Messages

THANK YOU.

That advice makes sense.  Thanks.

I understand that, and it makes sense.  But we are doing this as a favor to Mom, and so the kids won't be in child care (or home alone after school, another threat that Mom has made if we don't help.)  I agree that this is just a part of parenting... so when does MOM have to step up and be a parent?  Why must DAD foot every single cost of parenting and Mom gets to ride free??!?

We really need the money.  

Here's the scenario:

Visitation is 50/50.  Mom (ex wife)  is supposedly looking for a job.  She will need childcare on her time (we do not need childcare on our week due to our unique work schedule).  We have agreed to keep the kids for her every afternoon on her parenting time.

When filling out information on the child support calculator, it has a spot for "child care expenses".  It appears that if Mom incurs expenses for child care, Dad reimburses her for half.  But Mom will not be incurring any child care expenses, because Dad and SM are keeping the kids every afternoon for her.  *BUT* Dad and SM will be incurring expenses to do this:  gas money, snacks, dinner every night, etc.  Is Mom not responsible for some sort of reimbursement?

If not... why should Mom get reimbursed if SHE pays for childcare, but if Dad agrees to keep the kids for her, thus aleviating that expense for Mom, why doesn't Mom have to help Dad with the expenses HE incurs?  Or does she?  (I'm just assuming she doesn't because that's the way the cookie seems to crumble for Dads)

Yes, there is an interest in modifiying support.  My husband (of three years, not boyfriend)  has 50/50 parenting time, but when the visitation was established (along with the child support) TN only used the non-custodial parents income.  Now TN is an Income Shares state, but since Mom's income is still zero, his child support does not change.  He is actually still paying exactly what he should be, according to the state child support calculator.  When we have used the average salary for women in our state (27k I think) in the CS calculator, his support drops from $730/month to $12 a month.  

The state sent them both a letter saying that when a party receiving child support is on welfare (as she is) they have the right to reveiw support at any time.  Thats fine and all, but if they don't IMPUTE an income to her, it's not going to change one bit.  

My husband has paid the child support on time since the day she kicked him out.  Never been late (except once, it was one day late, because the mail hadn't run for Regan's funeral).  She flipped a lid over that one.  She has gone to college full time for the past 5 years, and he's always gotten the kids extra.  For 2006 he had the kids MORE than 50% of the year, because she was focusing on school and asked him to get them extra each week.  

Now she is graduated, and instead of finding a job, she went and applied for welfare.  I'm NOT trying to take away anything from the kids, trust me.  We are just drowning on our end, trying to make ends meet, because over 41% of his salary is going to her, and it's hard to keep afloat with what's left over, when we have a mortgage and are caring for the kids half the year on what is left over.  Anyway, sorry to ramble...

I just feel like we have one shot at this, we have been patient for a very long time.  Never pushed her to get a job, never threatened to reduce support, because we wanted her to finish school so she could support herself.  And now she's done... and she's not supporting herself.  Once she even offered to let my husband have the kids nearly full time *IF* he signed a statement saying he would never stop paying child support or try to get it reduced.  This is the mindset we are dealing with.

Thanks for listening.

Because this person does not have a job history.  She went to school after the divorce instead of getting a job, and now, six years later, she is "educated" and instead of finding a job, has applied for (and is receiving) welfare.  She is going on interviews but not accepting any offers.  For the past six years she has lived off of child support and gov't assistance.  Just wondering how long she can ride the system?

What is a reasonable amount of time to give someone to find a job before requesting an income be imputed to them?