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My wife and I married young. I was 21 and she was 18.  We just had our 8th anniversary.  We have 3 children, ages 5, 4, 2.5.  At the end of June my wife told me that she no longer loved me and wanted a divorce.  It was time for her to be selfish. I convinced her to go to marriage counselling, but realized she was just going though the motions.  In fact she told the therapist that I was sucidial in their private meeting.  After a painful month I agreed to a divorce.  She began taking long weekends to her parents house.  We would alternate weekends with the kids,  I soon realized that she had been having an affair since June.  She even financed a new car for the new boyfriend. Our neighbor, her good friend be came so disgusted with everything she was doing that she told me everything. I ended up filing for divorce, but before she got served, I was served with a restraining order.  The restraining order was thrown out, but she refused to let me see the kids, or even talk to them.  I missed their birthdays and Halloween.  Our affidavits were due to be filed at the courthouse on October 12th.  Mine were filed.  Hers were not.  She had mine a full 2 weeks before hers were filed.  After 75 days the Guardian At Litem finally got it so I could see the kids every other weekend.  They have told me things like, I want to trade you in for a new Daddy.  and I changed my last name to Evans.  (The boyfriends last name).  They told me that Mom's boyfriend told them to tell me that.  I have taken the high road, but I fear that she will get residential custody of the kids,  and I will see the kids every other weekend.  My attorney says that she has never been so confident in a case before, and she thinks I will get sole custody.  I will believe it when I see it.  The problem I see is that they might give her a slap on the wrist for what she has done, but give her the kids because she is the mom, has family support in the town she went to, and enrolled the kids in preschool.  I am told that I shouldn't worry about those things.  I have discovered that shared parenting is fiction.  Meaning if the parents can't agree the custodial parent gets to make the decision.  I saw my kids for the first time last weekend.  Two of my children had rashes.  My oldest son asked if he could stay with me 5 times.  I cannot afford to pay the child support she is asking for and my own bills.  I will have to quit my job and move out of state to live with my parents.  I have always been a good father and have done my share of the nurturing.  She has been caught lying to the At Litem, not being cooperative, and being very unreasonable.  The boyfriend is not a pleasant person, and I am afraid my children will be abused.  He answered her phone once and cussed me out.  His deal is that he was a divorced father who got raped in court.  Apparently, he feels it should happen to me too.  He has encouraged her to lie saying I am suicidal, homicidal, a child molester, that I'm gay, cold, rude, have an extensive porn collection, and that I enjoy kiddy porn.  I'm getting very tired, and don't understand why she can't behave like a grown up.  I thought divorce was lose for everyone.  Not lose for me and the kids and win for her.