Messages

Ok. since you seem to be so combative, let me spell this out for you.

1. I have fought for my kids for the last 15yrs to no avail. In the state of indiana, unless you are blatantly abusing the children (which was not the case) the courts will always award custody to the mother. My children were 13 & 16 at the time.
2. She had my son removed from her home after she made repeated calls to the police and had him arrested. (for things like: throwing a sock at her (arrested for battery, placed on probation), hitting his sister with a rolled up newspaper (arrested for battery, probation violation), slamming a door (destruction of private property) and so on.

3. After realizing the severity of what she had done. Instead of taking the responsibility for her actions, she went for the sympathy vote and begun telling everyone in the system that i had been and abusive husband and father (even though there was never one shred of proof ) she used in her statement when asked how i was abusive she stated " he pushed me out of the way once and told me to shut up".

3. After 3yrs of fighting i finally had the juvenile prosecutor convinced on my side of the story and begun the process of getting custody. Next thing i know, that prosecutor up and quits, and a new one took his place, who was sympathetic to her.

4. As to where the other child was. My daughter stayed with her mother this whole time and stuck by her, even though she would call me crying and say that her mom called her a fat pig and that she was worthless. She chose to back her mom because her mom promised her a car.

5. There was alot of confusion in the court system and no one seemed to know what was going on about support. I admit that i may owe the county 700.00 and am willing to pay it to them upon proof. But i do not owe her any since he was not in her custody. her support has always been current. she even had to reimburse me 1200.00 that i had overpaid her.

6. I did speak up in the last hearing and explained to the judge that he could not award it to her since she did not have custody. But her attorney and the judge spoke behind closed doors and poof, it shows up in the order. (The new hearing will be under a different judge in a different courtroom).

7. And last but not least...The money is not ALL I'm worried about, but my children are 18 & 21 now and they chose the side that gives them the most freedom. I accept that but will not bow down and pay what is not due.
Not that i have to justify myself to anyone....All i was asking for was a simple clarification....i have since spoke to a colleague who is an attorney and found that they do not have the authority to award it to her



So

Thanks for the criticism...and very little else. Nice to know that someone will always judge you first.

Heres the story.

I was married and divorced in Shelby County, IN. I have 2 children for whom i was paying support to thru Shelby Co.

My ex moved to Grant County, IN. While she was living in that county, 1 of the children (my son) was taken away from her and made a ward of the state in Grant Co as a chins case.

we were ordered to pay support to Grant Co to reimburse them for care of that child.

I was still paying support for the other child thru Shelby Co.

When the child was finally returned to her custody, support to her for that child was put back into force in Shelby Co.

now to my question.

The last time we went to court in Shelby County Superior court, she told the court that i owed arrearage to grant county for the time my son was in their custody.
The judge ordered that i had to pay "her" that amout back instead of paying it back to Grant County.


1. Does Shelby Superior Court have the athority and jurisdiction to award money to her that is owed to another county?


2. If not, how might i correct this error?


thanks
Paul

I have a few questions, but here is some background.

I have a 20yr stepdaughter, she (barely)graduated highschool in june  2005.
she didn't signup for any collages untill Dec 22, 2005 (the day before we went to court to emancipate her).

Judge allowed her to continue recieving support bacause "she was living full time with her mother".

Also allowed a Educational support order, but she would have to pay $2000 a year herself and attend full time which is 12 credit hrs a semester.

Her tuition is $1400 a year.

Since then, Her first semester she only received  a total of 3 credit hrs  for 1 class and made an "F" in .
Second semester, she had to make up 15 credit hrs and will only receive 5 credit hrs.
She is only attending when she feels like it and the drops classes every few weeks.

She has told all her friends and posted on the web (myspace)(yearbook) and other sites, that she moved out of her mothers home and is now living with roomates.

My questions are:

1. Would her not living at home and failing at school, possibly be enough to emancipate her since she makes $9hr at work?

2. Could we use copies of her conversations on the web as evidence, or would the judge throw it out as heresay?

3. Any Ideas on how to prove shes not living at home? Because she will lie about it to keep support.


Any help is appreciated.
Thanks

Ok last question, since i have already been granted an order compelling her to produce document, and she ignored.  And i have since then sent her now attorney another request. which he is choosing to ignore.

1. Do i file another motion to compel with the court?

2. How many days do i have to give them to reply since i have already been granted the order the first time?

Well i have been all over http://www.in.gov/judiciary/ and can still find no answer to the question:

Can a support order be converted if the child is still a minor and has not been emancipated?

I have reviewed hundreds of cases and have yet to see a case where it was converted before the child has reached the age of majority. Indiana law is vague as to weather this can be done.

Child support guidelines and the worksheets only allow for a post-secondary order but that is included with regular child support, not seperate.

I am a NCP in IN and have 2 children, Son 16 & Daughter 19. Daughter graduated June 2005 & did not enroll in any secondary school.

I file a petition to emancipate in shelby county with hearing set for Dec 23, 2005, on Dec 22, 2005 daughter signed up at Ivy Tech for a 2yr AAS degree but was not legally enrolled due to tuition not being paid.

At that time i had sent the CP a request for production of documents for wage info, and enrollment info which she ignored. I then sent a second request, which she ignored.

Had the hearing, Judge denied emancipation on grounds that she lives at home.

I then filed a CS Mod petition, and a motion to compel production.

motion to compel was granted, and she had 10 days to comply. Hearing on CS mod was set for Feb 13, 2006.

She ignored the Order compelling her to give me the documents, I then filed a rule to show cause which court set to hear on feb 13th also.

In response to the Rule she hired her old attorney back and they filed for continuence which was granted and continued till March 21st, and a motion for an Educational Support Order.

But in the motion it is asking the court to "convert" the CSO for the daughter to an ESO, and to Mod the CSO for the son.

1. Can they convert the support order since she is not 21, and if so does that emancipate her.

2. Would it be better to object to the motion and try to keep her under the CSO.

Any help is appreciated

I really feel for you and every other step parent that has to go thru this kinda thing. I am in my 2nd marrage now for 8yrs. I have a SS 16 and a SD 19. the SS was just returned to the custody of his BM after being a C.H.I.N.S case and in the custody of the state for the last 4yrs. When he was 12 he had some behavorial problem at home..eg...he threw a sock at his BM (she called the cops and had him arrested for assault), he hit his sister on the arm with a rolled up paper (cops called again, arrested for assault..again). slammed his bedroom door (cops called, attested for distruction of private property)...the list goes on and on...in the court the probation office suggested that he come live with us..in return the BM told the counceler that DH was verbally and physically abusive to her and the kids because..and i quote " he told me to shut up, and he forced the kids to sit for time out"...well needless to say he no longer (by choice) sees either of his kids, sad for the kids but at lease she cannot put them in the middle any more. He is just discusted with the whole thing and pretty much fed up. BM called the house once and i answered the phone and she started getting mouthy, and i told her that if she could not call "My" home and be respectful to "Me", don't bother calling again, and write it in a letter and i hung up on her. That was the last time she called, after that the kids called.

But what really irk's me the most is that 85% of the time the step-parent is the one dealing with the children regularly..BUT then the CP, the courts and the government have the nerve to say that we have no say and that it does not concern us..What a load of crap!

The last time we were in court and i spoke up, the judge said that i couldn't make a statement because "I was not involved in this matter, I was just a bystander" Well to that i replied "Bet you would think I was involved If i were to beat their asses". To that he had no reply...


I have 2 sons of my own 21, 9. My ex and i get along better now than when we were married. I have my 9yr from 5am to 5pm every day and the weekends and holidays we discuss. There is absolutely no arguing. He has his life I have mine. It took alot of communication between us at the beginning of the divorce to decide how not to behave so that we did not screw up our kids. Our problems are not theirs.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if they all worked this way?
Alot of parents just see the kids as a way to get back at the other parent instead of just telling them to their face and getting rid of all the hostility.. (sigh) can't see it changing any time soon.

Now my advice is:
Your first responsibility is to "your" children and that you and your hubby sit down and decide what is the best solution for the 2 of you and "His" children. wether that means not seeing them until their old enough to have a say in the matter, or him just excercise visitation when "he" will be home to take care of them. And "do not" under any circumstances let the BM speak to you or treat you in any disrespectful manner no matter what steps you have to take, and your hubby should back you up on that one. Visitation is not enforceable by law..If buying school clothes or other items arn't in the divorce decree, don't buy them.  Don't be a free babysitter...don't make her life easier by making yours harder. Remember, the courts do not care, as long as the kids are being paid for.
Good luck & best wishes