Menu

Show posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Show posts Menu

Messages - twisted

#1
Dear Socrateaser / How to proceed. Please help!
Aug 30, 2006, 12:05:09 PM
I live in CA. I have been married for 10 years, and have two girls ages 4 & 8.

My husband is emotionally abusive towards me and has on occation hit me to the point of causing bruises. This happens maybe 6 times a year. He doesn't "beat" me though. We fight all the time and unfortunately it happens often in front of the children.

I have become increasingly unhappy in my marriage and feel that I am setting a poor example for my girls by teaching them it is okay for them to allow a man (or anybody for that matter) to treat them the way my husband has.

Yesterday I found porn on my computer. The models were underage, several of them clearly underage to the point of being between 12 and 15. I confronted my husband and while at first he denied it, he eventually admitted that he had been looking at this stuff on a regular basis. He at first told me it was all my fault he looked at this stuff, then claims he is sick and needs help.

I am sick at the idea that he is looking at children doing disgusting things with grown men. I am concerned for my children's safety. I am tired of being treated like dirt by him.

He has told me if I leave him he will take away my kids from me. I don't work, have no income to speak of, and therefor no money to retain a lawyer. I want to file for a divorce but am scared that as soon as I do he will take the kids and I will never see them again.

I have removed the computer from my home and a friend is keeping it for safe keeping. I don't know if I can use anything on it for evidence or not, but it also has all of his financial information on it as he is self employed.

My kids love their father and I don't want to take them away from him, my friends are telling me I need to or at least get supervised visits for them. I'm not sure I am ready for a divorce yet, but I was thinking about filing for a legal separation in case he can get help and we can work this out.


1) Is there any disadvantage to me filing for legal Seperation instead of Divorce?

2) How can I keep my husband from taking off with our kids?

3) Can I keep him out of our house? Like change the locks and stuff?

4) I would appreciate any advice on how to proceed as I really don't have a clue.