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Messages - ncpneedshelp

#1
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Indiana, huh?
Mar 29, 2007, 07:18:24 AM
I completely understand what you are saying.

Unfortunately, in the world today, people are judged on their
appearance.  As I stated before he is already being teased about
his teeth.  So to me, that is a need...because it is hurting him emotionally.  Yes, I know kids tease, that's normal.  But isn't a parent wanting to make things better for their kids normal too!?!

I am not going to push the issue, believe me there are many more important issues we have problems with!  So if issue is ignored
I will probably drop it for now.... But as I was taught if you don't ask you won't get!  

Thank you, again!
#2
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Indiana, huh?
Mar 29, 2007, 06:29:06 AM
It really would be cosmetic purposes, I think.... I can't get any information out of them for sure.  
I have emailed, told EX I wanted to take son to get braces, told them I would split, or pay, asked them if they would supply insurance info and write letter stating "permission" to do so....
I also would find an orthodontist locally that has Saturday hours, the only thing they would have to worry about is if something broke while there...
I will await Ex's response, but whenever I ask something they don't want to answer, or if they know I am right, it gets ignored...
Unfortunately, my children (son 12 and daughter 9) do not feel comfortable enough to talk to Ex or Ex's spouse about alot of things.  Afraid it will upset Ex some how, so I hear about certain things EOW and often don't know what, if anything, I could or should do.
Thank you for advise!
#3
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Indiana, huh?
Mar 28, 2007, 03:05:24 PM
Unfortunately, Ex is now unemployed (kind of, again a long story!) and Ex's spouse is self employed, so no HR to contact!
I do remember once that they told me they had BCBS, I think I will contact BCBS this week and ask!  Worse they can say is "no we can't give you that information".
Or, can the insurance company give me the information? Another think I need to find out about!
As I stated before tho, I don't care if I have to figure out a way to pay for this myself or if insurance does, I just want to do what is best for my son!
Thank you.
#4
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Son needs braces
Mar 28, 2007, 02:59:19 PM
Thank you.
Ex has full custody.  They live in different part of state.  And
I figured I did not have the "right" to get braces for him on my dime.  That's what I meant when I said I would pay the whole thing, I know darn well no one's EX would argue someone paying the bill 100%!  But
I was thinking of having it done this summer (kids here majority of summer.) without saying anything to anyone and taking whatever from Ex and/or courts when I had to.  Kids are more important than some things, but I know it would make thing ALOT more stressful for the kids if I just did it anyways.

Ex's spouse intercepts every email even when addressed to EX...
My son really wants braces and yes, it would be cosmetic.  Ex has bad teeth so probably doesn't think it is important.  But kids tease my son  and it hurts him and me to hear this.

Not sure which way I am going to proceed on this, but appreciate your input!!
But what would a court actually do if I did just do it and Ex took me to court?  Hmm, makes me wonder.
Thank you.
#5
Dear Socrateaser / Son needs braces
Mar 28, 2007, 11:33:30 AM
I am NCP.  In Indiana.  Ex has insurance on kids, but won't supply me with information as court ordered.
My son, 12, is in desperate need of braces and CP knows this, but is
spending all extra money on vehicles...long story!

1) Anyways, can I take my son to get the braces, pay my half of whatever insurance doesn't pay and send bill to CP?
2) Or can I just pay for them myself without reprocutions from CP or courts?

I really don't care who pays he just needs to get them and I am getting NOWHERE with EX or EX's spouse on this issue..

Any input is greatly appreciated!
Thanks in advance.
#6
I am non-custodial parent of 2 children. 1 in public school, 1 being home schooled.  Once again I find myself "arguing"/"begging" for time with my children during Christmas Break.   We are in Indiana, different counties.   I am pasting the exact wording from the Indiana Parenting Guidelines.......


B.  Christmas Vacation.

One-half of the period which will begin at 8:00 P.M. on the evening the child is released from school and continues to December 30 at 7:00 P.M.  If the parents cannot agree on the division of this period, the custodial parent shall have the first half in even-numbered years.  In those years when Christmas does not fall in a parent's week, that parent shall have the child from Noon to 9:00 P.M. on Christmas Day. The winter vacation period shall apply to pre-school children and shall be determined by the vacation period of the public grade school in the custodial parent's school district.


Of course we both read this different.  I read it as the vacation period is determined by the school districts vacation.  (12/22 thru 1/7)  Ex reads it as the vacation is from the night they get out of school until the 30th.  Which would be the 22nd thru the 30th.  So they want to split 8 days of vacation as opposed to the two weeks.

1) how do you understand this reading?
2) is it worth it to, once again, involve my attorney?  (if I am wrong, by your standards, I probably wouldn't)

Just need to know which direction to head on this, argue or settle, but HATE settling when it comes to my children!
Thank you!
 

#7
Dear Socrateaser / Help with arrearage letter
Jun 12, 2006, 04:20:02 PM
I am writing this for a friend, as you have helped me many times I am hoping together we can help him!
He is behind approximately $3000 in support.  Was basically unemployed for 3 years, actually made about $2500 a year doing odd jobs.  Sent support when possible.  Took son to get shoes, clothes and hair cuts every chance he had.  Even borrowed money to do it.
In no way is he saying he isn't at fault.  He now has a full time job and is willing and wanting to do whatever he has to to take care of.
Problem is, his ex didn't start the court order for the arrears, the state of indiana did.  (State of Indiana, IF&SSA)  He has been trying to contact the Deputy Prosecuting Attorney, with all the run around from the office workers you can imagine.  He has given them his employment information.  His ex wife has agreed to him having additional taken from his check weekly to get arrears paid, even tho I doubt she would have much say in it.   I know you would probably say borrow the money to pay off the arrearage, but that isn't possible.
So, my questions:
1) is there a "correct" way to write the DPA requesting that this be done without having to go to court?  (forgot to mention he lives 3 hours away from county court is in)
2) Does his ex-wife have any say in this since it is the state initiating this?
3) do you have any advise for the letter to the DPA praying for her mercy in getting this handled without the drive, missed work, and fees for cour? (obviously can't afford an attorney)

Thank you for any help you can give us!
#8
Just my opinion but....

I also follow the Indiana Parenting Guidelines and they are WAY too broad and leave for plenty of arguments.
My children live 1.5 hours away with CP.  When they have a function or something they want to do on one of my weekends, I take them or say they can't unless their CP is willing to switch weekends with me.
I have done ALOT of extra driving, including letting my son go to his friends to spend the night (1.5 hours away) and arranging to take them (have a daughter too)  home afterwards.  (even tho he was 5 minutes from CP house I had to drive up there pick him up and take him home) However, I know this is what the kids want and regardless of what I feel about CP or CP feels about me I will do my best to accomodate my children's growth social and in school.
So, tell CP you will switch weekends so your child can do the camp, and if she is not willing to switch then say no!  Your child may be mad at first but in the end the time you spend together is much more important!  I have had to say no, and kids get upset, then thank me later!

To me what stinks is the upcoming month of April for non custodial parents in Indiana.  CP this year gets kids for spring break (1st week in april) and for Easter weekend.  Which technically makes this the last weekend I am "entitled" to until April 28th.  I have already requested a makeup weekend or couple of days during spring break...requested 2 weeks ago, still waiting for "approval" and dates (I specified ANY TIME THEY SAY I WILL DO)
 
So, don't give up your time with your children.  If they are in the same city especially this shouldn't be an issue, I would think.  You take him to camp and pick him up to at least get that first "excitement" after them doing something!  And he knows you are involved with his activities!

As I said, my opinion thru my experience dealing with "Indiana" which is not an easy thing to do!
#9
Dear Socrateaser / thank you. nm
Feb 26, 2006, 12:53:10 PM
  :)
#10
Dear Socrateaser / before or after?
Feb 26, 2006, 11:24:47 AM
Soc,

I have been NCP for 7 years now...I am ready to have my attorney file motion for modification of custody.  I also know that my ex is ready to file a motion for increase in child support.

1) Should I go ahead with my motion before ex does?

2) Does it matter which motion is filed first? or does one look better than the other...if you know what I mean.  

Thanks!