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My husband I separated since Oct. 05 and have 50/50 custody. We have alternating week with our 12 yr old son. We have been going to a mediator than having lawyers. I thought we were done with our agreement. Were just waiting for the mediator to finish typing up papers to sign. Problem has started with visitation already. First I have no family in CA other than our son. My soon to be ex parents have been divorced for 23 yrs. They both now have large families. First stbx has twice talked to our son first on changing days. First he asked to have our son one day ahead during my week for a family gathering. I said I like more notice and said sorry forgot. I asked our son if he would like to go and he said it didn't matter but his Dad said he was going the day before. I told stbx he needed to discuss with me first and it did not matter to our son if he went. Stbx said off course he said that because our son didn't want to hurt my feelings and I should not talked to him and this was a family gathering and was the best interest of our son. Then I found out he had booked a cabin with his Dad and Stepmom on my week a month ago and told our son without discussing it with me. He said it was the only week he could arrange it with his Dad and other family members and assumed I could work around it. Because it was a family gathering. Now his Stepmom wants our son on his Dad's birthday during my time. Is it wrong of me this will get out of hand? My stbx has our son 50% of the time is it wrong of me to have them do it on his time? Also just found out stbx went out of town because our son did not want to go. He said he was going to ask me first but he accidently said he was going infront of his stepmom and then asked our son to stay with them. Question can I have it in the visitation agreement I will be asked first when he is going to be gone overnight? Also he needs to discuss with me first right away when he knows he wants to change schedule on my time?  Need advise what to have in aggreement so this will not get difficult and stay equal without sending our son back and forth homes like a ping pong ball to make up missed visitation time.