneys take on it?

Hang in there man, if there is anything better than being a parent to our kids, I have yet to hear of it.

What state are you in?

On the surface, not taking possible gender bias into consideration, you are the custodial parent with two years under your belt, and as long as everything else in the post-divorce environment has been positive, she has an uphill battle to prove a "substantial change in circumstances".

I am currently fighting my former spouse with a similiar situation, despite my being the sole legal and physical custodial parent for the last 9 years.

Start preparing yourself for the absolute worst accusations, as tearing you down is going to be the most effective attack in a situation like you are describing.

Except for Louisiana.
Trust ME.

But the other normal 49 states are all part of the UCCJA, and it dictates that the "Home State" is the state the child has lived in for 6 months before anything has been filed as to a change in circumstances.  The BM can still file in another state though, depending on the attorney she hires.  All that will do is cause you to waste money on a jurisdictional fight that will take all of 10 minutes to resolve once before a judge.

I reccomend getting an attorney's views, and doing a pre-emptive filing to change the previous arrangements.  Better there is a live paper trail in your home state than another.

Ask Socrateaser, serious as a heart attack.

Hang in there man.

If this is eating at you, that might be the reason it was "slipped" when your former spouse was drinking.  I'm trying to think of something that could potentialy undermine a fathers confidence as much as a statement about the paternity of one of his children, and I'm pulling a blank.

If it's bugging you, get the test.
If it's one of those things you'd just rather not get confirmed, let sleeping dogs lie.

Kitty's right about the "peace of mind" factor though.