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Messages - JW

#1
Custody Issues / RE: Never believe it
Nov 21, 2005, 12:57:29 PM
Thanks for your interest - it's been hectic. The hearing went well. My ex was required to keep daughter in school until Nov 23rd when a regular hearing/trial has been set for 9:00 AM. I was in Alabama on the 18th, also. The court wants all school records, child support records, moving records, the judge is asking for witnesses (which have been called), he also wants to talk to the child. My ex swore that she would "never" allow our daughter in court, so my attorney had my DAUGHTER served today, but with my ex having to sign because she's a minor. She's fit to be tied. She doesn't want my daughter talking to anyone. She has told people I'm behind on support (I have 24 months of cancelled checks), that I left AL because I was on crack (I have drug tests from employer starting 24 months ago), that I was going to send child to boarding school, just all kinds of crazy stuff. She's getting desperate and grasping at straws. Thanks for the good wishes - I'll keep you posted after the holidays. This could be info maybe some other father deserves to have. First of all, have your "ducks in a row." I have dates, times, checks, everything for the past 18-24 months, copies of receipts, witnesses, etc. Be prepared for anything and everything. Only advice I have so far.
#2
Custody Issues / RE: Never believe it
Nov 10, 2005, 01:01:38 PM
Check out this link. My attorney found out what kind of surgery before doing this. Most go back to work within a week and go home the same day. Science is great. So many surgeries and easier now. I wanted to be somewhat compassionate, no matter how it sounds. She had it done at the new women's center in Huntsville.

http://www.webmd.com/hw/womens_conditions/tv7114.asp?pagenumber=4
#3
I know this sounds terrible, but I have a felony record from when I was about 23 years old. I am now 46. I had just gotten home from a tour with the army, went back to hometown, and got into a big scuffle trying to "prove" I was a "man."

It was not a pretty fight, and the other party ended up in the hospital for over a week. It was a felony assault and battery. To this day, I don't have a mark on my record. I think the time since, the type of crime, where and why, all that matters. If it was a recent drug charge, abuse charge, etc., I'd be cautious. But if like me, from 20+ years ago, everything should be fine.

Good Luck - and remember - everyone has made, or makes, mistakes they wish they could undo. I know I have.

#4
Be glad to keep you posted - my daughter is in 6th school in 5 years - three of them this year, and my ex wonders why her grades have dropped.

I don't know what other states call it, but my attorney filed a motion for orders Pendente Lite, which are temporary orders until a hearing is set, which could be months or years (how great would THAT be)? And, icing on the cake, my ex, of course, would still have joint custody, but she would be responsible for coming to see our daughter on weekends and holidays, and would have to pay child support. She told me months ago when I tried to negotiate times, places, and money with her that it would be "over my dead body" that our daughter would ever have anything to do with me, this was after she spent the whole summer here?!

I think the poor woman has lost her mind - she's trying to make ME suffer through our child, and that's just downright WRONG. She doesn't even keep her on weekends when I don't have her. Our child is just a powerhold/powertrip to her. She told my fiancee that our child was "the best part" of me, and that she would always have control because of it. My fiancee doesn't take much crap from anyone, including me :(, and her response was "what, a pile of sperm?He's got three other kids you know." My ex was so mad she started crying. I tell you, the woman is immature and insecure both.

Wish me and my daughter luck and good luck with yours. I know some of this was off-track, but sometimes it just cracks me up the things she is thinking. She never used to be this way - I just don't understand why the kids can't come first.
#5
Custody Issues / RE: School Attendence Issue
Nov 10, 2005, 09:55:55 AM
My fiancee works in a school, and this is correct. The school will not send someone to a home to school a student for home-schooling. They will send one for home-bound, which in high school is typically someone who has had surgery, an illness, a baby, etc. that will be returning at a later date. The parent applies through the board of education. Also, if a child is pending expulsion, not suspension, that child is entitled until the hearing. This is the policy in KY. There is no school system in the US that afford to send teachers to all homes that wanted home-schooling. ALL the kids would want to stay home. Good luck and hope this helps.

Right now my child has been in three schools in 3 1/2 weeks - technically she is not even enrolled in the 3rd one right now. She has not been in school since last Thursday. I have a hearing today at 4:00 about this. Keep pushing to keep your child in school; call the school daily; call the board of education; call your local family court; call the truant officer. There are options for you to help your child.
#6
Hang in there. Everyone told me my child's situation wasn't bad enough either, but I finally convinced my attorney Tuesday afternoon to talk to the judge yesterday morning and request an ex parte hearing. He was concerned enough that a hearing is set for TODAY at 4:00. My ex was served last night at 8:00. She doesn't have TIME to clean up her situation, and if she did, conveniently, 12 hours after being served, she'd look like an idiot.

Keep the faith - I'll know by 5:00 tonight. I know this is just a hearing for temporary physical custody, but it's step one, and if I get over this one BIIIIIG step, I think it will make it harder for my ex to get her back. My child has changed schools three times in four weeks. My argument will be to leave her with me to complete her school year so she won't go to five schools in one year. I'll concentrate on making her feel secure, happy, and I'll help to improve her grades. I'll also enroll her in some extra-curricular activities, etc.

Wish me luck, and my daughter, and just keep hanging in there and let the ex hang him/herself. I kept diligent paperwork, documented everything, and told nothing but the truth without judging my ex. Don't try to look vindictive.

A hearing in one day - what's that tell you about my child's situation??
#7
Custody Issues / Never believe it
Nov 10, 2005, 08:15:15 AM
Apparently the judge was so concerned over my daughter yesterday morning after reading my info that he set a hearing for 4:00 TODAY!! My attorney called me at 3:00 yesterday, FAXed the affadavit, I FAXed it back this morning, and they served my ex at her home last night at 8:00. The first page was about Uniform Child Custody Act pursuant to Alabama Code 30-3-29, and the second page was Affadavit of ___________ in support of Motion for Orders Pendente Lite, whatever that means; all I know is what it SAID, and it was all good for me.

Now, of course, I'm a nervous wreck, at least until 4:00. I didn't have to be there, but if my ex doesn't show up, and knowing her like I do she'll think this is a bluff, even though I've warned her, I can go get my daughter tonight or in the morning.

I'm not overly religious, but I hope SOMEONE is praying for me, and for my daughter.
#8
If you are in AL, check the state codes concerning truancy. Ask the school and the board of education to file truancy charges against your child/ex. She'll have to be made accountable. Take pictures, get written statements from teachers, neighbors, etc. Build a case before starting one. good luck.
#9
Custody Issues / RE: Father wins custody
Nov 09, 2005, 12:20:33 PM
That would be great, but I live over 4 hours away. But....
My attorney has called three times today and an emergency hearing has been filed, with a date to be heard either tuesday or wednesday next week. Some boards think I'm terrible for "taking" my daughter away from her mother. This is not the case at all. I just want what's best; we'll still have joint custody. SHE can make the trip to visit and pay child support if she chooses to continue a life as a single person, not a single parent, which is what she's been doing. I have offered to help multiple times, but kindness and sympathy only go so far. My daughter is at the hospital again today, waiting for her "mommy" to be discharged. I have contacted DHR to please go by the new address tomorrow and verify that my child is not enrolled in school and expected to stay home and "take care of" a grown woman. She is 9 - let her be a kid. Wish me luck next week, I'll probably need a little. I figure if the judge has agreed to even hear me, being out of state, that's a sign in my favor. Of course, this is for temporary physical custody, but I figure it's an uphill battle for her, too, at this point. Thanks for the support and encouragement.
#10
Custody Issues / RE: Anyone know who has rights?
Nov 09, 2005, 10:05:19 AM
Whatever is in the original, written document is what you go by. If he physical custody, and everything else has been "verbal," both parties made a mistake that could be costly. Your husband and the ex will have to file papers to modify whatever items need to changed.

Most powerful words in the English language "in writing."

Good luck - dad's deserve their kids, too.