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Thank you for your reply. This probably doesn't qualify as neglect but think it would be a valid point. Child is doing very poorly in school, despite being a bright kid, b/c not doing homework. Has been going on for a while now. Mother doesn't seem to be interested in pursuing this area and DH is trying his best during his visitation times. Plus, child always complains about having to go back to Mother's house and has been complaining about it for years. This, despite the fact that she lets child stay home from school on a regular basis and isn't pushing homework issue and told teachers to put him in a less challenging math class. School refused b/c child has tested at high level in math. Child knows DH would require homework to be done and school attendance.

Hello,
I wondered if anyone knew how old a child has to be to request a change in physical custody. We live in NH and child in question is 13 and probably wants to live with DH rather than his mother. We don't want to broach the subject with child until sure that it's a possibility.
Thank you.

Hi,
Thanks so much for all of your suggestions.  I really appreciate them.  She didn't deny him visitation yesterday - probably b/c there's something she wants from him and is waiting to see if he complies (won't happen unless she apologizes for some of her behavior in the past).

The cops here won't do anything about visitiation.  DH has gone to police station a few times and I guess they're polite but say they can't even enter anything in the log.  One cop gave him a long talk about how he should try for custody.  People have absolutely no idea how expensive it is to even fight for more visitation let alone a drawn-out custody battle.

Sorry to hear about some of your situations.  They sound even tougher than ours!

Thanks again for your help.  If she pulls a denial in the future we're going to try to find a third-party witness to go with him.

If I go with him and they don't come out would I count as a witness?  His next visit is tomorrow (Wed.) and I'd have to leave work early to be there.

Hi,
I'm looking for advice about what typically happens during a hearing on motion of contempt for denial of visitation.  DH and I had arguments with BM tonight and she typically denies visitation when she's unhappy with him/us.

DH has never filed a motion of contempt before (he hates confrontation and going to court just tears him up), and I'm trying to get some information about what will happen during the hearing.  Do people typically file these motions after just one denial of visitation?  What sort of things does the judge ask about during the hearing?  Is there any justification for denying visitation?  I know each state is different - we're in NH and I assume nobody on the board is familiar with their law - but I'd just like a general sense about what happens.  DH is terrified and I'm trying to gather info to reassure him.

Thanks!

Just wanted to thank you guys for your advice on my post below about teen-aged SD not visiting.  DH had her little sister invite her over for her birthday celebration this weekend and teen SD called and they talked and she came over for the weekend.  All went well.  Your advice helped jump-start the process - thanks!

Thanks for the advice, we really appreciate it.  I passed along your replies to DH and he's giving it some thought....  I'm sure this situation will sort itself out somehow.

Thanks for your response.  I guess I wasn't clear in my message - sorry.  We don't know whether he should approach her and if so, how best to do this.  Keeping in mind that BM is probably fanning the flames against us on the home front and smiling as she does it.  And we don't want to back off of the issues by saying it's okay to lie to us and backstab DH to BM.  It's just nuts.  If you tell your own kids they've done something wrong then you run the risk of not seeing them.  This never would happen in a family where the parents are together.

Hi,

My teen-aged SD has not visited for a couple of months since getting yelled at by her father and I and DH is feeling badly and missing her very much.  I'm looking for some advice.  She was yelled at for valid reasons.  She has a long history of lying and I finally had it when I was doing a favor for her late at night and she lied to me for no reason. So, I told her I was sick and tired of it. The same night, BM kept calling to yell at DH and SD kept answering the phone and trying to  get DH to talk to BM even though he told her not to answer the phone.  DH also reached his breaking point and told her he knew she was spying on him and reporting back to BM and if he's such a bad father she doesn't have to come visit.  We both later apologized for yelling but didn't back down on the lying and spying issues.  

BM has been PAS'g Skids for years and SD seems to think she walks on water.  Despite all this chaos (and it's usually much calmer here), DH really misses his daughter.  Since that weekend, she hasn't spoken to him or come out to see him when he comes to pick up other SKs.  At this point he's not sure if she's still mad (I think she is) or if she's just busy with her own life.  If it's the latter, he wouldn't mind.  Any ideas on what he should do?  Thanks.

Ref,

Thanks so much for sharing all of that.  It made me feel a little better and I can only hope my SKs are half as smart at figuring it all out.  Although I really have my doubts.  Too bad your Mom can't explain some of this to your SD so she gets a little insight...

Thanks again.