Messages

>>1 - Father is seeking Joint Custody (at the least), in your
>>opinion, does he have a good chance at receiving this based
>on
>>the situation?
>
>Under the unusual facts you post, I would say that father has
>a better chance at SOLE custody than at Joint, because by
>advocating joint, you are impliedly agreeing that the mother
>is not that bad an influence on the child. Your facts suggest
>that the mother is seriously mentally disturbed and that she
>is causing the child emotional abuse.
>
>If it were my case, I would have a psychiatrist all over this
>woman and I would be taking it all the way to the mat for sole
>custody.
>
----Father plans to request psch evaluations for mother, himself and child.  He had been advocating for joint custody at the last hearing.  However, since the recent occurences wants to try for sole custody.  However, he has some concerns on how that will go.  Child is 5 years old and since mother and father split in dec. 2004, has predominantly resided with mother.  However, these circumstances only occurred because after father moved out (and paid the mortgage for 1.5 years without living there) mother began dictating to father when he could and could not see child; as well as refusing overnight visitations.  Child has started overnight visitations and will have had 2 months of EOW overnights as well as a weekday schedule of tuesday and thursday evenings which have been in effect for 6 months now.  Father is nervous that court may not grant sole custody because child has resided with mother so much more.  Child experiences few problems while in father's care.  The most recent were outlined, others include child becoming upset with father in past for mentionaing overnights because child claims "I would be away from my mom for 3 whole days" (child has no concept of time...obviously something mother has said)  "My mom would be sad without me" a comment more than one person has heard mother saying to child in the past week.

1- Do you think the fact that the mother has had child more will effect the decision, despite her actions?

2- Do you think the court would take into consideration the fact that father did not have as much time as mother because mother prohibited it?

As for question two.  I know that father could have taken legal action sooner, but was trying to do what was best for child.  The separation was upsetting enough, did not want to cause any further harm--already knew mother's reactions and opinions on child being with father equally.

Oct. 28 - Mother and Maternal Grandmother take child to doctor. Child had fallen in tub and had a small cut on her labia.  During this visit, mother and grandmother made claims that child had told maternal grandmother that the father was sexually abusing her.  Doctor performed vaginal exam on child and found no evidence of sexual abuse.  Notified Mother of this and told her he would contact DSS because of her request and concerns.  Doctor contacted DSS, gave them his findings, and DSS felt no need to investigate.  Mother was notified of this information.


Oct. 30  Pendente Lite hearing  , re:child access.
Background:
Since mother and father split in dec. 2004 mother has extremely restricted father's time with child and refused any overnight visitations.
This behavior become worse when father girlfriend became a part of child's life in April 2006.  Mother would restrict father from telephone access and visitation with child for up to 6 days at a time, at her whim.

Hearing:
Mother and her lawyer told judge there was a DSS investigation against the father.  Judge could not proceed with entire hearing because of this.  However, judge ordered EOW overnight visitations to father and 2 evening visitations during the week.

Father had not seen child since Oct. 26th at the time of the hearing, and had only 1 phone conversation allowed by mother during that time.

Nov. 2  - Mother and Maternal grandmother go to DSS and claim to have found blood in child's underwear (5 years old) after last visit with father (oct. 26)  Mother and Grandmother tell DSS case worker there is no court order in effect, in order to receive a letter barring father from any contact with child for one week.

Nov. 9 - Mother waits until the day the order is to expire to allow child to be interviewed by DSS.  DSS finds no evidence of child being abused, and informs mother of this as well as case worker's opinion that child has a very positive relationship with father and his girlfriend.

Mother and Grandmother become enraged and leave the DSS office.  They go to county courthouse and file a protective order on child's behalf.  Mother and Grandmother tell judge the same story they told the case worker at DSS.  Mother and Grandmother make no mention of DSS investigation.  Mother asks judge if DSS can perform an investigation.

Nov. 17 - Final Protective Order Hearing

Judge speaks with case worker and father and mother's attornies in chambers.  Takes testimonies of all parties, and find mother and grandmother's testimonies to be contradictory to each other.  Dismisses protective order.

Father calls mother to set up pick up time and place (father's scheduled weekend)  After 2 hours of 'negotiating' mother agrees to drop off child.  Child seemed to be in good spirits most of the weekend.  Child became upset and on verge of tears everytime mother called to speak to child (once every evening and morning child was with father)  During the telephone conversations, mother could be clearly heard crying and telling child how sad she was without her. Mother told child she wanted to take her home but her daddy wouldn't let her.  Mother told child that grandmother and mother missed her so much and were sad and lonely without her.

Child would stay upset for about 5-10 minutes after these calls and then return to normal activity.

Nov. 21 - Both parties lawyers and GAL sit down with circuit court judge.. RE: Contempt Charges against mother.

Background:  Father's lawyer filed contempt charges against mother for all the time father missed with child.

Father's lawyer filed contempt against mother for cancelling court ordered mediation sessions.

Father's lawyer requested emergency hearing.

Since mother was now allowing father access to child,  no emergency hearing was scheduled

Contempt charges to be heard on Jan. 17 at next scheduled Pendente Lite hearing - by judge whose order mother violated

1 - Father is seeking Joint Custody (at the least), in your opinion, does he have a good chance at receiving this based on the situation?

2 - In your opinion, based on the information provided; do you believe mother will be found in contempt of court?

3 - Would father be able to request a psych evaluation for mother given her recent actions?

4 - Given the recent actions on the mother's part; would it be out of line for the father to request temporary full custody, pendente lite?

I understand that Maryland is an "all party consent" state, in regards to recording conversations.  

1-Does 'all party consent' mean that the other party to the conversation actually has to say it is ok to record the conversation? Or does it just mean they need to be notified that the conversation is being recorded at the beginning of the conversation?

>
>Recently, a judge granted the father overnight visitations
>EOW.  The mother did not want this and lodged a complaint with
>DSS on Nov. 2, stating that on the evening of Oct. 26 (last
>time child was with father) she found blood in their
>daughter's underwear.  She did not have these underwear as
>evidence for DSS.
>
>The mother obtained a temporary order (1 week) from DSS,
>barring the father from access with the child. The mother
>obtained this illegally, by lying to DSS, stating there was no
>court order regarding visitation in effect.
>
>The mother waited until the day this order was so expire(Nov.
>9) to allow DSS to interview child.  DSS found the allegations
>to be untrue, and when the case worker informed the mother of
>this, she said the mother became "enraged".  DSS interviewed
>the father and informed him child had told case worker that
>the mother was telling her bad things about father and
>girlfriend(me).
>
>Not 2 hours after the case worker told mother the findings,
>mother went to district court and obtained a protective order
>against father; making the same allegations and requesting a
>DSS investigation. ***Mother and grandmother failed to inform judge that this matter had already been investigated by DSS*** Father and Mother are to both attend
>hearing final protective order hearing on Friday (Nov.17).
>Father is to have no contact with child until that date.
>
>Mother has also written letter to child's doctor stating
>Father is not to have access to child's medical records.
>Father informed Dr. it was illegal to refuse him access, the
>Dr. still denied the access.
>
>Father's lawyer has filed multiple counts of contempt against
>mother for violating court order.

   We are located in Maryland

A few more questions...

 1 - Since the mother lied to DSS to obtain a letter barring father from contact with child for one week, is it likely she will be found in contempt for violating the visitation agreement? ( I know you are not a mind reader, just looking for your opinion)

2 - Are there any legal repurcussions if we can prove to or convince the judge that mother and grandmother intentionally ommitted the fact they had prior knowledge that the matter they were obtaining the protective order for had already been investigated and found to be untrue by DSS?

3 - Would it be wise for father to file a protective order on behalf of daughter against both mother and grandmother for putting her through undue emotional stress?

4 - In your opinion, does father have a good chance at obtaining custody (even if temporary) based on the mother's actions?

4.1 - What would we need to do to prove mother is injurying child with her actions? (father has not seen or spoken to daughter for nearly 3 weeks as a result of mother's actions)

5 - Father now has access to medical records (will be picking them up Friday).  Would there be any legal repurcussions for the mother for lying to the doctor's office stating that father had no legal rights to records? Or is that simply the fault of the doctor's office for denying him access without proper documentation?


I apologize if any of these questions seem repetetive, I am a little frazzled by all of this!

>
>Recently, a judge granted the father overnight visitations
>EOW.  The mother did not want this and lodged a complaint with
>DSS on Nov. 2, stating that on the evening of Oct. 26 (last
>time child was with father) she found blood in their
>daughter's underwear.  She did not have these underwear as
>evidence for DSS.
>
>The mother obtained a temporary order (1 week) from DSS,
>barring the father from access with the child. The mother
>obtained this illegally, by lying to DSS, stating there was no
>court order regarding visitation in effect.
>
>The mother waited until the day this order was so expire(Nov.
>9) to allow DSS to interview child.  DSS found the allegations
>to be untrue, and when the case worker informed the mother of
>this, she said the mother became "enraged".  DSS interviewed
>the father and informed him child had told case worker that
>the mother was telling her bad things about father and
>girlfriend(me).
>
>Not 2 hours after the case worker told mother the findings,
>mother went to district court and obtained a protective order
>against father; making the same allegations and requesting a
>DSS investigation. ***Mother and grandmother failed to inform judge that this matter had already been investigated by DSS*** Father and Mother are to both attend
>hearing final protective order hearing on Friday (Nov.17).
>Father is to have no contact with child until that date.
>
>Mother has also written letter to child's doctor stating
>Father is not to have access to child's medical records.
>Father informed Dr. it was illegal to refuse him access, the
>Dr. still denied the access.
>
>Father's lawyer has filed multiple counts of contempt against
>mother for violating court order.

   We are located in Maryland

A few more questions...

 1 - Since the mother lied to DSS to obtain a letter barring father from contact with child for one week, is it likely she will be found in contempt for violating the visitation agreement? ( I know you are not a mind reader, just looking for your opinion)

2 - Are there any legal repurcussions if we can prove to or convince the judge that mother and grandmother intentionally ommitted the fact they had prior knowledge that the matter they were obtaining the protective order for had already been investigated and found to be untrue by DSS?

3 - Would it be wise for father to file a protective order on behalf of daughter against both mother and grandmother for putting her through undue emotional stress?

4 - In your opinion, does father have a good chance at obtaining custody (even if temporary) based on the mother's actions?

4.1 - What would we need to do to prove mother is injurying child with her actions? (father has not seen or spoken to daughter for nearly 3 weeks as a result of mother's actions)

5 - Father now has access to medical records (will be picking them up Friday).  Would there be any legal repurcussions for the mother for lying to the doctor's office stating that father had no legal rights to records? Or is that simply the fault of the doctor's office for denying him access without proper documentation?


I apologize if any of these questions seem repetetive, I am a little frazzled by all of this!

I have heard that even in cases where sexual abuse is actually occurring, there is not always physical evidence of such.

 Also, as for the testimony part, the case worker has been subpeonaed to appear at the hearing on the Friday. Although, she is not allowed to repeat what was said by the little girl in her interview with her.  She is only allowed to state her opinions/conclusion on the matter.

1-Are you saying we would have to obtain testimony from someone, or physical evidence (video, tape recording) of the BM admitting to the allegations being false??

I may be misinterpretting your words, if so, I apologize. I am just a little confused on how to prove something that never happened...never happened.

>1-What are any possible repurcussions for mother for lying to
>DSS?

She could be prosecuted for filing a false report, but it's highly unlikely on the first report. If you want anything else favorable from the DSS incident, then you had better subpoena the case worker to your hearing along with a copy of the DSS report. Otherwise, the outcome of that incident will be objectionable as hearsay and may be excluded as evidence (or may not, but I wouldn't want to chance the exclusion).

You could sue the other parent in civil court for defamation and intentional infliction of emotional distress, but unless she has some assets that you could execute against, you'ld probably never collect any money from her. And, you'ld have to bear your own attorney fees.

---We have a copy of the DSS report, Father's lawyer is going to subpeona case worker to appear.  Mother does not have any assets as of this moment.  But father and mother in still in the process of divorce, could he receive reimbursement from her share of the equity if defamation of character can be proven?  We do know from a third party that mother has also spoken to people she works with claiming to them that father is a child molester, etc.


>2- What are any possible repurcussions for mother for filing
>for protective order after DSS concluded the investigation and
>informed her no abuse had taken place.

If you prove that her allegations are based solely on the DSS report, which found no evidence of abuse, then she could be found to have perjured herself in her declaration to the court, and sanctioned for contempt, or referred to the DA for prosecution.

It depends on the specific facts alleged; I can't really assess the likelihood of a sanction without reading both the DSS report and the parent's petition/motion for a protective order.

----In the protective order petition, the mother states that the child told the maternal grandmother that the father was sexually molesting her.  No where in the petition do they make any mention of DSS having JUST investigated this matter.

  The DSS report states that the mother and grandmother of the child alleged to have found blood in the child's underwear, however they waited an entire week to bring this issue to DSS, and did not have the underwear (which you would think they would save, if these allegations had any truth to them).

Also, the mother had mentioned to the child's doctor she suspected sexual abuse was taking place, the child was examined and although the doctor also found no physical evidence of abuse, he was legally obligated to notify DSS, but stated that he had found no evidence of this either.

>
>3- Will the fact that the mother has made numerous attempts in
>the past to keep child away from father work against her in
>emergency hearing?

There is the truth -- and there is what you can prove to the court. Frequently, these are not the same. You are asking me all sorts of questions, based on your assertion of certain facts as true, but you are not telling me how you intend to prove these facts to the court.

If you can't prove to the court that the mother has routinely frustrate father's exercise of parenting time, then it doesn't matter what the truth is. So, the question for you is: WHat proof do you intend to offer for all of the defenses that you intend to present?

------We have documented numerous instances of the mother withholding visitation.  
The mother has also admitted to doing so in front of lawyers and a judge, stating excuses that cannot be proven and/or are matters of her personal opinion.

Such as: daughter stated she did not want to go with father--so mother denied father access to child, mother believed child was not ready to stay the night, and thought that father would try to keep her, so would not allow father to see or speak to child.  Mother has negative opinion of father's girlfriend (me) so admitted to only allowing father to visit daughter in mother's home under her supervision, etc etc.  

>
>4-Will the fact that the child has primarily resided with
>mother affect the judges ruling on custody, even taking into
>account the mental and emotional trauma the mother is causing
>by keeping child away from father?

This is a temporary hearing. The judge must first find that there has been a substantial change in circumstances, which means clear and convincing evidence of something negative happening in the children's life. Once again, it comes down to the respective parties' proof.

No proof = no changes.

----The mother is attempting to prove that the father is sexually molesting the child.  DSS has found this to be untrue.  The father is alleging that the mother and grandmother are damaging the mental and emotional well being of child.  Child told case worker that both mother and grandmother have told her negative things about father and father's girlfriend.

Also, the lengths mother has taken to keep daughter away from father have prevented father from seeing or speaking to daughter for nearly 3 weeks.

>5- Does Father have any chance of being reimursed for legal
>fees accrued while fighting mother's false allegations and
>contempt?

If father demonstrates that every allegation of irreparable harm to the children/mother, made by mother is false, then the action will be dismissed, and father should be able to obtain attorney fees. Otherwise, not.

It's frequently very difficult to completely disprove every allegation, especially in the absence of objective third party evidence. Here, however, you have the opportunity to get the DSS report and case worker to testify as to what prompted this protective order hearing.


I'd say, that the case worker's presence at the hearing is KEY to all of your positive outcomes.

---What do you mean by 'objective third party evidence"?

>
>6- Does the father have any chance of receiving temporary full
>custody, based on the contempt and false allegations mother
>has committed?

You are asserting all sorts of things as if they are established facts, when, they are not. It all comes down to what you can prove to the judge. The matter is very much in your hands at the moment, based on the facts you've presented.

Background:

I am dealing with a bio mother who has made every attempt to hinder a regular visitation schedule of a 5 year old girl with her bio father(my boyfriend).  

The parents have been separated almost two years.  Father has only had one overnight visitation with child, because the mother continually denies access.  The mother has come to our house and thrown fits, and also told child she is "too young" and that she would "be so lonely without her" if she stayed the night with father.

Recently, a judge granted the father overnight visitations EOW.  The mother did not want this and lodged a complaint with DSS on Nov. 2, stating that on the evening of Oct. 26 (last time child was with father) she found blood in their daughter's underwear.  She did not have these underwear as evidence for DSS.

The mother obtained a temporary order (1 week) from DSS, barring the father from access with the child. The mother obtained this illegally, by lying to DSS, stating there was no court order regarding visitation in effect.

The mother waited until the day this order was so expire(Nov. 9) to allow DSS to interview child.  DSS found the allegations to be untrue, and when the case worker informed the mother of this, she said the mother became "enraged".  DSS interviewed the father and informed him child had told case worker that the mother was telling her bad things about father and girlfriend(me).

Not 2 hours after the case worker told mother the findings, mother went to district court and obtained a protective order against father; making the same allegations and requesting a DSS investigation.  Father and Mother are to both attend hearing final protective order hearing on Friday (Nov.17). Father is to have no contact with child until that date.

Mother has also written letter to child's doctor stating Father is not to have access to child's medical records.  Father informed Dr. it was illegal to refuse him access, the Dr. still denied the access.

Father's lawyer has filed multiple counts of contempt against mother for violating court order.

1-What are any possible repurcussions for mother for lying to DSS?

2- What are any possible repurcussions for mother for filing for protective order after DSS concluded the investigation and informed her no abuse had taken place.

3- Will the fact that the mother has made numerous attempts in the past to keep child away from father work against her in emergency hearing?

4-Will the fact that the child has primarily resided with mother affect the judges ruling on custody, even taking into account the mental and emotional trauma the mother is causing by keeping child away from father?

5- Does Father have any chance of being reimursed for legal fees accrued while fighting mother's false allegations and contempt?

6- Does the father have any chance of receiving temporary full custody, based on the contempt and false allegations mother has committed?

>why not contact the doctors and give them DH's medical
>insurance info and have them re-submit the claims. Let the
>courts know that the dr did not have DH's insurance info and
>you have contacted them to resubmit the claims
>
>Just a thought.
>
>I would also specify in the court order the DATE the forms are
>to be giving to DH and if BM fails to do so, then he should
>not be responsible for them.
>
>Just my opinion
>**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

BF suggested to BM that she contact the doctor/insurance and do just that.  She is claiming she has already tried speaking with SD's doctor and that the fees are as they stand, and that's that.  I don't believe this is so, it just doesn't sound right.
I will suggest to BF that he call and speak to the Dr. on Monday...I just find it so ridiculous that we have to constantly clean up her stupid messes.  She doesn't even notify BF about the appointments...which she is legally obligated to do, and he asks her constantly about them and about where the statements are, yet she waits until a couple months before a new court date is set to drop all this stuff on him.  I know it needs to be sorted out and that is what is most important..and it's a moot point, I guess, but why isn't she responsible for sorting out the messes she makes?
As for the date...no specific date is specified but it does that AT THE END OF EACH QUARTER, which is obviously every 3 months for anyone who can do math...she works for a bank, you think she'd understand the concept...

When it comes down to it...money is money, it's going to be spent on something anyway, and if it's for SD (whether it's truly a need or not) we will pay it, but I see it as just another attempt by BM to put additional stress on our lives and to have some B.S. "issue" to bring up in court to try to take away of the important things that are going on...

My BF has a parenting plan which states that BM is to submit quarterly statements to him for reimbursement for 1/2 of SD's copays and extraordinary medical expenses.  This was drafted over a year ago and BM gave us the first statement last week.  She is asking for immediate reimbursement for over $500 in medical expenses.  Her lawyer has already sent us a letter demanding reimbursement immediately or they will file for contempt of court.  Is BF responsible for immediate payment?  I told him he should pay  her for 1/2 of whatever expenses were incurred in the last 3 months, since that is the only quarter for which she has submitted a statement in a timely manner, and that they need to figure out a reasonable repayment plan for the rest, since it seems ridiculous that he is expected to pay for an entire year's worth of medical expenses in a two month period.
However, this is an additional problem.  BM and BF both have medical coverage for SD.  In July BM's insurance maxed out (explained in next paragraph) and reason for say that she could have just used the insurance card she has from DH for SD's appointments...well, she didn't.  And now she is asking DH to reimburse her for half of the medical expenses she incurred because of her neglecting to use his insurance.  This amount totals more than half of the $500+ she is requesting from BF.  
BM takes SD to the doctor and dentist CONSTANTLY, typically it is over nothing, or to try to get the doctor against BF in some way...EX: we got medical records from the last 5 appointments SD had at her doctor and in each one the doctor has in his notes that BM and her mother were asking the doctor if he thought "stress from being with her father overnight" could be the cause of whatever ailment (real or imagined) SD was 'suffering' from.

Question 1:  Do you think BF should be responsible for paying the additional medical fees when they were only incurred because BM refused to use his insurance for SD when she knew her's had maxed out?

BF and BM are about to go back to court...which BM knows and I think all of this is just a ploy to try to get the first 'jab' in.  They have been seeing a parent coordinator for over a year now and BM has consistently refused to give BF any additional visitation than what was in their initial court order...which in my opinion, working out additional visitation was the reason the courts ordered them into mediation in the first place...right?
Well, since BM has freaked out constantly in all of their sessions, the coordinator has ordered her into therapy, and BM is now on some sort of medication which she will not speak of other than that she is on it.  BF has been asking for shared custody, BM has admitted in their meetings with the parent coordinator that she doesn't want SD to have additional overnights with BF because she(BM) has 'panic attacks' when she is away from SD overnight.  However, this past week, BM went out of town for 4 days without notifying BF and left SD in the care of her mother...who lied to BF about why she, rather than BM was picking up SD (she said BM was in a group therapy session that was running late).  We did not find out that she was out of town (went to Mardi Gras) until the day she was to return.  BF had to go to BM's mom's house to be able to speak to SD since BM and her mother refused to answer or return any of the calls he made in those 4 days to speak with SD.  It is in their court order that each parent is to have the right of first refusal, it is also in their order that each parent is to make time each day for the child to speak to the parent they are not with, if the parent calls.  DH has records of making multiple calls each day to three different numbers...BM admitted in their parent coordination meeting that she did not answer his calls or tell him she was leaving town because...and this is a direct quote... "I didn't want you ruining my weekend"

Question 2:  Do you think this will have any affect on the decision of the judge when they go back to court?

I would think it would...most especially because SD admitted to BF that she wasn't supposed to tell us that BM was not with her last weekend because "mommy would get in trouble"

BM has a very long track record of manipulating SD and I think it is high time it ended.  The parent coordinator is making appointments for SD to go see a therapist to address these issues, and BM has already told her and BF that SD "will not be attending" as it is apparently "an unecessary stress"

What do you think of all this?  I'm at a loss.  The courts have failed us in the past...I hope that with the parent coordinator laying witness to all of this that BM will finally be seen for what she is, but I have my doubts.

Any opinions/advice?