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I have been on this site for many many years. I got all the parenting and CS issues you can raise.

In this case the man in question has a drug problem and is not, I repeat not a candidate for shared parenting. I KNOW this guy. He had not paid a dime's worth of support in years. He refuses to have anything to do with his children because it is "inconvienent" for him.

He is what we are fighting against. An uncaring, disinterested deadbeat! The type of guy that gives all Good Dads a bad name

The Witch

 
Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

Hey Guys,

I have a friend that needs help with an ex. He owes over 30 thousand in CS. She has info on his employer but for safety reasons doesn't want to call directly.

Can anyone find a link on line that will offer a way to get the info to the emforcement unit so we can get this guy to pay the measly $50 per wk


Thanks
Hagatha

Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing

There are several options you need to look into.
!st and foremost, adoption is Not a viable option unless the father agrees to terminate his parental rights also. So pursuing this issue before you are positive the father will agree is a waste of time. Even if the father has indeed skipped town. You have an obligation to due dilagence to find him and include him in the decision.

2nd, if you and your wife have agreed her daughter needs to wake up to the responsibility of motherhood, then allow her to do just that. You both have to step back and allow her to parent this baby. You can make suggestions on how and why in certain circumstances, but you must allow her to parent.

You and your wife MUST present a united front. The daughter has to learn Right Now about consequences to actions. You can and should make her responsible for her decisions. Help out whenever possible but SHE needs to be the parent. It is in her, and the baby's best interest to allow her the respect and dignity to grow up and be responsible

The Witch
Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

>If she doesn't get the kids to the meeting point, is she in
>contempt?  My understanding is she has to willfully disregard
>the order.
>
>Thanks!

This bis not "Willfull disregard of the order" because she doesn't have the means to comply. Without a car she cannot drive to the meeting point. She could take a cab but then she would have to pay the fare.

You could file for contempt but you would loose and possibly have to pay more CS so she can get means of transportation

The Witch

Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

FIrst and foremost, contact the support enforcement unit in your local county to ascertain the validity of her claims. Youn can also request an audit of your account to show you are paying. You should also request a review of your deductions from your HR department to be sure they are making timely payments.

This should be done via letter, return receipt, to cover your butt.

If your employer is not complying with the court order you need to speak with the head of the HR Department

The Witch

 
Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

Kent,

I believe the answer to your question is Yes, she can listen right now. You are calling her house and/or her cell. She can do whatever she wants.

There are some things yoiu can do to rectify this situation though.

1st you can petition the court to order calls between you and son are private. This should be done while petitioning for more time or contempt.

2nd. When she calls back to "discuss" your conversation with son, you can hang up. Realisitically you don't Have to even answer the phone.

Now I know this will cause more friction, probably cause you to loose some phone time with your son, but then you get the contempt charge you need.

You are letting her control this situation by allowing this interaction, Stop ans she will go crazy. This could be a good thing.

The Witch

Soc,

As I've seen you suggest in the past, can the father submit to a pollygraph test given by an independent facility to offer to the court as proof of innocence in this matter? And of course request the mother submit to the test also?

Also should the father take the pollygraph prior to the hearing and have the results ready to give to the Judge?

As for the actual custody hearing. . .

Since the mother and grandmother have alledged molestation and have done so in the presense of the child, could the father petition for an evaluation of the Child.

I would think given the child's age (5) it would not be very difficult to convince the child the molestation did indeed happen, even if it did not.

If in fact, they can convice this child she had been molested and the perpetrator was her father, she would grow up believing she was a victim of abuse and would experience all the negative ramifications through out her life that an actual abuse victim would.

Can or should the father have a therapist that specializes in sexual abuse testify in court to the damages, (emotional, psychological, emotional, etc) this child could face if left in the care of her mother and grandmother if they continue to make these alligations and or attempt to convince the child she had been abused?

Can or should the father have a therapist testify for him in court as to the damages (emotional etc) the child will experience if the mother and grandmother continue to denigrate the father to the child or in the child's presense?

If it were me, I would assert the child was in fact being abused and the abuse was at the hands of the mother. I beleive submitting a child to a vaginal exam to prove sexual abuse, when the parent knows no abuse has taken place is really child abuse. And that parent should not be permitted to be unsupervised while with the child.

The Witch

Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!

Soc,

The father is willing to abide by the settlement they had already reached. Mother has decided after hearing of fathers terminal illness to do whatever she can to postpone the divorce as she believes she will benifit more as his widow. And this benifit would be a detriment to the children.

questions

1. can he make a new will designating the children as his benifituaries which would void the previous will listing her as sole benifituary?

2. You are saying she will be able to get SS even if the divorce is granted? What if he does live a couple of more years? Is SS based on the amount of time the parties were married? or subsequent marriages?

3.  Since one of the children is still a minor, should the inheritance he is likely to recieve be put in a trust fund or would you recommend another way to protect the childs assets from mother. (mother will most likely spend the money)

4. Should father go to court and present the settlement they agreed to and ask the Judge to order that settlement explaining that mother  would have already signed the paperwork except for learing of fathers illness?

Thanks
The Witch

Soc,

All parties live in PA.

Father has terminal brain cancer. Parents have been seperated for almost five years. Mother refuses to sign final papers because she will not receive any money if the divorce is finalized.

Child is 16 and had quit school, with mothers blessing. However since learning of fathers health problem has re-enrolled him in school. (child failed 8th grade and decided he did not want to repeat the grade. She moved to another county and somehow got him into 9th grade)

Father has no attorney and given the health problems can not afford counsel. (we're working on that)

Questions

1). Is there any way to "fast track" the divorce without mothers signiture?

2) Can father prevent mother from getting any of his pension?

3) Can father prevent mother from getting any social security benifits?

4) Should son fail to attend school or quit school before the death of father can mother still optain SS benifits for child?

5) Should father make a new will but include mother (leave her $1.) to prevent her from contesting the new will?

6) Any other suggestions?? (Daughter does Not want mother to benifit in any way from fathers death)


Thanks
The Witch

Soc,

Could it also just be a notice from opposing counsel stating there is on going litigation and as such the doctors office should not release info to dad, and not an actual order.

Should/could the dad's attorney subpeona a copy of this "order" if it is indeed a letter sent to the office as proof the mother is limiting dad's involvement with the child's medical care?

The Witch


Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!