Messages

So many questions for you!

1. How old are the children?
2. What is the physical distance between her and the children?
3. Why was she having to have supervised visits in the first place?

If you are on the east coast and she is on the west coast, I think most of us here would agree that it would be understandable as to why she hasn't seen her kids in 6 months.  If the children are little babies, say under the age of two and they haven't seen her in six months, might be a hit against her for sure.  If your kids are over the age of ten, talk to her on the phone or use skype or something, probably won't make any difference. 

But aside from that, why were her visits made supervised in the first place?  If she has corrected the issue that caused this situation, she might be right.  If it hasn't been corrected, her chances would be less.

Judges are humans.  How they see things in a court room is pretty much dependent on the case presented to them.

My son is now 23, but I remember how much it hurt like it was yesterday.  My ex pulled a lot of crap in his life, but never anything as awful as this.  I missed out on 5 years of son's life, less the little time I was able to steal without my ex and his lovely wife knowing it. 

When he was 15 he called me and told me he didn't want to live with his dad anymore.  I told him I understood, but I had dropped over $25K in legal fees and I simply couldn't spend anymore.  He asked me if I would buy him a ticket to my house and I told him I would.  My brother got him to the airport and father told him to never come back.

He has been with me now, and the damage that is done is overwhelming at times.  I am glad I got him out of his father's grip and his step mom's horrible treatment, but I wonder if he will ever be OK.

He has a son of his own now.  And he knows, first hand, how much it hurts when someone is denied the right to see their own child.

Olanna; First of all, if you want to jump ugly on Davy (especially about my daughter) will you please move your snide remarks to a new thread on the Father issue board since there is not a board relevant to seriously abused children.

... 

If you can dish it out Davy, you need to learn to take it.  Don't be so sensitve!

olanna .... YES but why would you ask ?  She told her brother several years ago after years of counseling (I was not involved of course) that what has happened to her was done intentionally and on purpose in order to control her.  She's an RN and she's not stupid ...two children of her own.

Is the fact that she is successful, ie an RN, also her mother's fault?

... I have not seen my daughter in 26 years that she was not in crisis or turmoil....

And this is the mother's fault? 

I specifically had moving out of our county of residence addressed, as my ex was talking about moving to KY.  The mediator agreed that the non-custodial parent would pick up at the daycare on Fridays and drop him off at child care on Monday.  (It was during the early time of our separation and divorce, and my ex was making exchanges difficult in front of our son).  I wanted out of the equation, as I really had nothing to do with the exchange or the parenting time, it was his time.

It worked.  I would recommend it for anyone with a difficult exchange time.  And it continued long after the dust settled and we were able to co-parent our son successfully.

Follow your current order, as the others have suggested.

Even if he files in OH, GA may still decide they are GA residents.  But he certainly could try to go the avenue you are suggesting.  I wouldn't have waited a month, much less a year.

I think this is one area where I really feel differently than most on this board.  When my ex and I split up, I stayed in the town, (matter of fact, still live in the same town), and he chose to move out of this town to one about 25 minutes away.  I was already playing full time taxi service, getting him back and forth to daycare and other activities.  I refused to do any extra driving, stating that so long as he decided to move to another town, he could do the driving.  I did offer him a complete 50/50 deal, no CS, and split costs if he would move back to town where we were located.  He wasn't interested in 50/50, as he wanted to stay near the girl he was dating.

It's ten years later, he is remarried and they have a place that is an hour away.  I still refuse to do any additional driving.  And my same offer stands. 

His father and I get along quite well.  He understands that he was the one that made the choice to move away.

HI Louis,

Since the children have been in GA for a year, there is a very good chance that the state of GA is going to take jurisdiction.  The usual time is 6 months.  Since there is no court order in place as of yet, you can head to GA and see them, as there is nothing in place that says you can't. 

Have you maintained communication with your children?  Have you kept in touch with the schools they attend?  These kind of things will hold a lot of value when you do establish some regular parenting time through the courts.

I think your best road would be to get some kind of mediator involved, if that is what GA has to offer, and get back into your childrens lives.  Remember, child support and parenting time are very separate issues.

Best to you,

Ola

I'll put my toe in the water....

Suppose if I would have married a bright guy the first time, I wouldn't have needed to use my college education so I could make enough money to feed my kids when he left.  And then, there is the case of being with someone that pays almost half his monthly income to the witchala that feels she earned his money birthing his sons.

It's one big mess, I'll say...but certainly I am very happy that I can earn the money I do and really love my job.  Maybe I am the exception to the rule?