Hi,
Just a thought here, but have you considered approaching this from another angle? If you are paying the grandparents directly for the child care, you really should get their SS# so that you can report the child care expense on your 1040. This will of course require the GPs to report the money received as income, and possibly pay taxes on it. If you casually start to request this info then the GPs might not want to deal with this and tell the mother they can't do it anymore. Make the request as non-antagonizing as possible, but let them know that you will be needing their SS# before you can make any more payments to them. Worst case is that the BM files contempt charges on you, but those would not stick if you set the money aside and convey a willingness to pay all monies due as soon as they provide you with the information that they need to provide you. Or continue to pay, but let them know that you will be providing the IRS with all the info on them that you do have.
And the bonus to this is that you do not have to deal with the BM since it is really none of her concern. It is between you and the child care providers.
Other thoughts out there?
Just a thought here, but have you considered approaching this from another angle? If you are paying the grandparents directly for the child care, you really should get their SS# so that you can report the child care expense on your 1040. This will of course require the GPs to report the money received as income, and possibly pay taxes on it. If you casually start to request this info then the GPs might not want to deal with this and tell the mother they can't do it anymore. Make the request as non-antagonizing as possible, but let them know that you will be needing their SS# before you can make any more payments to them. Worst case is that the BM files contempt charges on you, but those would not stick if you set the money aside and convey a willingness to pay all monies due as soon as they provide you with the information that they need to provide you. Or continue to pay, but let them know that you will be providing the IRS with all the info on them that you do have.
And the bonus to this is that you do not have to deal with the BM since it is really none of her concern. It is between you and the child care providers.
Other thoughts out there?