Messages

>>>3. Was this agreement entered into after the date that
>your
>>>divorce action was first filed but before final judgment of
>>>dissolution? it wasn't entered as she waited to file the
>>divorce until I was deployed and din't add this agreement
>>knowing it would not be as easy to enforce - we had it
>entered
>>in a small claims case she brought against me, but are still
>>trying to work it into the custody/support trial -need
>>grounds
>
>The agreement is unlawful because it purports to limit the
>child's right to future support in return for present
>consideration. Because, parties to a contract cannot agree to
>an unlawful purpose, you can ask a court that the contract be
>rescinded and both parties consideration returned.
>
>In this case, that would be your entire interest in the home.
>Even if she has sold the home, you are entitled to a judgment
>for the fair market value that she received as part of the
>transaction.
>
>Any good civil attorney should be willing to take this case on
>a contingency, because you are attempting to recover a very
>substantial amount of property, and you have been injured via
>an illegal contract.
>
>The only issue that I do not understand is your comment about
>the small claims case. What does that have to do with this
>contract? If you owed her a substantial sum of money for some
>other reason, then that value could have been the subject of
>your agreement. But, since the maximum small claims action is
>$5K, the contract is still absurd. $5K for $600K is an
>unconscionable/shockingly unfair deal, and I cannot conceive
>of any California judge ordering it -- so, I assume that no
>judge did.  SAhe brought it up in a small claims case against me as she sued me for a refrigerator that was also in the agreement (long story )
>
>I'm not sure what emotions were operating to allow your doing
>the deal that you did, but you need to get rid of them. You
>didn't get your ass handed to you. You appear to have simply
>sliced it off, yourself, and made a sandwich for your
>opponent.  The eemotions that were operating were:1) I wanted the best for my son, 2)she seemed to be more acceptable to visitation with the more money I sent her and the more she percieved she was getting, as the money decreased ,her refusal to let me see my son increased. IT is almost liek I had to bribe her with extra money to let me see my son. 3)the "deal" was entered while I was overseas--she made alot of changes to the divorce paperwork while I was gone but of course I had no proof -I gave her everything she asked for as long as she'd let me see my son, now that she cannot get more money out of me, she is holding my son from seeing me. She makes 4200$ a month and lives with avery wealthy man now, so I know my son has everything he possibly wants in the materialist sense, but she won't allow him to receive the love of his father.
thanks for the insight

>>>4. You had a _written____ (state whether written or oral)
>>agreement
>>>whereby you bargained to exchange your interests in a home
>>>with a fair market value of $750,000, and net equitable
>>value
>>>of $ ___699000___, for a lower child support payment. this
>is
>>what she drafted in the agreement- she also emptied the
>house
>>of all my vauables and furniture while I was deployed in
>2002
>
>I see. Your ex drafted an agreement under which you exchanged
>your interest in $600,000 of California real property equity
>for her agreement to lower your future child support payments
>to $300 per month? yes
>
>1. Did your attorney give you any advice as to this agreement
>before you signed it? I had no attorney - ergo I had my ass handed to me as you say
>
>2. Do you still have a copy of this agreement, and does it
>display your ex's signature as well as the essential terms and
>conditions (i.e., you quitclaim your interest in the home for
>her agreement to lower future child support to $300 per
>month)? yes, she drafted it and we both signed it
>
>3. Was this agreement entered into after the date that your
>divorce action was first filed but before final judgment of
>dissolution? it wasn't entered as she waited to file the divorce until I was deployed and din't add this agreement knowing it would not be as easy to enforce - we had it entered in a small claims case she brought against me, but are still trying to work it into the custody/support trial -need grounds
>
>4. Did you contribute any money acquired prior to your
>marriage towards the purchase of this home, or any money
>acquired after marriage, by gift or inheritance? If yes, then
>how much? I paid 100% of the home until I vacated it in 5-05
>
>5. Did your ex do similarly? If yes, then how much? she paid NOTHING!

>Let me see if I have the facts straight (correct me where I
>misunderstand -- BE BRIEF): Thank you for listening and I am sorry if you misunderstood - there is 4 years of trying to get her to comply with orders in visitation - she is using the military against me.
>
>1. There is a stipulated no contact order which, among other
>things, suspends all of your parenting rights.. Sorry-you're wrong- the no contact order is for her to not contact us, not the other way around. I did this in lieu of prosecuting her for DV out of the best interset of R
>
>2. The court has ordered mediation, and you allege that the
>other parent is stalling so as to frustrate access to the
>child. we went to mediation and she wouldn't agree to anything and left
I asked for SPECIFICS so she could not continue with her making R unavailable at requested times. The order reads: "With the petitioner's PERMISSION"......I wanted it changed to "NOTIFY" as there is no geting her permission. for example on July 26th, R said "let me ask mom if I can spend the night 'cuz I know she'll tell you 'no'"
>
>3. You have emails from your son dated as recently as 1-20-06____
>(date please), stating unequivocally that he wants to see
>you. then she alleges he doen't have a computer - we just sent him a SPARC calling card in his birthday card - IF she lets him get his mail.
>
>4. You had a _written____ (state whether written or oral) agreement
>whereby you bargained to exchange your interests in a home
>with a fair market value of $750,000, and net equitable value
>of $ ___699000___, for a lower child support payment. this is what she drafted in the agreement- she also emptied the house of all my vauables and furniture while I was deployed in 2002
>
>Requests:
>
>1. Please post the EXACT text of the order regarding the
>suspension of your parenting rights, the text ordering
>mediation, and the text of any other temporary order that
>expresses or implies that either of the parants must
>accomplish something in particular prior to returning to
>court. Make certain that you include the date that the orders
>were entered.           there is no order suspending my rights.
>
>I need to know what the court currently expects from each of
>you. the court wants her to sign teh new agreement which states specific dates and times of visitation as she has made him unavailable during requested times - I was deployed on my years of holidays 2 years in a row and she wouldn't allow a change to even years in exchange for my deployed years
>
>2. You're reading a little less angry, but you're still
>venting. It doesn't help me to know that you "allowed"
>something to be dismissed with prejudice. All it does is
>demonstrate that you are trying to show that you are in the
>right and she is in the wrong.  trying to be brief here
The attorney that I had made a deal with her attorney at the hearing of my DV case against her as I didn't want to inflame the issue with her as I want this in the best interest of my child - didn't want her arrested.
>
>Unfortunately, family law is generally not about right or
>wrong. It's about the child's best interests and NOTHING ELSE.
>Until you recognize this, you will continue to get your ass
>handed to you. The person who gets favorable rulings in family
>court is usually the person who convinces the judge that the
>only consideration is what's best for the child, and that all
>personal interests are meaningless by comparison. She is trying to keep R from me and definitely NOT thinking in R's best interest - it's all about her- to me and to R- his best interest is to see me when ordered.
>
>This is because it will cause the other parent's hostility and
>vindictiveness to become the focus of the court, rather than
>yours. This doesn't guarantee you a win, but it guarantees
>that the judge will not be looking at you suspiciously,
>because, if you argue your case as if you have nothing to
>gain, and are only interested in what's good for the child,
>then the court can't weigh your personal motives, because you
>aren't offering any. thank you for seeing her vindictiveness - it's a lot worse than you know.
>
>Conversely, the court CAN weigh the other parent's person
>motives, and if they come up bad, then that weighs in your
>favor.
>
>So, cut the venting. You made mistakes and so did the other
>parent. The first mistake was unzipping your pants. Get over
>it. We ALL make this mistake at least once during our lives. R is not a mistake I love him with all my heart - the mistake was choosing the mother unfortunately.
hope this helps a little

>>>2. how do I supeona my son's school and medical records?
>>
>>You must file a motion for contempt or for
>>clarification/enforcement before you can subpoena anything.
>>
>>can you tell me what paperwork I need to file the motion?
>
>No, not until I know the exact status of your case and what
>actions are currently pending.
current actions are -a pending custody agreement- I'd like to go to mediation asap, she disagrees
>

>
>"Emails are very difficult to authenticate, unless the
>originals remain on some commercial server, like in a
>yahoo.com inbox or sent folder, where the profferror cannot
>manipulate them. So, if your emails are saved on such a
>commercial server, then they may be useful. Otherwise, they're
>probably not admissible as evidence unless the other party
>admits under oath to having written or received them."


 
I do have all the emails to and from her printed as they are received so can be authenticated - I've already submitted some that are much worse than this to the court and they were accepted. I can see why you say I am angry as you don't know me - that's the problem - you are right - the opponent IS a bright woman and able to lie with ease and seem to be truthful. THe email I sent you was more untruths than truths - much hostility and BS but she sounds good!
>So, now, if you want to continue then:
>
>1. What are your current custody/visitation orders? Divorce was filed 12-01 while I was in the Gulf
 - the original in the divorce is every other year holidays and every summer for 2 weeks plus any time with notice - they are suspended as she won't agree to a new one that we had gone to court to establish - she walked out on mediation -she is stalling. While I was deployed, she moved and I was unable to find her until she called for money and I got her number on caller ID and got her address
>
>2. Are these orders permanent or temporary? they were supposed to be permanent as soon as she signs them and returns the form to court
>
>3. What are your current child support orders? $1300 per month
>
>4. Are these orders permanent or temporary? perm
>
>5. You say you are current with CS. Your ex states that you
>are in arrears. Is there a judgment for arrears?  
No judgement for arrears - I am current and she doesn't agree with the allotment she receives every month, so tells her lawyer "he didn't send the check again" he didn't pay" - I"ve been to court twice for false "contempt" charges - I had to bring proof of my allotments- both were dismissed
>
>If so, when will you be able to pay it in full? done- we had the order placed in October for a start date in Aug 2005, so needed to catch up (we had an agreement for lower child support outside the divorce decree in which I quit claimed her a $750,000 house in exchange for $300/mo support.) I also paid her cell phone, car insurance, mortgage, homeowner insurance, homeowners taxes, and sent an extra 350 for "incidentals" for my son
>
>6. When was the last date that you exercised
>custody/visitation with your son? July 05 - she has prevented me from contact with him since - that's when she filed a false DV charge against me- dismissed in court. She actually hit me and I allowed the case to be "dismissed WITH predjudice" as long as she signed a no contact order which established the email communications order.
>
>That should do it for starters.
>
>PS. Your anger continues to pervade your writing. You must
>stop, or you will get nowhere in court. Judges and evaluators
>look for the very behavior that you are exhibiting and it
>immediately signals trouble. You must be calm in the face of
>adversity or you will lose. The court must view you as a
>parent who is solely interested in his child's best interests,
>even if those interests are not your interests.
>
>When you can make that sort of showing, you will be in a
>position to receive a favorable court ruling. Until then, you
>shouldn't go near a judge, because you will get your ass
>handed to you, and you won't understand why.

The frustration with my ex is obvious, that's why I am looking for help so I can go to court and get the visitation both my son and I want. Every time my son sneaks me an email he wants to see my wife and I - and we want to see him. I wanted to do this without deposing my son, but looks like we may have to go that route.

>2. how do I supeona my son's school and medical records?

You must file a motion for contempt or for clarification/enforcement before you can subpoena anything.

can you tell me what paperwork I need to file the motion?

Consolidate all of your evidence and then either post what you have here or scrape together the dough to have an attorney help you.

some info:
1. I pay 1300 child support through an allotment which is current
2. I have a good relationship wih "C" and just had her my graddaughter here for a visit.
3. I have 26 emails to her printed that were not returned.
4. I tried to change the custody agreement from "with mother's permission" to "notify" mother" as she won't agree to anything.
5. and you say *I* am raging?? I didn't think I was, I am only frustrated by THIS raging and complete untruths!
here's the latest email to and from her to give you the flavor of the case I need to file:
Y,
I've been trying very hard to reach you and Ryan. I am STILL waiting to hear from him. I need to know what he wants for his birthday. Please let him call me. I'll make sure I am available from 6 to 7pm every night at 760-***-****. It's very important to me to communicate with R and it seems you are ignoring all my emails. Please respond to this and update me with your new email account if it isn't included above. I've tried every email that you've ever written to me from and you still aren't writing back. We got that court order down here that we need to communicate by email. Please respect that! You haven't allowed Ryan to call me since I saw him in July and I really miss him.
thanks!

*her response*


You have never emailed me nor have I ever received an email from you.  R tried calling you the day my lawyer said to call.  No one answered.  As for your court order down there, there will be no emailing to each other since I no longer have email/computer nor does R.  You have continuously lied in court about anything you can get away with and my parents do not want their email to be used for any purpose by you.  They think your behavior is outrageous and your lies makes us all sick.  My next court order will be to get you to stop emailing them.  You have no business with them and they, like myself, wish only to deal through the attorney and the court system.  After all, I had filed the domestic violence order against you and you just did it back to play your usual cat and mouse game.  My family does not trust you which should not be a surprise over the last many years.  
 
You have still not paid the back ordered support nor have you provided my attorney with any proof that you have paid me aside from what you have given.  You have lied about the fake money order that was cashed.  You also lied about the car payments and said I was pocketing the money as well.  I have proof that they went to the bank and it was credited to the car and not pocketed by me (except for Jan and Feb it is a simple math equation.  You paid the car off after I made the payment in December.  Not too hard for anyone with a brain for math to figure out).  Another smoke screen tactic by you. You continuously play the game and try to get out of your responsibilities just like you have always done.  This is all you method of operation and tactics to get away with anything.  Unfortunately, we still have many, many more court hearings to go to on this issue.  The judge has ordered you pay it and you still have not so it is on to the next hearing and you will have no proof, just lies unless you believe your own lies that you have come up with.  Law says you have to provide proof and you won't be able to because I have bank statements for court.  By not paying the court ordered arrearages, you only hurt Ryan since that money goes to him.
 
I am still in the process of supeona (ing) for information from the many psychologists in O that R went to.  They will provide me with clear documentation about you for the next several hearings.  Unfortunately, this will cost you several thousand dollars out of your pocket for the next several hearings we will be going through in court.  We are both requred to pay for the investigations and are very costly but this does not discourage me.  
There is a trail of documentation from several psychologists R was seeing and I will be bringing it to court with me.  I have been doing alot of research with C insurance and they have been great in getting me in contact with all the physicians as well as the ones at the Naval Hospital C P.  Everyone has taken great records.  You'll see when I present them.
 
Since you have hand penciled the custody agreement and changed it above and beyond what you and I have already agreed upon, I am moving toward the next step in going back to court.  
I do believe that you really think that you are above anything and just get delight in getting away with anything you can.  I am sure wife number three is enamoured with all of your exciting "stories" but  you have forgotten, I am one of two EX wives that have had to take you to court for back ordered support and wage garnishment.  I have already heard the stories about wife number 1 so you can say whatever you want about me to make yourself look good like you always do but for you, history just repeats itself again and again.  I (and family and friends) still can't get over that you gave up the twins for adoption (and never, ever had an interest as to what happened to them) and allowed C to grow up in the foster care system.  You just never had anything nice to say about your own children, family or me.  It was always about what you could get away with.  I look back and see that this is all about the "game".  I have always coined it "psychological warfare".  You must think you are a master at it by now.  Unfortunately you have picked the wrong EX wife to do this to.  It is too bad that your first wife did not have the resources to go after you because I sure do and I will not sit back and let history repeat itself like your prior children have gone through.  I have never known you to be "attached" to any children except yourself.  You have always been cold and indifferent to Ryan since he was born. C has shared similar feelings as well.  But that does not bother you one bit as you always told me.  You always called her the kid that "begs for handouts".  I was the only one close to her as were my parents.  She was a major inconvenience to you and you did not want to give her the time of day.  In fact, when I look back, you never, ever said anything nice about her. You just have that way about making people out to be the bad guys.  I always thought it was an egotistical need for you to make yourself feel better that everyone else.  I would even bet big money on how you have painted me to your 3rd wife and family.  I really woudn't expect anything else from you.  After all, I have spent the most time with you and I know you inside and out and all your dirty little secrets.  That's why you don't want me to say anything to your Command.  They may know the real truth about you just like the rest of us.  
 
And as for your bizzare comments in the courtroom as to me being upset about you getting married again, well, I find that very amusing and flattered that you think that there is some sort of jealousy thing going on because it just truly confirms to me and my family that you are so out of touch with reality.  Have you forgotten, I left you and never looked back.  No regrets and no sad feelings and I just moved on for some very, very compelling reasons.  I have to laugh because we all comment on how the third (3rd) EX wife will deal with you.  We have a good laugh about how her family had to pay to get you out of debt and financial problems.  They are just as much suckers like my parents were to always pay to get you out of your financial messes.  You seem to find the money tree and work it well.  This goes down in my book as the "Number One Con Man".   I have seen you operate this con with other people and strangers and am just amazed how you work the same angle with family.  It is quite remarkable.  After all, you are the amazing man with (3) three wives, and (2) estranged children.  C even gave me an email for court saying that she never really knew you.  Well, I have to say, neither did I or R for that matter.  He doesn't even know your married.  I find this so remarkable but we all accept this as a fact of the mysteries of life you have embroiled us all in . . total deception and con.  R can certainly do the math . . . 1, 2, 3 wives.  As a teenager, this is very interesting information.  I am sure you will have a most wonderful explanation for him as well as where his missing half brothers are.  I will let you have the pleasure of telling him the F  family legacies so he will know where he came from and where everyone wound up and how many half siblings there are.  I know my family has still not recovered from the children of Bruce Fanshaw stories.  We are still perplexed about the sagas to this day.
 
I just hope that you haven't had an epiphany and think that my pursuit of you through the courts is even close to being over.  We will soon find out what the skeletons in the closet you have so cleverly hidden for so many years . .  your pattern of life speaks volumes and it think it is like a steer brand that will stick with you forever.  I have never known you to be a man of honesty, a soldier of honor and a family man.  You have escaped these important virtues in life and still walk around today with the same arrogant and self absorbed persona you have always had.  I am surprised that your life has not caught up with you yet.  Karma will however. catch up with you soon.  My family and friends always say that you are lucky you have the military uniform because you have nothing else in life to show for and that is the only thing that you can show off to people who don't know the real you.  You present an impressive con package but we all know the truth.
 
As for talking with each other, I wish only to discuss things with you through the attorney and since there is not custody agreement in place until you sign a clean copy and not a penciled up copy altered from the original agreement, R cannot go anywhere unless it is filed with the court.  There is also the matter of domestic violence.  I still want the police involved and will have to make sure my safety as well as Ryan's is protected. I will still want to meet at a police station and not in a place where I do not feel safe with you.  I and my parents have seen too many times your explosive behavior when you don't get what you want and this time I will need protection from you.  This is why I will only go through lawyers.  It is my best protection.
 
You may still use this email one more time to let me know when the arrearages are coming to save yourself more court hearings.  As for trying to get in touch with R, nothing has changed, we still live in the same place.  As usual, you have just forgotten birthdays and Christmas for the few years.  I would not expect anything else from you.  You never, ever remembered Christina either.  It was something my family and I did because you, would never, out of the kindness of your own heart, do.  My honorable family always filled in the gaps for things that you should have done yourself as a man and a father.  Things don't ever change.  
 
If you need an idea since you think that is the problem, R's laptop is broken and it will take $400.00 to fix.  He no longer has a computer.  You can send him that directly to him, made out to him, not me, for his "belated" as always, Christmas gift.  He has begged me for months and I don't have that kind of money since I pay for lawyers to get the child support.  
 
Let me know about the back child support.  You are severly behind.  Did you just want to go back to court for this?  You have already been ordered to pay by the judge, I will be filing an new contempt motion this month.  

Socrateaser, I entered this post in the visitation section and was referred to you for your guidance....
here's the short version of my troubles
I have an ex that is preventing me from seeing my 14 year old son and REFUSES to even let me talk to him on the phone. I live in Southern Califonia and she is in Northern Ca.
We have a mutual "no contact order" as she has harassed me at my job and threatened me at home-with lawsuits and ruining my career, (I am in the military and she's already filed false allegations with my unit- all dropped, but she is threatening me with more), etc.
SHe has taken me to court 5 times and each time she has lost!!!! How can I get the court to realize she is ABUSING the system?? I also can't even find out where my son goes to school. she moved with him 9 hours away, so "dropping in" is out of the question since she threatens to call the police and falsely accuse me of DV ( she has already filed a false report and had it thrown out).
I need the following FAST and need help finding the assistance. She is getting so much child support that I am unable to hire an attorney. She claims my son is "special needs" and is on medications but refuses to give me any info. (I have my son insured through DEERS and there is NO record of her taking him to the doctor).
She has been out to ruin my life since she found out I was remarried. She refuses to abide by a Court order we got that we need to communicate via email. She is demanding that I send her $400 to fix her computer before she will reply! I am so disappointed. She has alienated my son from his paternal family and 1/2 sister out of anger at me - she is very vindictive!
here's the most important info I need :
1. a LOW cost attorney (in California)
2. how do I supeona my son's school and medical records?
3. How can I get her to conform to a COURT order!
4. HOW DO I SEE my son???
I just purchased and mailed a SPARC calling card to my son, but don't know how to get it past his mother
please help!
thanks! B

PS - all attempts in contact result in threats of restraining orders! I've emailed many times to ask for my son to call me (collect) and when she DOES reply, it has NOTHING to do with my son, but 3 page psychotic RAMPAGES of lies and threats! this ex is very vindictive, spiteful and in need of a psych eval. she keeps saying that I never try to contact my son. I have close to 100 emails that beg to differ and phone records prior to the email order. SHe is preventing my son form any communication - the last email I got from him, he said he had to HACK into his email account to reply to me!
we have had a visitation order in the divorce decree that has orders of visitation, but she hasn't complied to it. SHe had an attorney and filed everything while I was overseas and so the wording was very much in her favor!!!! PLEASE HELP

I have an ex that is preventing me from seeing my san and REFUSES to even let me talk to him on the phone. We have a mutual "no contact order" as she has harassed me at my job and threatened me at home-with lawsuits and ruining my career,  (I am in the military and she's already filed false allegations with my unit- all dropped, but she is threatening me with more), etc.  SHe has taken me to court 5 times and each time has lost!!!! How can I get the court to realize she is ABUSING the system?? I also can't even find out where my son goes to school. she moved with him 9 hours away, so "dropping in" is out of the question since she threatens to call the police and falsely accuse me of DV ( she has already filed a false report and had it thrown out). I need the following FAST and need help finding the assistance. She is getting so much child support that I am unable to hire an attorney. She claims my son is "special needs" and is on medications but refuses to give me any info. (I have my son insured through DEERS and there is NO record of her taking him to the doctor). She has been out to ruin my life since she found out I was remarried. She refuses to abide by a Court order we got that we need to communicate via email. She is demanding that I send her $400 to fix her computer before she will reply! I am so disappointed. She has alienated my son from his paternal family and 1/2 sister out of anger at me - she is very vindictive!
here's the most important info I need :
1. a LOW cost attorney (in California)
2. how do I supeona my son's school and medical records?
3. How can I get her to conform to a COURT order!
4. HOW DO I SEE my son???
I just purchased and mailed a SPARC calling card to my son, but don't know how to get it past his mother
please help!
thanks! B

PS - all attempts in contact result in threats of restraining orders!  I've emailed many times to ask for my son to call me (collect) and when she DOES reply, it has NOTHING to do with my son, but 3 page psychotic RAMPAGES of lies and threats! this ex is very vindictive, spiteful and in need of a psych eval. she keeps saying that I never try to contact my son. I have close to 100 emails that beg to differ and phone records prior to the email order. SHe is preventing my son form any communication - the last email I got from him, he said he had to AHCK into his email account to reply to me!
we have had a visitation order in the divorce decree that has orders of visitation, but she hasn't complied to it. SHe had an attorney and filed everything while I was overseas and so the wording was very much in her favor!!!! PLEASE HELP