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I think it's just one of those things that sucks. In TX, the NCP also pays for 100% of the monthly insurance premium. Not a big deal in our case, but one has to wonder why that monthly premium isn't split between the two parents.

As far as the life insurance goes, it's kinda hard to mix two issues together, but when she goes back for more CS, I would PRESS your attorney to consider counter-filing on her contempt of not getting the required life insurance. BTW, does the decree mention having to submit proof to each other of said policy every year? Dh's decree does and I suggest it for you since she's being so shady about the whole thing.

As far as CS modification goes, try to read up about what is required for a change in CS. In TX, you have to wait 3 years AND a difference of $100/month. OR there has to be a major change in circumstance for the CP. What does IL family law say?

When your BF comes back from duty, how quickly does CS get reduced and is it retroactive to the filing date?

If the ex is playing by the rules and will always be quick to ask for more money when your BF is on tour, then go ahead and always assume that a certain percentage of his pay will be for her.

here's the TX family code:

http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/fatoc.html

Anything you want to know is there.

I'm looking for anyone who has heard of or experienced automatic stair step increases of CS.

Short history:
DH started a business in Nov 04 while maintaining his FT IT job. He was unexpectedly laid off due to the SBC/ATT merger in May 05. He filed for a decrease immediately. He worked his business FT while looking for contract work in the IT field. Because he is self-employed, the CS proceedings are moving at a snail's pace. He paid the full amount of child support for 6 months. Once his money ran out and he started bouncing bills, he unilaterally cut back his child support to be in line with his new salary; therefore, putting himself in contempt. However, given the judge's discretion of making the new CS retroactive, DH has actually overpaid, but that won't be formally decided until we either settle or go to trial. Until then, he's technically in contempt.

DH was deposed last week by BM's lawyer and did SO WELL that BM's lawyer has instructed BM to settle because there is very little chance that a judge will maintain the high CS; if she continues to fight, her lawyer fees will eat any type of decent amount of CS she might get. Our lawyer instructed us to think of an adequate settlement as well. We are seriously considering writing in an automatic increase of CS over the next 3-4 years that will give DH the temporary relief from the full amount that he was originally ordered to pay and allow BM yearly increases of CS instead of having to wait every 3 years.

So, I'm looking far and wide for anyone who has ever done this type of automatic increase. I need something that is high enough to be acceptable for BM, yet low enough that we don't get ourselves stuck with something we can't pay if the business doesn't continue with its forward momentum.

This requires some out-of-the-box thinking, so ideas are appreciated.

Thanks.

Welcome to the wonderful world of the self-employed. There is nothing worse than dealing with CS and being self-employed.

DH is self-employed. He makes a small salary b/c like you, he reinvests a majority of his sales back into the business in the form of paying off his inital start up debt.

Here's the problem with being self-employed and your business expenses... Just b/c the IRS says it's a business expense, or a deduction, or depreciation, etc, doesn't mean it's valid for determining child support. Your ex can take you back to court for a re-calculation of child support and you will be forced to submit very detailed business reports, preferrably done by a CPA, that document any type of expense, deduction, or depreciation you have. Then, the court will decide if it's valid or not valid for the purpose of calculating CS.

What state are you in? It sounds just like TX, where we are. Even though TX normally doesn't care about expenses, in this case, DH was forced to submit his entire business financials and he has to account for every dime that he's spent or deposited. It's been a true nightmare.

The law isn't quite as black and white as the 20% rule. There is a part in the family code (for TX) that CLEARLY says that the court can deviate from the normal calculation if they see fit. Basically, they can make you pay whatever they want, especially if you used to make a certain amount of money and now aren't. They can make you pay CS on your previous earning potential which will basically ruin you financially.

My advice, don't be self-employed. You will cause yourself a ton of headache. What's worse is that many courts look at the self-employed as child support evaders b/c unfortunately, there have been too many cases of people hiding money in their business, paying themselves under the table, etc, just to avoid child support. They've ruined it for the honest people.

the state is TX

I've asked this of 2 different lawyers and gotten 2 diff answers and can't find anything in the TX family code that references 2nd jobs...

NCP (me) gets a 2nd job. Doesn't tell CP. The 2nd job means a significant increase in my income.

CP retains an attorney (vs going through the AG) and files for CS mod. CP finds out about 2nd job.

Questions:

1) Can the CP request that the CS modification be effective of when the 2nd job started and NOT the original CS mod date, therefore automatically causing a significant arrearage?

2) Can the judge decide for him/herself to make the CS modification effective the date of the 2nd job, therefore automatically causing a significant arrearage?

3) is there ANY scenario where the CP can receive any type of arrearage or back payment since the NCP didn't report the 2nd job?

the state is TX

I've asked this of 2 different lawyers and gotten 2 diff answers and can't find anything in the TX family code that references 2nd jobs...

NCP (me) gets a 2nd job. Doesn't tell CP. The 2nd job means a significant increase in my income.

CP retains an attorney (vs going through the AG) and files for CS mod. CP finds out about 2nd job.

Questions:

1) Can the CP request that the CS modification be effective of when the 2nd job started and NOT the original CS mod date, therefore automatically causing a significant arrearage?

2) Can the judge decide for him/herself to make the CS modification effective the date of the 2nd job, therefore automatically causing a significant arrearage?

3) is there ANY scenario where the CP can receive any type of arrearage or back payment since the NCP didn't report the 2nd job?

try to find someone to loan you the money. family, friends, girlfriend, etc.

GOOD LUCK! Take a good book, a few CDs, some snacks/drinks, and maybe a portable DVD player and try to make it as fun as possible.

just wanted to add that I had to hang out in my car when my ex tried to avoid getting served. I hung out in my car, found out what kind of car he drove, followed him to work, figured out where he normally parked, and hired a guy to officially serve him. We set a date and both hung out in the dude's truck and waited for my ex to exit the building. Guy went up to him, said his name, ex replied yes, and the guy served him. Took about 30 minutes of his time and about 3 hours total of my time.

I did all the legwork to save on money. It's a pain, but it's worth it.

yes, DH has joint legal (that's what they call it in TX), so he has the authority to give me access.

thanks!