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Thank You!!!  Yes, that is how I was raised.  The thing that is bothering me now is that if she (BM)doesn't get what she wants in her time frame she pulls out!  And she won't tell you what her time frame is until it's too late.  We don't get to see the girls all that often so(about once a month if we are lucky) I am really looking forward to week with them.  We really haven't had a chance to bond with the youngest one who is almost 5 months old, but the 18 month old, DH says 'she's granny's girl".  She wants to be around me all the time, if I sit down, she has to be right there and if I'm in the kitchen she wants to be right there with me!  She doesn't care for grandpa that much, don't know if it is his deep voice or what!
Again, Thank you!

My step son called me 2-3 weeks ago and said that his former GF sent him a text message asking if he or his dad could take the girls for a week as her dad was having surgery.  I told my step son that yes, I would watch the girls.  Well Monday the phone rang and I couldn't get to it, it was his former gf.  Surprisingly she left a message saying that she just wanted to verify that we would watch the girls and wanted to know about transportation (dropping them off and picking up).  I never called her back because the way I see it, my step son called us to ask if we would watch his girls and he should be the one communicating with her.  She didn't call us and ask us to watch the girls, she asked him to ask us.  It is my understanding that he told her we would watch the girls that week.  Well she tried calling back later in the afternoon and DH was here and saw it was her calling and didn't answer it.  DH called his son and told him to get in touch with her and make arrangements.  
I just want to know if 'my way of thinking' was the right thing to do.
Thanks

My step son is now living with us.  He has 2 children, they live with their mother.  He has court ordered visitation every other weekend.  Well she sent him a text message after the last weekend telling him that there was a parent teacher conference the next night and it was court ordered that he go.  This is false, so since he didn't go due to work, she is denying him his weekends until they go to court again.  As near as he can figure, they don't have another court date, unless she makes one as she wants to change their last name to hers and he won't sign the papers so she says she is taking him to court over that.
He went to the county court house where she lives and tried to file for an emergency hearing this week and was told the earliest possible time wouldn't be until February!  
He is so broke it isn't funny.  He can't afford his attorney and we can't afford to give him any more money.
He has called the police in the past when she didn't show up at the court ordered agreed drop off pick up spot.  But what can he do??!!

Thanks for any all responses.

So since he doesn't have any rights as of right now, she can do anything she wants to do?  Does that include overwhelming him with text messages and voice mails to the point that his voice mail is full and so are his text messages?  Would this be considered harrassment?

The BM can do whatever she darn well pleases and there is absolutely nothing the BF can do about it UNTIL after the first visit to court?

If the father has been documenting eveything before they go to court can that be used to help him?

He is not paying child support just yet, but he has been served papers for that and visitation.  They don't go to court until the end of April, which I personally feel is bogus!  that would make it 3 months that he has to wait and she is jerking him around and there is nothing he can do.  That is really a shame for the kids involved.

Thanks

Do you have to have a paternity test if it is not contested?

If the BM agrees to let the child spend time with the dad and at the last minute backs out, can't the attorney do anything about that?

I know that an unmarried father has no rights until a judge says so, but is it true that an attorney really can't do anything for you until after you go to court?

Thanks

This may get rather long as I don't know how to keep short what I want to get across, so bear with me PLEASE.

My step son has 2 children, he was supposed to have them this weekend and then leave them with us for next week.  BM calls me this morning asking is it true that I don't need any clothes, I said yes, I have plenty.  She asked me if step son was bringing kids over this weekend, I said yes.  Half hour after that I find out that she wants the kids back by 8:00 Sunday morning so SHE can get them to us by 9:00.  Now remember the kids would already be here, but she wanted their dad to leave here at 7:00 drive them back to her, about an hour long drive, so she could load them into her car, drive back this way and have us meet her 1/2 way.  Step son sent her a text message saying fine, I won't take the girls this weekend.  So now we have to meet her half way and pick the kids up.  Step son has an attorney, we told him to call the attorney, let them deal with it.  They have not been to court yet for the temporary hearing.  They were not married.  We find out about 4:30 that step son never called his attorney, said he fell asleep with the phone in his hand.  He works nights.
 
Ok, as a grandparent will his attorney talk with us?  Step son, in my opinion is being harrassed and says he is documenting everything, but not going to his attorney with all this (as far as we know).  Would I be meddling to call his attorney?  
Does anyone have any suggestions for getting step son more motivated to keep more in contact with his attorney?

I know that this is his problem, and we are just trying to help, but how far do we go?

I am at a loss here.
Thanks for any and all suggestions.

Thank you so much!  This is extremely helpful.
 Thank you! :)

He has not given her any money since they were living together.  That is what I was referring to, wondering about the debt and if it is brought up will the court ask her to share the burden...unfortunately it sounds like everything was in his name.  
Other than checking his credit is there another way for him to find out if she has other debts in his name?  He said he has no idea what else she has out there and he is basically waiting to be contacted by the creditors.