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thank you so much for your reply, I appreciate hearing from other people who have had similar situations to know that they have done something and hopefully there is a solution available.  We are sort of at a stand still right now, he has agreed to stop smoking until he moves out on his own, I guess that is a start and we will continue to take things one day at a time. Thanks again for your reply.

I have a son who will be 17 this friday and for the past two years has definately been on a downward spiral.  He is smoking pot, he is skipping school, his grades have dropped dramatically and he doesn't care about anyone except himself.  He states that nobody can tell him what to do, he can do what he wants.  he doesn't care what anybody thinks of him or his actions.  He breaks all the household rules and has no regard for anyone else.  HELP me figure out what I should be doing.  We are on the verge of kicking him out.  We are currently going thru a drug and alchohol assesment program and have our final meeting next week.
I would appreciate any advice you may have to share.
Thank you