Messages

I'm sorry.  Major moment of self pity. Thanks for all the help you give even though it's not always what we want to hear.

   I am not going to try to contact the child support people.  I (stepmom) am tired of trying to fix her (biomom) problems.  I have contacted the child support agencies in both Arizona and Texas trying to help biomom and have gotten no where.  I think I will call her lawyer.

I have talked to her lawyer on numerous occasions trying to speed up the process and get her(biomom) child support lowered.  I sent $1770 in taxes back to biomom that the federal government intercepted and sent to us.  In fact, I sent it over night at no cost to her.  

 So, if you think that biomom is the one being screwed here, you are wrong.  She will be paying us $50 a month forever until her arrearages are paid off.    We agreed to this because the child support agency would have charged her over $200 a month in arrearages and upped her monthly support payments.  T

This was all done while my husband (step son's dad) has been in Iraq fighting a stupid war that is never going to get better.   A war which he will be going back to in 18 months after he returns the end of November.  I am trying to raise a step son who is constantly put on emotional trips by his mother who puts him the middle of her roller coaster life.  So not only is he dealing with his dad being in a war zone for a year, but his crazy mother also.  I'm here trying to mop up the mess while she writes to me asking to send her more money that I have already spent on her biological child, my step (prefer bonus)child who I love with all my heart.  

I'm sorry.  I know this has nothing to do with legalities, but I'm tired of it all.  There are step parents and Custodial Parents who are fair and try to do the right thing.  She is the one who is getting the good deal on the arreages, not us.  We are giving her a deal, and then are asked to give more.  

Please don't be mad at me for using your board as my gripe session.  I won't do it again.  

Sorry, I guess I was about as clear as mud!!

We currently receive from biomom $362 child support and $120 a month in arrears for a total of $482 monthly

I agreed to lower support down to $300 monthly and $50 a month towards arrears for a total of $350 monthly.

I signed the modification in August when I was home on R & R from Iraq.   It got filed on September 28th.  The modification states, however, that biomom will pay $350 beginning on September 1st.  We already received the September child support.  Bio mom now wants my wife to return $130 to her from the $482 child support that was withheld from her pay check in September.  

Are we legally bound to send that money back to her even though it has already been credited to her arrears?  That is not something I am willing to do if I don't legally have to.  

If the $482 continues to be withheld in the month of October, will we have to send back the difference? ($130)  Again, that would be credited as her arrears payment.

I hope this makes sense.  Thank you.

Father-custodial parent-resides in Texas
Mother-non custodial parent-resides in Arizona
Court Order-Texas
Arizona is garnishing wages and sending the amount to us even though the order is from Texas.

Agreed upon child support modification reducing child support for the mother was filed in Texas court September 28th, and a copy was sent to me, the father who is the custodial parent.  

The order states:  "It is ordered that [mother] is obligated to pay and shall pay to [father] child support of $300.00 per month with the first payment being due and payable on September 1, 2006..."

This has been a long, drawn out process with mother taking nearly a year for her to hire, make payments to lawyer, and form a modification that I (father) could agree to.  When I was home on R & R from Iraq in August, I signed the modification.  The lawyer assured me that the date stated above would be changed to show the month following when the modification was filed with the court.  Apparently, that didn't happen.

Currently mother's wages are being garnished by the state of Arizona at the amount stipulated by the court when custody was reversed plus $120.00 a month in arrearages.  I agreed to lower the amount since any review by the attorney general would have her paying more, not less.  

Mother is now e-mailing my wife (I am still in Iraq) telling her to return $132.00 in child support from the month of September.

1)  Are we legally bound to send back this money even though most of it would be credited towards her arrears, and we have already used that money?

2.  If her wages countinue to be garnished at the higher amount(until the states coordinate records), are we required to send back the difference between that and the $300?  That would be fine except she would be credited for paying arrears, when if fact, she had not.  

Bio Dad lives in Texas and court order from Texas
Bio Mom lives in Arizona

Dad is custodial parent.  14 year old son just had a conversation on the phone with bio Mom regarding relinquishing her parental rights.  

She wants child support and arrears to be done away with.  Son likes the idea because he feels this would give him more control regarding visitation with her.  (Visitations have not been good, and son is put on major guilt trips when he wants to cut visitations short)

Bio Dad is remarried and is able to provide for son without receiving the child support.  Son is very close to Stepmom.  

Questions:

1.  Would a judge even go for this?

2.  I suppose an attorney would be needed and would be rather costly????

Hi,
Interesting thing just happened.  I called bio mom's attorney(paralegal actually)  who prepared the modification.  She said it was no problem to take out the language waiving his rights to the SCRA.  Hmmmmm.  Why put it in there at all then?  Sounds kind of sneaky to me.  Oh well!

Again, thanks!!!

Thank you very much for your response.  I will continue to try to get in touch with our lawyer.  She did leave a message stating that her first instinct is to not sign, but she needed to discuss further.  

My thought is to wait until father comes home on R & R, but bio mom is pushing hard which is affecting my stepson as he is with her for his summer break.

I will let you know what our lawyer's opinion is when I can get in touch with her.  

Again, thank you for your service.  I have learned so much by reading your board.

I know you don't like wives asking questions for husbands, but since mine is deployed to Iraq, maybe you can make an exception.  If not, I understand.  

One child-14 years old-resides in Texas
Bio dad (CP) Texas
Bio mom (NCP) Arizona
Jursidiction for case is in Texas

Bio dad agreed to sign a modification of child support to lower her monthly child support payment and arrears payment.  Since NCP waited so long to pay her lawyer, modification was not completed before bio dad deployed to Iraq.  With the modification, her lawyer sent a Waiver of Service.  Within this waiver is the wording:  

"Insofar as this suit is concerned, I waive all rights, privileges, and exemptions existing or that may herafter exist in my favor under the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act, including the appointment of counsel to represent me in this case."  

There are obvious reservations about signing this.  I am trying to contact our lawyer, but I have been unsuccessful thus far.  

Do you know if this is standard language?  

Can't bio dad just sign waiver saying that he waives making testimony and being served with citation, etc. etc.?  

Thank you very much for your consideration.

My husband was able to get a modification to primary custody based on mostly school issues.  He was very involved as my stepson had learning difficulties.  The teachers got to know and trust him.  As a result, they testified in court on his behalf which was extremely beneficial.  There was no drugs or abuse on the part of the biomom.  If you would like to know more, let me know.

If you are still interested, I have the name of a lawyer for you.  My husband successfully gained custody in Bell County six years ago.  Let me know.