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Thank you for answering my questions. Since I originally wrote, we had a CFI appointed, and went through the evaluation process. At first the court appointed a CFI that I chose, then changed it to one he chose because mine wouldn't do the evaluation unless both parents agreed to use him. The CFI report was horribly biased in his favor, based on his lies, and the recommendations to the court are confusing and contradictory. So now my lawyer says we have to motion for a "full custody evaluation" which the court may or may not allow, and which I have to pay for. $10,000!! You are totally right... I was naive going into the CFI process, didn't want to bad-mouth dad, and trusting that this guy would be fair. I actually thought he would have my child's best interests at heart. I feel so stupid.
I would appreciate hearing from you again. Since you're a dad, I'd really like your opinion on how to get my child's father to mediate and settle this out of court. I want him to be important in her life. I want her to have her father. I'm not trying to keep her from him. But he's angry that I won't agree to his demands (overnights right now, even though she's never lived with him or spent the night away from me and is still in diapers; no right of first refusal, he wants to leave her with whoever he wants during his time) He won't speak to me or even look at me when picking up or dropping off our child. There's been too much attorney involvement, too many hard feelings. The court ruled that we have to mediate, but even if he goes, he won't compromise. I just don't know how to get through to him.

Has anyone had any experience with a Special Advocate in Colorado (now called a Child and Family Investigator)? My ex boyfriend, father of my 18 mo. daughter is requesting a CFI to determine what's "in her best interests" before we go to court for final orders. This sounds expensive and scary. We never lived together, never married, and my daughter has never spent the night away from me. Her father takes her to his mother's house for a 6 hour visit every Sat., and that's all she can handle. She comes home hungry, tired, over-excited and is very clingy. I'm afraid of what the CFI will recommend.

Thank you so much. It's good to know there's an end in sight.

Dear Soc,

The paternal grandmother filed a motion to allow her to intervene in my paternity case (The father admits paternity, so this case is to decide parenting responsibilities, visitation, decision making.)

She also filed for grandparent visitation. Both of these motions were denied. Now she's taking them to the Colorado court of appeals.

1. If the decisions are affirmed, what legal step could she take next?

2. If the decisions are reversed, what can I do to fight her?

3. How many further legal steps could be involved, if she loses her appeal?

4. When, if ever, is the court's decision absolutely final? In other words, will she be able to take me back to court again and again?

Thank you for your time.

Dear Soc,
     The BF has visitation, which takes place at his mother's house. Our orders require that he provide for the 2 year-old child's care during his parenting time, and that he is the only one to drive the child while he is with him.
     The paternal GM has filed for visitation, and wants her own time with the child in addition to the time the BF already has. This was denied by the court, but is now going to appeal. The PGM is not a danger to the child, but wants "her own time" with the child.

     What are the chances that she'll win her appeal?

     What evidence should I be prepared to present?

Thank you.

Dear Soc,
My daughter and her child's BF have temp. orders and it's time to settle up the permanent orders for their 20 month-old. It's been a long, expensive legal battle. Now the BF has filed a motion for the appointment of a Child and Family Investigator, and this was ordered by the court. He was ordered to pay 75% of the cost, and doesn't like the CFI the court appointed.

This CFI is very expensive and is not able to begin work on the evaluation until the end of next month, which means it won't be possible for him to complete the evaluation within the court's 45 day allowance.

My daughter's attorney asked the BF's attorney to agree to an extension, but they refused. The BF wants another CFI of his choosing to be assigned.

What can my daughter's attorney do to keep the original CFI assignment?

What could the BF's attorney do to get the order changed?
 

Terrific advice. Thank you so much!

Dear Soc,
How do you recommend that I deal with what I believe are over-charges by my attorney? He recently brought in a new attorney to work on my case (without my permission), and I am being charged huge sums for her work. I like and trust my original attorney, and want to continue to have her represent me. What is the correct way to handle this?
Thank you

Does anyone ever get awarded attorney fees? My daughter has two expensive litigations going on. One is the usual parenting time/decision-making/child support issues with the BF. The other is an absolutely unnecessary quest by the paternal grandmother to get her own visits with the child (in addition to the father's visits which take place twice a week at her house.) The attorney filed a motion for attorney fees from the grandmother after she (gr.ma) lost her case, but the court denied them. Now she's appealing the court's decision, which will cost another $10,000. Any suggestions? Thanks.

Soc, can you tell me what a CFI investigation entails, what it costs and how long it takes. My daughter is 18 months old. Will the CFI come into my home and the home of the BF to observe us with her? Will our "history" be considered in the CFI recommendations for parenting time and decision-making? I've documented every visit from the BF since the baby's birth. Will the CFI look at this?
Thank you.