Messages

     Thank you guys (and girls) for responding. I was so afraid that I would get a bunch of homophobes, telling me it was probably my fault he was cheating on her or something.
     Well, I understand what you all are saying. And one of you said that internet sex and real sex are different. That maybe he never actually meant to go meet her. But I know he did. He REALLY wanted to go meet her. In one of them they were planning a date, wine, bubble bath. (Thank GOD he didn't get too far into that.) And now that I have all this information about him, it brings back all those memorys about how he would go out a lot all by himself for hours. When he got back he just say he wanted to get a breath of fresh air, but now I dont take what he says for granted as much. In one of the emails (from a different woman than the one he was planning a date with) he asked her what she took for payment for her "services" I dont think he actually went out and did it, but, from the looks of that email, he was going to. He may have thought on one of his "fresh air drives" I dont want to live with a person like that. I may have jumped the gun a bit, but I KNOW that I cant live with him.
     Some people might say the my being gay is wrong, but I dont think that. I do know however that cheating is wrong. Marriage is not something that you can just forget about for an hour or two so you can go out and have some fun. It's a long lasting commitment. And if my dad is sleeping with other women or just THINKING about sleeping with other women, then I refuse to live with him. (It's a whole morality thing)

Uh, ok here's the story. I am 15. In April on the 16th I will be 16. I have had my suspisions for a while. I didn't REALLY think my dad was doing this, but I thought maybe. I had suspisions because sometimes when it was late at night I'd go into the office where the computer was and my dad would jump in his seat and quickly click the close button on the window he was on or once he just clicked the computer off all together. Well, today he was on the computer and I told him that when he got done not to disconnect because I wanted to use it. He said ok. Well, an hour later he knocked on my door and I went to get on the computer. He was on some kind of weather website and I clicked the "back" button to get out of it. Well, it took me to his yahoo mail account. Lots of stuff there. Most from one woman, I read them and apparently he'd been talking to this woman for a while. In one of them he talked about how he had two children and was married and was looking for a relationship that actually worked. Needless to say that right now I am pissed. Becaue all this happened a few hours ago. Well, so now I know he's cheating on my step-mom. Who I love very much. A lot of the other email were like that one I just mentioned. A couple of others from different women that I guess he didn't hit it off with.
     Now... I know that the longer I allow this to go on the more hurt my step-mom will be, so I want to end it fast. But I know that they will divorce. I wont live with my dad. Not with a cheater. And while I love my step-mom very much (she's the sweetest person you'll ever meet) I know that I cant live with her either. Because you see, I'll never be able to be myself around her. I am gay. She AND my dad dont like gay people. (I now know how much of a hypocritacal bastard my dad is. he doens't talk about it a lot, but he thinks homosexuality is a sin and disgusting.) Well my step-mom agrees with this. Niether of them know about me of course.
     I cant go live with my real mom and her husband. I think the guy has problems and when I lived with them my mother was borderlining physical abuse. She's also a pathological liar, I came to live with my step-mom and dad to get away from them both.
     I have two aunts. One has three children and likes me as much as I like her. I like her as far as I can throw her. (She weighs 300lbs. You do the math)
     The other just had a new baby to go with the one she already has, and her husband is the dumbest man I know. I wouldn't feel safe with him either. I once saw him destroy a house looking for a possum that had gotten in with a pistol.
     So you see, I dont have anywhere to go and am looking towards emancipation. I really see it as the best way to go. I just need some help in how to go about it.