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Case in NJ (your favorite)

Custodial in NJ/non-custodial TX

Have you had any dealings with Parental Coordinator or judge ordering use of Our Family Wizard software (//www.ourfamilywizard.com)???

My ex and I do not speak at all(ex's choice), she frustrates visitation at every turn, I have gotten numerous contempt charges levied against her, financial penalties and finally after court appointed counseling for her (and still no change) the judge ordered us (at my request) to use a parental coordinator.

It has been over 1/2 a year since that ruling and ex still has not taken our son to his -introductory- meeting..........I feel frustrated because ex follows none of the court orders- so

If the judge orders use of this software- what good will it do- and does it have a track record of actually helping families??????????

Thanks

Thanks Soc-

You wrote:  I can't get more specific, unless you post the exact text of the other parent's motion, so I can read each allegation.


The Defendant is the custodial parent who filed, I am the Plaintiff-


Her filing was as follows:

The Defendnat is asking the Court to require mandatory psychological counseling for the Plaintiff, at the Plaintiff's expense, due to the Plaintiff's increasingly paranoid behavior, fabrication of stories and persistent harassment.

The Defendant is asking the Court to require the Plaintiff to provide me with proof of his counseling, as he hsa requested of me with several of his prior motions.

The Defendant is asking the court to order the Plaintiff to abstain from harassing my family and myself, whether through the US Postal service, email or telephone.

That is the Motion. Followed by about 40 pages of Exhibits- including the Filed Motions, as Exhibits of harassment.

In her certification she uses as examples of harassment my letters to our child's doctors and school requesting access to his records.  I used the sample letters on the SPARC website.  She refers to these letters as harassing and threatening in tone and that I am attempting to tell the practitioner how he/she will conduct her business affairs.

She also uses as examples of harrassment my letters to advise of change of residence or change of employment, which are required my law.

She also uses as harassment if I call the house on more than one occassion, after she has hung up on me, in an attempt to complete a conversation (I usually make two attempts- after which I put the issue in writing and send it by USPS)  She considers these mailings harassment.

What she fails to provide to the court, which I will provide is HER request that I put everything in writing, via e-mail.  Then 2 months later she e-mails that she has no access to e-mail so all writing must be via USPS, she will no longer communicate by telephone. (I do have this all in  her writing)

My question re the counseling was answered in your last response- my relationship with my son is fantastic- so that point should be moot.

However, re the harassment- you answered this well and I feel I have done nothing to warrant anyone calling my letters harassing in any way shape or form....but will the court look at what she is doing as harassing me?  Our last order was signed only 3 weeks ago, Aug 2.  Nothing has changed since that time.

Finally- What do you know about Parental Coordinators?

I am considering to ask the court to appoint one, as we do not seem to be able to agree on what color the sky is- and now our son will soon be choosing high schools then colleges (and already she is excluding me from any input), she has already indicated to family members she will refuse Holiday visitation in 2006-07 (Thanksgiving/Easter) and will offer no compensatory time.  Would Parental Coordinators be a better solution?

Do they work with in/out of state co parents??

Do they work with Pro Se litigants?

Is the usual fee structure 50/50?  And what happens if one party uses the system continually to run up bills- can the fee structure be altered?

From what I find this is a newer program in NJ, and they are still piolt programming it- so I have no idea how receptive the court would be to the idea, do you?

Apologize for the many questions- I value  your guidance-

Thanks

thank you for all your guidance in the past-  here is a new question-just to recap
 ex-Wife and child are in NJ
 Custody is joint legal in NJ
 I reside in Texas

Recently I have been forced to file 4 motions, over 2 1/2 years to assert my rights, contact, visitation, counseling etc.  In all but a few instances all of my requests have been granted and Defendant (ex) was found in contempt and ordered to do what she was previously ordered to do, with only sime minor financial penalties imposed.

The last motion was heard and filed just this Aug 2006.  I was seeking additional counseling, based on a voicemail she left on my machine- where she forgot to hang up- in it she can be heard saying all sorts of horrible things ot my son.  In the motion she had to provide proof of attending counseling, as I was asking for her to attend the counseling from 2005.  She provided this proof and the judge felt it was sufficient.  So no additional counseling was granted- not sure if he actually listened to the CD file.

A motion was filed by Defendant and I just received my copy- in it she asks
...require mandatory psychological counseling for the Plaintiff, at the Plaintiff's expense, due to the Plaintiff's increasingly paranoid behavior, fabrication of stories and persistent harrassment.

...to require the Plaintiff to provide me with proof of his counseling, as he has requested of me with several of his prior motions.

...to order the Plaintiff to abstain from harrassing my family and myself, whether through the US Postal service, e-mail or telephone.


She is clearly asking for this motion as retaliation for not getting the previous orders to go her way and having to grant me access to our son, against her wishes...

How do I ask the court to not grant it, based on it being retaliatory- and in the Defendant's interest not in our son's?

Her claims of fabrication of stories, paranoid behavior and persistent harrassment are unfounded and she presents a few random emails- all of which do not substantiate her claims.  I had, in the past, recorded her telephone calls because she flip flopped her stories so frequently- but I have not done so in the last 6 months or so and I am not sure if the facts on those tapes are usable to any degree..are they??

She is calling certified mail harrassment- how do I handle this?  

She returns just about everything- I only send the following:  court motions, change of address, change of employment, change of insurance and IF she hangs up on me by telephone or refuses email- which she does- then I send my response via USPS.  I do not see it as harrassment, but I do not know how the courts look at things, and this is NJ, and I know you are very candid re NJ-

So let me hear it- the Good the Bad and the Ugly- whatever it may be!

Thanks

My issue regards a recent enforcement oirder, in which the judge seemed to change some items and I need to know if this should have happened and how to handle.

I am in TX , child and CP live in NJ.  I have joint legal custody.

The original order was for the CP(mom) to attend counseling and for the child to attend counseling.  The CP was to pay 75% of the cost of the child's counseling.

The CP refused.

The CP would only take our child to counseling IF I agreed she could pay $30 and I pay the balance- so I did so that he would get to counseling (after 8 months of her dragging feet)-

I then filed contempt/enforcement motion with NJ courts- here is what the enforcement says


Plaintiff's application to enforce AUG 24 2005 order, with respect to Defendant paying 75% of the cost of counseling of the minor child, and reimbursement of fees paid by the Plaintiff, is hereby DENIED.  This court finds that the parties executed an agreement for the child's out of network therapist whereby Defendant agreed to pay $30 per session, while Plaintiff was responsible for $55.00 per session.  Defendant shall pay 75% of the unreimbursed costs for any in-network service providers for the son's counseling.

Question-How did I argue it wrong- when I tried to show the court that she twisted my arm to sign the document to get him counseling- and refused- I thought I was being the bigger person by taking the hit then- to get him the counseling- and dealing later with the contempt motion- but now it appears I was wrong...in the future how should I handle her refusal to do, unless I....?

Qurestion- In my previous orders from years ago it stated that CP was responsible for ALL out of pocket expenses for medical, due to her refusal to cover the child on insurance.  Does the most recent order in anyway change that past order??? (to me it seems it is just referring to counseling)


Second issue- same motion regarding counseling.  CP took son to counselor, without my consent some 5 years ago.  I learned of it last year and requested the child's medical records.  The CP and the counselor refused.  The court ordered in 2005 that the CP advise the counselor to turn over the records.
The CP refused.  And stated so to the court.
In the enforcement order the judge now states the following:  Plaintiff's application to enforce the DEC 22, 2005 order, with respect to Defendant providing written authorization for the son's healthcare providers to communicate with Plaintiff regarding son's health care is hereby GRANTED.  Defendant shall provide written authorization to the son's healthcare providers so that they may provide treatment information about the son to Plaintiff. (HERE IS WHERE HE CHANGED THE ORDER) However, the son's counselors shall not be required to disclose information about the son's treatment to the parties, uneless the parties' son specifically permits his counselors to do so.


I have joint legal custody.

I thought, in NJ, that  meant equal say and information re medical, yet this order seems to be saying I need the CP' OK on anything..

QUESTIONS-.is that just the way it is?  And when filing for an enforcement action is it normal/ accepted practice for the judge to change the terms of the previous order- as he has done on these two matters?

Order is in NJ, child is in NJ, I am in TX

I am filing an Enforce Litigants Rights motion in NJ regarding numerous orders which the CP has violated from August and December 2005.  The most difficult of which is the CP's derogatory remarks about me and her letting the minor child read all court documents, her sabotaging visitation, and all in all violating the courts order that "the Defendant is not to interfere with the Plaintiff's relationship with the son or attempt to estrange the son from the Plaintiff."

Up until recently all of the 'proof' I had was pure speculation on my part, and gut feeling.  Then a recording fell into my lap.  A telephone call to my residence during which the CP berates me to the child and plots a plan to get what she/they want from me- less visitation time.(go home early)

Part of the original orders were that the CP attend counseling- she refuses.  This will all be part of the contempt motion.

The question is this:  Can I specifically ask that the courts remove the child from the environment, however, what I would like to see happen is that the child live for some time with his grandparents (same schools, same neighborhood, same friends, less traumatic for my son, and he already spends 2-3 days/nights a week there) rather than have the courts say he has to come to Texas- if he wants to come that is fine, but I think it would be traumatic for him and I am torn.
Can I ask them to assign my joint custody with his grandparents rather than the CP(mom) while she attend classes and counseling?

Would they look at that type of request?

Thanks-

As always- Thank you!  

Have a great weekend!

Can you explain what the difference is:

an enforcement action versus Enforce Litigants Rights (which I have been referring to as contempt)


Thanks-

Stateis NJ, child resides in NJ I reside in TX

The recent order in this case states the following Plaintiffs application to require Defendant and the minor child of the marriage to attend counseling is GRANTED.  Defendant is hereby ordered to pay 75% of the cost of counseling and Plaintiff shall be responsible for the remaining 25%.

Defendant is the custodial parent, mom, and she has refused to take child to counseling. Each refusal is for a different reason.  About 8 weeks ago it was back to cost- she refuses to pay more than $25.00 for counseling.  In the end I made the appointment for our son and paid the counseling costs out of pocket so she would take him.

She agreed and did take him to one session.  She is refusing to take him to any other sessions.

At the time of the order I felt it was vague so I asked the court to clarify and in the judges return letter he states that the court intentionally did not set any time limits on the counseling as this was to be determined by the parents, who share joint legal custody.

The Defendant refuses to discuss any matters with me, refuses all certified mailings, hangs up and/or screams at me anytime I call.

Questions are
1) Do I continue to make counseling appointments for the child?

2) I intend to go back to court to Enforce Litigants Rights (3rd time now in 2 years) for this issue and 4 others, do I ask the court for reimbursement of the costs the Defendant was ordered to pay in the previous order? and if so how?

3) How do I ask the court to get our son counseling, as the current order is being disregarded?  And how do I get the court to get the Defendant to go to counseling- again it is in the above mentioned order but she reffuses to go as she says she needs no counseling.


This situation is highly volatile and despite the courts already awarding me compensatory time with our son, putting monetary sanctions on her for the costs incurred when she denied visitation last year, and the court ordering counseling the hostile and abusive behavior continues toward me and in front of our son- what more do I need to ask them for?

Thanks- sorry I still got those guidelines wrong- thank you for answering anyway- I'm trying to do too much- and exhausted today-

I was thinking the same thing re 'not worth it' but wasn't sure if that was me being tired or me being rational- it is all a blur this week-

Thanks for some 3rd party insight- it all makes sense.

Have a great weekend!

sorry- got carried away

The question is  Is there a way to go about recouping monies from overpayment of child support in the state of New Jersey? (The child support is paid through TX)

The facts as they are now are that I have overpaid, through payroll deduction, approx 200.00 and would like to recoup this money.  New Jersey CS does not seem able or willing to do this.

NJCS suggested that I simply call and ask my ex to pay me back.  That does not seem possible in my case due to lack of communication between us.

(I hope this is better- and I apologize for not rereading the guidelines since my last post- many months ago- Thanks!)