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Long story short...our parenting evaluation ended up being a joke.  The evaluator says the child would be better off with "me" the father rather than the mother due to her inability to render good interpersonal relationships.  However, because of the hostility that the mother implied on behalf of the father "me", the child should remain with the mother.

Course we have documentation showing otherwise, things of that nature...but our attorney advised me that because we weren't awarded temporary custody at our first hearing, she would more than likely keep custody with the mother due to the parenting eval even though their are clearly holes in it.  He doesn't reference the drugs found in our childs system, while being out of my physical presence for over a year.  This all started with a contempt action, received makeup visitation and now this.

My question is this:

I do not want the standard EOW so on and so forth.  Because we both live in different states, I in FL her in GA, is it possible to word a proposed settlement detailing out that not only do I want EOW, that I want all long holidays/school closed days and such including 9 weeks during the summer?  

Do you have an alternate suggestion to the above?

Has anyone ever done something that wasn't the norm?  I'm now going from true 50/50 split to this crap.  She moved away and I wasn't smart enough at the time to do anything to stop her.  

Also, how can I make sure that FL keeps jurisdiction?  She has tried to change it before but was denied due to pending litigation.

THANK YOU!

Thanks for the advice...too late now for the letter request...we have a case mgmt. conference on the 10th, (wed.).  We do have an attorney, and he suggested the case mgmt., conference instead.  Plus when we spoke to his asst. yesterday, he is ready to drop the hammer on her.  She has failed to comply with everything.  It is now affecting the child and he is going to try to bring that up in court.  He didn't want to file a motion to compel or anything and have to charge us money since we were able to get the case mgmt. date, he said he would bring it up in court.  We are going to ask that the report be done by the end of the month, so then we can forward our new information to him as well.

Thank you!

In reading a post below, someone brought up the questions of a timely evaluation.

My situation....2005 contempt..2006 makeup visitation, filed for custody modification based on numerous related factual events...documentation supplied to the court.  Parenting evaluation ordered in June.

I'm the father and NCP at this point.  My evaluation was completed as was the child's with me in October 2006.  These were to be completed the end of September, but I was given an extension for the child/mine due to the child being out of state.  I live in FL and FL has retain jurisdiction.  The mother still has not completed hers or hers with the child.  We have a case mgmt conference next Wednesday.  In the motion that was filed it addresses the fact that the PE has not been completed nor have her interrogatories and new requests for production.

1.  Is my session still considered valid?  New information has arisen affecting the child.  Missing 15 days of school (he's in Kindergarten), 10 tardies, not included in the 15.  Sick all the time....due to smoke inhalation and I'm not talking cigarettes.

2.  The evaluator did not request any collateral contacts nor an interview with either of our spouses...is this common?

3.  Should I ask for another session and present new information since it expressly relates to the childs wellbeing...ie: health, schooling.

4.  I thought a case mgmt hearing was a hearing to see where everyone was at and to set a final hearing date....what is your experience with case mgmt hearings involving custody when the other parent thumbs their nose at doing anything?

Thank you.

For an estimated total...you can always go under paycheckcity.com and navigate through their site.

They have every state listed and you can actually add deductions to it, for insurance, benefits and the such.

I used it to get an average of income based upon overtime since checks were different each week.  My attorney now has his asst. use it in time crunches.

In reading a post below, someone brought up the questions of a timely evaluation.

My situation....2005 contempt..2006 makeup visitation, filed for custody modification based on numerous related factual events...documentation supplied to the court.  Parenting evaluation ordered in June.

I'm the father and NCP at this point.  My evaluation was completed as was the child's with me in October 2006.  These were to be completed the end of September, but I was given an extension for the child/mine due to the child being out of state.  I live in FL and FL has retain jurisdiction.  The mother still has not completed hers or hers with the child.  We have a case mgmt conference next Wednesday.  In the motion that was filed it addresses the fact that the PE has not been completed nor have her interrogatories and new requests for production.

1.  Is my session still considered valid?  New information has arisen affecting the child.  Missing 15 days of school (he's in Kindergarten), 10 tardies, not included in the 15.  Sick all the time....due to smoke inhalation and I'm not talking cigarettes.

2.  The evaluator did not request any collateral contacts nor an interview with either of our spouses...is this common?

3.  Should I ask for another session and present new information since it expressly relates to the childs wellbeing...ie: health, schooling.

4.  I thought a case mgmt hearing was a hearing to see where everyone was at and to set a final hearing date....what is your experience with case mgmt hearings involving custody when the other parent thumbs their nose at doing anything?

Thank you.

For an estimated total...you can always go under paycheckcity.com and navigate through their site.

They have every state listed and you can actually add deductions to it, for insurance, benefits and the such.

I used it to get an average of income based upon overtime since checks were different each week.  My attorney now has his asst. use it in time crunches.

I talked to my attorney finally....ya'll are always so busy....LOL!!!!

Talked with him and he said that he was going to file a "Motion to Review or a Motion for Review" on my case.  That because my ex had not done the parenting evaluations within her time limit and now after the fact is asking for an extension and the new information on her new husband.....(who by the way we think they have split up, he is working in Oregon and she lives in Georgia.  He's been gone since September and she supposedly is having a problem pregnancy...STRANGE) he said that he wants the judge to look over everything.

1.  My question is...what exactly is she going to look at and what is a Motion to Review?  It seems pretty self-explantory, but yet I don't know what she would actually be reviewing or what the outcome could be to it...any ideas?

2.  Could the judge cancel the parenting evaluation for her and just move forward with the case.  We don't want that to happen, one because I've paid my $1500 for it and two, she is bi-polar doesn't take the prescribed medication and uses pot to help her.  Our child was born with it in his system...she was hiding her usage while I was at work.  Needless to say, the doctor in the NICU unit had to sedate me...I was ready to well....that was my baby...so I'm sure if you have kids you can understand.

Thank you for all of the advice that you give on this site...not just for me but for all others.  Clarification of things sometimes is the best medicine for the other party as well!  

There should be more people like you in this world.

Thanks for the info...but have another question:

1.  What is your opinion if we file for temporary custody on timing since the child is in Kindergarten...now so we can get a hearing while he is on Christmas Break?

2.  What is your experience with filing temporary custody and being denied already once.  I have done my evaluation and so has my child with me.  The mother is asking for an extension and the order for parenting evaluation was ordered in late June.  She filed for extension on 9/29, but no hearing has been set.  

Without going into long drawn out detail...here's a little history then my question, it's still a little long....SORRY

Last year Motion for Contempt in May, lots of hearings, no shows on my ex's part (ever married) starting in May of 2005.  Everything at that time I did pro-se.  I couldn't have done it without my wife's help.  Anyway, finally ending with an Order or she was going to jail in January of 2006.  Makeup visitation with me 6 weeks, with her 2 weeks until either school started or other motions were filed.  

Finally received child after a year for makeups.  Received child on Saturday, had to call and make DR's appts on that Monday.  Child was malnourished, under weight...possible drugs in system.  Child had just turned 5.  Doctor referred him for drug testing....hair and urine...nothing in urine...hair test came back with enough THC in system that the scientist said he could be smoking it himself.  Of course that wasn't happening, but mother has history of drug abuse.

Filed for temporary custody with an attorney after DCFS came out and did nothing basically... mother was allowed 3 days to have urine test taken...nothing done on her current husband.  We supplied urine and hair follicles on my wife and I that were negative...no transfer of custody allowed until all hearings and evaluations were done by order of the court.

Discovery - we have found out after we filed all the reasons for the change, the fact that ex's current husband is a convicted felon (burglary) and probation was revoked and resent to jail for drug use.  File is laced with everytime he checked in, he had drugs in system. Admitted to drug problem.   Also, his drivers license is suspended get this since 1996 and after calling all the courts in the state he used to live in, will have to pay over $13,000 to get it reinstated, the guy is only 33.

Now the questions:

1.  Since we have already filed our reasons for the change in custody, can I go back and add the felony/drug usage charge as another reason my child had drugs in system even if mother claims she doesn't use?
(son was born with drugs in system, and mother again tested for drugs and failed in the same year through DCFS, mother also has lost custody of another child)

2.  Ex is currently unable to travel due to problem pregnancy (3rd child, 3rd man)for pickups/dropoffs for visitation and child is being driven by her current husband with suspended license...Is there anything that can be done after the child is dropped off to get him arrested for endangering the child.  

3.  How can we document #2 behavior without taking pictures of vehicle with he and my child in it?  I don't want to provoke him in front of my child.  They went so far to accuse my wife and I of having an "IN" at DCFS and contacting the lab where the drug test was done and say we took the hair from someone else and brought it in...CRAZY

Thanks.

>My daughter is 8. She is spending 50% of her time at each
>home. We signed an agreement that we would offer 50:50 both on
>a temporary and permanent basis (the court won't enforce this
>since it was not yet approved by the court, but it goes to her
>state of mind). My daughter is thriving under 50:50 and I'm
>the one who's doing the parent/teacher conferences, doctor's
>appointments, etc.
>


Make sure you get documentation now that you are doing all of this...this will weigh heavy on the evaluator and the court in general.  We have done the parenting eval and are waiting for the CP to do hers.  She has put it off for so long now that teh evaluator asked why it is taking her so long.  The evaluators know when a child is coached.....they will evaluate the child separately and they tell the child that they do not have to talk about anything in their session....my son is 5 and he was very comfortable.  My suggestion if you have to go is do your eval 1st....then let her do hers last, but first with the daughter.  Depending on the age of your child....they will be more comfortable going in the 2nd time knowing what to expect.  

We were not as fortunate doing it that way due to living in 2 states, but my son is very adaptable and he was fine.

It has gotten to the point where today our attorney had our case mgmt conference because the CP was noncompliant in getting the PE done.  She has till the 8th of Feb...or they will go forward with final hearing without it.

Good luck.