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I want to first thank you for your help. When me and my ex divorved we just agreed to share custody and tsince we only lived 10 miles apart and the bus brought the boys here after school during my time, I didnt have a problem with the transportation thing. It wasnt til after I got home and it was read to me that he only had to live in this county for one year., I really didnt believe he would ever move because we had talked throughout our whole marriage that he wanted the boys to graduate from the same school he did and I trusted that he would still keep his word(stupid me... I know) When the one year was up he sent me a certified letter saying that he was moving 45 miles away.
   Then all the driving was up to my current husband(since I am unabled to drive). I didnt think I could try to get it modified because somewhere in the papers it says this is the visitation for parents residing less than 100 miles apart. So I figured since we are only 45 miles apart(90 miles round trip), the judge would say its stil my responsability, and because I didnt have the money to fight him, I just let things go like they was.It wasnt til after my currect husbands health conditions started getting worse is when I started ask my ex for help with the driving, but he refused.
   Well he decided to do the modifing because my oldest son is in the 9th grade and in the marching band and I told my ex I couldnt afford to drive the 90 miles round trip then wait til after the game on friday nights just to do another 90 mile round trip to go pick him up.I am not refusing him the right to march , I just cant afford the gas n back n forth. Then my middle son(age 12) is in football and has a game every saturday so he misses that game every other saturday.
   The sharig the driving is a big issue for me but the biggest issue is the sports and band thing. He is wanting me weekends taken from me because of this.No mediation has ever been ordered. I dont even know what that is. I am on SSI and live in the state of texas so my checks cant be garished. If mediation is ordered then it will be up to my ex to pay for it. I cant even pay my bills living on 452.00 a month.
   As far as my current husband being close to the boys, he is closer to the 2 youngest ones. The oldest one tends to believe and follow everything that my ex says or does. Any help is greatly appreicated.

Giggles, Wow you have helped me more then you will ever know but I need ypir help more . I dont know what guidelines you are talking bout. I wish there was a way I could get in contact with you through yahoo. I truly appreciate your honesty and sympathy. Thanks for all and I hope to hear back from you soon.
     Take care yourself!

Ok, I think there was a misunderstanding on your part. I am on SSI due cerebral palsy and I couldnt even afford a attorney at the time of the divorce. Secondly, when he moved the boys away, I was still in a bad way money wise. I am living off of 452.00 a month. Not much I can do with that kind of income. I completely understand that children get to where they are interested in sports and school activities and I have no problem with them being involved but I simply cant afford the back and forth of 45 miles one way. I wish the situation was different. As far as my ex being understanding, I explained to him that my current husband has liver disease and is on the transplant and he told me that wasnt his problem. When he agreed to bring my youngest son to me on friday nights , that is the first time in nine years that he has done any of the driving, all the rest of the time it has been up to my current husband to do all the driving. With me being unable to drive due to my disability and my current husbands health getting worse each day, it seems like there is no light at the end of this tunnel. As for you saying my ex has been pretty reasonable in the past, thats totally untrue. He has told me children that I am a whore and that I am running from God. I have truely tried to compromise with him. He seems to be so angry still over the divorce, I understand he has the right to stay angry for as long as he wants but to put the children in the middle of all of this is just soooo wrong that he does that.

Hello,
    I have a huge problem on my hands but before I go into that , please let me back up some. Nine years ago my ex husband and I got a divorce. I agreed at the time that we have joint custody but for him to be managing conservator. He told me at the time if I would not take it to trial that He would keep full coverage health insurance(at his cost).There would not be a order for me to pay child support since I have never worked and I have Cerebral Palsy.It was also agreed that we share custody(we would have the children with equal time). It was also agreed that he stay living in Leon County he said that he wanted the children to graduate from the same high school as he did.Well after the papers was signed and I got home it was read to me that the papers said he only had to live in leon county for one year.When the one year was up he sent me a certified letter saying he was moving from Leon county to Palestine (Anderson county). Well since I can not drive due to my disability my current husband has been doing all the drive for the past nine years(my current husband is also disabled from a back injury and is recieving SSI). Also for the past eight years the distance has been 90 miles round trip on friday to get them and another 90 miles monday morning to return them(we take them straight to school on monday morning). Well in 2001  I started recieving SSI as well. Our total income is 904.00 monthly(my husband gets $452.00 and I get $452.00) Well for the last three or four years now my ex husband has put my three sons (now ages 14, 12, and 11) into football and band so that it would interfer with the time that I get them. I have refused to allow him to take away the 4 to 6 days(mostly 4 days) a month that I get my children. So When it was my time to get them I would go get them regardless if it caused them to miss a game or marching in the band.Since they have moved 45 miles away I am only getting them 1st 3rd and 5th fridays of the month because I cant afford the gas money to get them more then that. Well we found out that my current husband as Liver Disease and is now on the transplant list, then in July my Daddy died at 55 years old.My ex husband gets the children for 8 days at the beginning of summer, then for Fathers Day weekend, then for 8 days before school starts(all the rest of the summer I get them). Well at the beginning of the school year my oldest son who is in the ninth grade decided he didnt want to play football but wanted to stay in the marching band. Well since he is earning credits now, I talked to my ex husband and told him I didnt have a problem with my son marching in the school band but I simply cant afford to drive 45 miles to pick up the other children drive 45 miles home then wait 5 or 6 hours and drive 45 miles back to pick up my oldest and drive 45 miles back home and I am simply to ill to attend and watch him march and he would have to bring him to me on friday nights after the game. He said he would bring my oldest son to me during the marching season.I told my ex husband about my current husbands health problems and ask him if he would continue to bring the children to me after marching season is over and he said he would not.
       On September 11th, 2006( my youngest sons 11th birthday) He had me served with papers (which was a total shock to me) saying he was taking me to court to have the case moved to Anderson county, asking for my time to be reduced because I am failing to allow my children to particapate in extracurricular activities (if he wouldnt have moved the children 45 miles away we wouldnt have this problem because the school they would be going to is 3 miles from here). He is also asking for 1/2 health care on children and child support. Well I contacted legal aid and they said that they couldnt help me because they dont have the funds to help.With no money, no one to turn to for help, I just dont know what to do or or where to turn. I have been told that because I am not a criminal , the judge isnt going to appoint me an attorney and by going into court without a lawyer that the judge is only going to address my ex husband issues and the judge will not hear anything from me.. I called SSI and they said that my checks are what they call a welfare program check and that they cant be garnished for child support but my main concern is that the court will take the only 4 days a month I have with my children away. I would really like to raise my own issues, like to ask if there is any way that my ex husband can be ordered to help out with the driving and that any of my time lost due to extracurricular activities be given back to me during his summer visitation. I also want primary custody of my 2 younger boys who are 12 and 11 years old.My questions to you is since my current husband is in bad health and I am unable to drive , is there anyway the judge could order my ex to help out with the driving even though we dont live 100 miles apart? I was also wondering if there was any direction you can point me to any help on all this or is there any advice that you can give me as to what to expect and what to say when I go to court? I am so confused and stressed!!! Any help on this would be greatly appreciated! Thank you so very much for your time. Sorry for the long post

Hello Again,
            I live in the state of Texas. I am divorced , my ex and I have joint custody but the children live with him. He is taking me back to court to have my 4 days a month reduced because he says that extracurricular activities are more important right now then spending time with their mom. I was told by one of my children that my ex husband is recording my conversations anytime my ex and I speak on the phone.
Heres my questions for you:

1. Is it legal for him to record our conversations without letting me know he is doing so?

2. If he is recording me without me knowing, will it be allowed to be used in court?

3. If it is illegal to do so and he trys to use them and the judge tells him he cant use it, is there anything I can do legally about him recording me for the intent to use it against me?

Your time and advice is greatly appreciated Sir!!!!!

                                 Thanks n Have a great night,
                                                              J.B.  in Texas

  Dear Socarteaser
   
   First off I want to thank you for the help you have given me. Although I wasnt completely pleased with everything you had to say. I have to face the facts!

  I had ask in my previous post if the judge was going to take my 4 days a month away or reduce them and you said you get what you get and I might not like what the judge does with that.I also mentioned that my son is in band but forgot to ask you about that.
   
   My Questions to you is;
 1. since I am only getting about 4 days a month, will the judge reduce my time?

2. What will happen with the situation of my marching in the band? Will the judge say , oh well you just cant see him anymore until the marching season is over?

3. With my ex have the former assistant DA of that county  as his attorney will the judge likely rule more so in my ex's favor because of the attorney he has?


  I know you dont have all the answers in the world but your opinion is greatly appreciated and you time is equally appreciated. Thanks for everything!!!!

9 years ago after I told my ex husband I wanted a divorce. He ran down and got temparary custody of my three sons. I have never worked due to having cerebral palsy from born. When he filed, then there I was stuck here In Texas with no family here to help or support me(I was born and raised in Maryland).

   I didnt know my rights and had no money for a attorney. We agreed that we would have joint custody but for my ex to have primary custody but that we would get the children equal time.My ex agreed that since I have never worked that no child support would be ordered and that he would pay 100% of health care on the children. He also said he wouldnt move out of the county we was living in because he wanted the boys to graduate from the same school he did.

   Well after signing the papers and then came home it was read to me that he only had to stay in this county for year. Although I felt like I was mislead by him, I really didnt believe he would move the children, because we had always talked throughout our marriage about raising the children here. At that time we lived about 10 miles away and transportation wasnt a problem, even though I have never been able to drive due to my disability.

     The school was right up the road and the bus would drop them off here every Thursday after school. On the 1st, 3rd, and 5th thursdays , I wouldnt have to return them til monday morning when the bus arrived to pick them up.Then on the 2nd and 4th Thursdays, I would receive the boys after school and they would spend the night with me and I would put them on the bus Friday(not to see them again til the following Thursday).

    After one year, sure even, I received a certified letter saying he was moving 45 miles away to another county. By that time I was married and my new husband(who is receiving SSI). With my money situation still bad, I didnt think I could walk in the court house and ask them to order my ex not to move or even order him to help with the driving.

    Since on the decree it clearly stated that in the event the children was out of school when it was my time to get them then it would be my responsability to pick them up. Then in one part it said that this is the order for parents living within 100 miles apart.

   So  for the past 8 years my current husband has been doing 100% of the driving. I only get them on 1st, 3rd, and 5th Fridays now since I cant afford to pick them up on Thursday(like ordered in the decree) drive 90 miles round trip home turn back around Friday morning and drive them to school just to pick them up again Friday afternoon to have them the whole weekend(that would be around 360 miles of travel for a weekend visit, with no help in the driving from my ex).

    Well a few years ago I started receiving SSI along with my current husband in which we have been penalized for being married in turn makes us to receive only 904.00 as our total income. My ex started enrolling the children in sports activities. When he did that he expected  me to skip my weekends with no offer to trade weekends. Well I refused to allow that to get inbetween me and my children. They would just miss their games on that weekend.

   Now I know that was wrong, but my feelings has allows been that 4 days a month with their mother is more important then 1 game of ball.Well now my 14 yr old is in the ninth grade and in the marching band. I know hes earning credits and thats very important for his future. Then we found out my current husband has liver disease and is now on the transplant list. Well when school started this yr I called my ex and told him that I had no problem with my son marching in the school band.

   I told him that my problem was that I can barely afford to come get the boys now and that I simply cant afford to come pick up the 2 other boys, come home and wait 7 or 8 hrs and go pick up the other son. I explained to my ex about my current husband's health problem and told him that he is getting worse everyday. I ask my ex if he would help with the driving. He said he would bring me my one son to me after marching on fridays.

   He said he would do this during the marching season and then after that he would not help at all. Well 10 days after this conversation I was served with papers(Sept 11th which is one of my sons birthday). The paper say he is taking me to court to have things modified. He wants the case moved to his county. He wants me to pay child support and 1/2 health care on the boys. He also wants the visitation modified because he says I am failing to allow my children to particapate in extracurricular actitivities.
 
   I called Legal Aid and they helped me prepare a answer in which I ask that he do the driving and that he has failed to comply with the 100% of health care because he wouldnt get my son brace(who needs them badly) and his excuse for not getting the children braces was because it would interfer with my son being able to play the horn in the school band.
 
  After that legal aid said that the court would grant him to move the case because the children have been living in that county for atleast 6 months. Legal Aid said that once it would be moved to that county then I would have to go through another branch of legal aid.Well I got the letter from the court saying it was moved to his county. I called legal aid in that county and then received a letter from them saying they have ran out of funds and cant help me.

  I called SSI and they said that in the state of Texas they cant ganish my SSI for child support or health care for the boys. I am in no way trying to get out of my responsiblity for these boys but I cant even pay my own bills, there are alot of times I have to ask organazations for the disabiled to help with my utlitities.

   I dont have 1400.00 to give to a lawyer to help me with this so I am stuck representing myself. I am a complete dumbbie when it comes to the law and I dont know my rights and he has hired the former District Attorney for that county as his attorney. I would like to have my ex do the driving. I also want to fight for custody of my 2 younger sons.

Here are my Questions to you:
1.What are my chances of gaining custody of my 2 younger sons?

2.  What are my rights of visitation, can he legally take the only 4 days a month that I get with my boys?

3.Is there any way that a judge will order him to do all the driving or atleast some since my current husband and I are both disabled and my current husband has been doing all the driving in the past 8 yrs.?

4. Where(a website or something) can I go to get educated on represent myself.


I am need of help badly. I apologize for this being so longggggg. I just wanted you to know everything I have faced so that you could help me in the best way. Thank you for your time, its greatly appreciated.