Messages

State is PA

Divorce was final a few months ago.  Property settlement included a transfer of funds from ex's IRA to mine and a cash payment all to be completed within 30 days of the order.  This has not happened.  Ex keeps saying it takes time but hasn't made any efforts to start the process.  There is no child support or alimony order.

Questions:

1.  Do I have to file a court action to get this finalized and, if so, which court or courts?

2.  What would make him follow that court order any more than he followed the settlement order?  Would the court order have any more meat?

3.  Are the findings of the court regarding property distribution modifiable if he says he no longer has the money?

4.  If he were to die before making good on the court order, would I be considered a creditor and, if so, how far down on the list of creditors?

5.  Are there any non-court ideas that are effective to get a property settlement finaliazed?

6.  Do I have any way of finalizing this if he continues to refuse to honor the court order?

7.  Are there any enforcement measures that are used with settlement resolution similar to those used with child support enforcement?

Little late coming in here but here goes.

You've got yourself in a bit of a mess and, sadly, your little girl is paying the price.  So what's the best way out of the mess?

There are basically 3 routes to choose from:
1.  find a way to make the best situation you can for your daughter with the status quo.
2.  file with the court and abide by the court dictating what will happen to your ex, you, and your daughter.
3.  find the way back to communicating with your ex so that your daughter's 2 parents can discuss freely and come up with the most appropriate solution; a solution that won't come about with either of the other options.

Of course the third option is the best but is it possible?

First, you admit that you treated your ex like cr**.  This will prevent your ex being able to coparent with you successfully and is one of the reasons you worry about revenge etc.  Therefore, an essential is accepting responsibility for the way you treated her and, somehow, making her realize this so that she can start the process of rebuilding trust in you.

Second, you state that your ex treated you like cr**.  This is preventing you from being able to coparent with her just as she's unable to do so with you.  However, the coparenting is now essential and something you need if the needs of your daughter are paramount.  Therefore, somehow you need to get past all the things that she did to you and will most likely continue to do to you while keeping the needs of your daughter in mind.  This one is a major toughie.

Third, and this one is actually the biggest of the lot, you CONTINUE to treat your ex like cr**.  I could quote many, many parts of your posts here that illustrate this very clearly.  If you want to find the best situation for your daughter, this HAS to stop even if your ex continues to treat you badly.  It's your only chance to cooperate with her to find the optimal situation for your daughter.

Now, if those three conditions can't be met, then your only option is one of the other 2; status quo or court.  No matter what you decide it's not going to be easy.  Good luck to you and your little girl.