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Thanks Kitty,

I had a feeling there wasnt anything we could really do "legelly", but I thought I would see if anyone knew of anything.

I know she wont sign anything, and she will keep taking them, even if it is just to upset the father.

We really arent worried about the medical costs, we are just worried about the health of the children in general.  The youngest came back with a sun burn and was sick to her stomach after the session.

Thanks for your reply though.

FL Step Mom

My husband's ex picked up their two girls (6 & 11) for her visitation this weekend.  Father has school time custody, and mother has summer time custody.  With alternating weekends during both.

She works in a tanning salon and took them both to tan.  All we can find is that if a parent signs a form, and stays in the room, it is allowed for the child to tan.

Is there any way we can un-allow tanning in a tanning bed by the children?  Is there some kind of form we can fill out and give to the tanning salon?  Or would we have to go all the way to a judge to stop the practice?

I realize this seems like a small matter, and it may be now.  But what happnes in the summer when she has them all week and wants to take them daily?

Thanks for any advise.

Hi, this is the BF.

I was told by several law enforcement agencies that I cannot get a police escort without having filed a contempt charge against her first.  Also we divorced without attornies. I have told the BM that if she had a problem with what we had agreed upon already she could take me back to court. I feel that I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want to show my children what kind of life they would be living with the BM, but don't really want them to experience it first hand.

A little background:

In November last year the BM told BF that he could have the kids.  We took them, got them in school, got grades and such back in order.

Set the paperwork to say that BF gets children during the school year, with BM getting them every other weekend.  This is reversed during the summer.

Just since school started (3 weeks) BM started by asking if she could pick up kids from school one day.  Then it became once a week, now she wants them back perminately.  I realize it was insane for BF to let it begin at all, but he is a compromising sort.

My question:

What happens if we take her name off the pick-up lists at the school?  She has no reason to pick them up from school because it is not her parental time until the weekend or summer.   She is to pick them up from our house Friday evenings on her weekend, and we pick them back up from her on Sunday evenings.

She has hijacked the whole school thing, picking them up before us, then refusing to return them.  I realize we could get her on contempt, but that would create a more stressful situation for the kids.  Once we remove her name, if she tries to keep them again, we will be filing contempt.  But right now our concern is getting them back in our house.

Any ideas or comments are greatly appreciated.

FL Step Mom

Mixed Bag

The papers just got signed last week.  You know the whole time were were wishing and hoping, but you never know.  We just knew something would go wrong right at the end and spoil it all.  

Each step was such a relief, but then the next step is there, and it could always go wrong.    I can't believe it has finally happened.

Not to mention, it has taken some getting used to going from a 1 child home to 3.  All girls and all in elementary school.  Whew!

Thanks again everyone for your well wishes.

FL Step Mom

The last time I posted, I was asking for advise and help.  It has been some time since then, but I wanted to give a little update.

BM agreed to letting BF have the girls (6 & 9) for the entire school year.  She will have them every other weekend during that time, and the rolls will be reversed in the summer.

This is really great news for us.  The main problem with her having the children is the lack of focus on school.  That may sound minor at this young age, but the third grader was reading on a 1st grade level when she moved in with us.  She has now just started reading at a beginner 3rd grade level.

Surprisingly after all the trouble we have had with BM, she is really cooperating with us now.  Even before the papers got finalized (which they now are).  In the past we had to deal with the abusive phone calls, the refusal of visitation, and even the brain washing of the kids.

The kids have been living with us since Thanksgiving.  They have adjusted well and the oldest has even realized how nice it is to have her own bed and stay in the same house from month to month.  The stability is such a relief to her, you can see it.

Anyway, I wanted to update everyone that tried to help when we were going through it all.  Thanks so much!

FL Step Mom

So how would it look if BM didnt show up?  She has no transportation, and she may even be in jail when the time comes.  I am assuming that it would just look as though she didnt care.  But I am afraid that they might want to reschedule.  

Also, do you really think it will all be over that same day, or might it take a few more weeks after that for a judge to see it?

Thanks so much for your help!

FL Step Mom

We received a notice that our case was to be heard by a General Magistrate.  It stated that if we wanted to be heard by a Judge instead, we must object.

The papers we filed is changing to joint custody with all of school year with BF and summer with BM.  Both parties have agreed on this and signed the paperwork.

We have had the children in our home (BF) for two months now.  The entire time we have been catering to BM to keep her happy and from changing her mind.  Even paying for her hotel rooms when she has no where to stay.

Do we want to be heard by a General Magistrate?  Or should we insist on a Judge?  What does all this mean.  Can the Magistrate make a final decision?  Should we let BM know about the hearing?  We have no idea how she will behave at that time.

Any advise would be very helpful.

FL Step Mom

Yes, we filed ourselves.  I will ask my husband to call and see what he can find out.  I have been checking online everyday to see if a date has been set.  

She has fines that are due today, and we know she doesnt have any money.  If she doesnt pay by today, she is supposed to spend 30 days in jail.  That would get her out of our hair for now, and also make her miss the court date.  Of couse everytime something really bad happens to her, she calls her evil mother who bails her out on one condition... she keeps the kids.

Thanks for your support.  Keep your fingers crossed!

FL Step Mom

Thanks for everyone's input.  You guys are so supportive of each other, it is great.  I have read these boards on and off for about a year.

We did get the kids back and they are doing ok.  I am just concerned about the future.  We have been tip toeing around this women since she handed over the kids.  Every time she wants to see them for 1 hour, we drive them the hour there and the hour back so they can sit and watch TV with her for an hour.  

The court system doesnt seem to be moving very fast.  The papers are filed, but that is it, not even a court date set.  

Again, thanks so much for your help. And if anyone has any ideas on papers to file to hurry this along or to prevent her from taking them back, please share.

Thanks!