I am looking for Case Law or Studies regarding Visitation with NCP.
Background: Father was an absent parent for 10 years. He moved out of state when DD was 3 months old. He refused to pay CS, and refused to be involved in DD's life at all. After many years, I just gave up hope.
X meets and marrries single mother of 2 preteens. She encourages him to start a relationship with DD. Although no CO for visitation is in place, I allow DD to go for visitation for 10 days (during school year, no less) with paternal grandparents to his state. This visit went well.
CS garnishment hits his employer, and now that CS is being taken out of check, he now DEMANDS visitation. Files for formal order. He gets 2 weeks in summer, every other Xmas. All transpo charges are his responsibility, which turns out to be the deal breaker. He moves back to our state. He immediately files for full custody, still fuming over the CS garnishments, claiming that he will gain full custody, and I will have to pay him CS. Doesn't happen. He gets EOW and Wednesdays.
It has been 3 years. We have been in court since he returned, every 6 months. He files every time for a change in custody, claiming PAS, and all sorts of false accusations. We have run the gamet of Therapists, Parenting courses, Psych Eval, Minor's Counsel, you name it, we have probably done it, or have been ordered to get it done.
DD does not have a bond with Father, and has been requesting a decrease in visitation. Right now it is EOW and EO Monday after school until 7:30pm - used to be an overnight. I think the Judge has tired of the volatile relationship we have, and the constant drama and father's continuous filing for full custody.
Our next hearing is Jan 23. Daughter is asking for 'Wild Card' weekends, where she may choose to not go for visitation with father (or may switch weekends to accomodate events) so that she may attend other scheduled events on that weekend. He has refused each and every time she has requested to switch a weekend. ie: an annual family picnic and brother's bday falls on father's weekend. They are plannning a trip to Magic Mountain that weekend. DD asks that she not go to Magic Mtn so that she may attend picnic. Father refuses. It ends up in court at the tail end of an Ex Parte hearing. Judge grants the switch for that weekend. We have this problem about 4 times a year. Father ALWAYS refuses, claiming that it is "my time with my daughter".
I know of 2 single mothers who have had their visitation order modified to allow the child the control over when visitation will occur. DD maintains that she would still probably go over one or two weekends a month, but that she wants to be the one who decides if she may attend the event or not, not father. She is still young enough (13), I doubt the court will allow this type of freedom to her just yet. I like the 'Wild Card weekends' better. Father will hate it, as he is total control freak, and will hate that he can longer demand that DD visit and miss out on the activities that she would rather be doing. I think that the Judge will allow her that much, as she has seen us in her courtroom more times than she wants to, and our situation has worsened, not improved, as the court wants to see.
Does anyone have any information that may help me? How about opinions on what DD is requesting? Thanks.
Background: Father was an absent parent for 10 years. He moved out of state when DD was 3 months old. He refused to pay CS, and refused to be involved in DD's life at all. After many years, I just gave up hope.
X meets and marrries single mother of 2 preteens. She encourages him to start a relationship with DD. Although no CO for visitation is in place, I allow DD to go for visitation for 10 days (during school year, no less) with paternal grandparents to his state. This visit went well.
CS garnishment hits his employer, and now that CS is being taken out of check, he now DEMANDS visitation. Files for formal order. He gets 2 weeks in summer, every other Xmas. All transpo charges are his responsibility, which turns out to be the deal breaker. He moves back to our state. He immediately files for full custody, still fuming over the CS garnishments, claiming that he will gain full custody, and I will have to pay him CS. Doesn't happen. He gets EOW and Wednesdays.
It has been 3 years. We have been in court since he returned, every 6 months. He files every time for a change in custody, claiming PAS, and all sorts of false accusations. We have run the gamet of Therapists, Parenting courses, Psych Eval, Minor's Counsel, you name it, we have probably done it, or have been ordered to get it done.
DD does not have a bond with Father, and has been requesting a decrease in visitation. Right now it is EOW and EO Monday after school until 7:30pm - used to be an overnight. I think the Judge has tired of the volatile relationship we have, and the constant drama and father's continuous filing for full custody.
Our next hearing is Jan 23. Daughter is asking for 'Wild Card' weekends, where she may choose to not go for visitation with father (or may switch weekends to accomodate events) so that she may attend other scheduled events on that weekend. He has refused each and every time she has requested to switch a weekend. ie: an annual family picnic and brother's bday falls on father's weekend. They are plannning a trip to Magic Mountain that weekend. DD asks that she not go to Magic Mtn so that she may attend picnic. Father refuses. It ends up in court at the tail end of an Ex Parte hearing. Judge grants the switch for that weekend. We have this problem about 4 times a year. Father ALWAYS refuses, claiming that it is "my time with my daughter".
I know of 2 single mothers who have had their visitation order modified to allow the child the control over when visitation will occur. DD maintains that she would still probably go over one or two weekends a month, but that she wants to be the one who decides if she may attend the event or not, not father. She is still young enough (13), I doubt the court will allow this type of freedom to her just yet. I like the 'Wild Card weekends' better. Father will hate it, as he is total control freak, and will hate that he can longer demand that DD visit and miss out on the activities that she would rather be doing. I think that the Judge will allow her that much, as she has seen us in her courtroom more times than she wants to, and our situation has worsened, not improved, as the court wants to see.
Does anyone have any information that may help me? How about opinions on what DD is requesting? Thanks.