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Messages - underground_wall

#1
Custody Issues / Ethical question
Nov 03, 2006, 07:32:28 AM
I'm new to the forum, so I'm not sure if this is the appropriate place to post my question.

I have heard through the children grapevine (his daughter told my daughter) that my friend's wife is planning to move out and take the children.  He is not aware.

This wife is a little unstable, and very controlling.  She has bought a house, and says that she is "taking care of the money issues," and she has told her daughter that she will "make sure that she gets custody." This woman is the sole wage-earner in the household at the moment and is in control of the finances, so my friend still has no idea that she has bought a house and a car.

They have a 16-year-old daughter who is struggling in school. My friend worries and tries to make sure that she gets her homework done, but his wife tells their daughter that it's not important if she goes to school or gets good grades, so the daughter obviously likes the mother better. The mother has tried to alienate the daughter from the father, and is claiming that the daughter can choose who she wants to live with.  I'm afraid that she will make the wrong choice.

My questions are: should I tell my friend that this is going on? Obviously it would be best if he was able to prepare himself, but I'm afraid that it will be obvious that I found out through our daughters, and the wife is so unstable I'm afraid she might take it out on their daughter.  I'm also concerned that the friend will not believe me, since he currently has no inkling that this is happening.

Then the obvious question is, if I do tell him, what should he do to prepare himself?

Thanks for any and all help you can give!