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Hi,

My ex has been unemployed since Sept 2006.  He was informed in July 2006 that this was coming.  We have 50/50 custody and our incomes were around he-70%, me-30% in the CS calculation.  

He received severence pay until November 2006.  He immediately filed for a CS modification in November through his attorney, stating his new unemployment income, with no documentation to support that or his wife's insurance expenses for our 3 children.  I am pro se.  

I asked for several things in our negotiation, such as proof of his numbers, for me to pay CS to him through the Family Support Registry, for my income to be corrected, and for my husband's dental insurance on the children to be considered.  These requests weren't responded to and his attorney filed a motion and hearing request the same day she mailed me the stipluation.

Now we are set to go to mediation as agreed to in our decree, at least 30 days before the hearing in March.  

He has applied to the state trooper cadet program and is awaiting a response as to whether he goes to the camp in July.  Otherwise, he doesn't seem motivated to find regular employment.  He has admitted to working odd jobs for friends to supplement his income.  Occasionally this interferes with his helping me take our daughter to school on the days I work, but I find family to help out instead of paying for daycare.

He has admitted that unemployment made an error and do not consider him eligible for benefits until January, versus November when he filed.  They consider when his severence ran out in November to be the date he was unemployed, instead of the actual layoff date of September.  He has paid me CS for the months of November and December.  

Before I go to mediation, I wanted to know my rights:

1.  Will I have to pay retroactive CS to him for Nov and December even though he did not receive unemployment benefits until January?

2.  What would the mediator/court consider his income for Nov and Dec--his former wages?  

3.  If we go to hearing, is it worth it to mention he has been employed, at least part time, though friends?  I don't know if he is paid under the table.

Thank you so much.  One blessing is that with each thing my ex and his attorney try, the more I get to learn about what I can and cannot do for future reference.

I can get health insurance for the girls through my work for about $40 more per month than his wife is paying.  It would decrease my CS obligation, and if he's not working anyway that makes more sense to me.  I've heard though that if the parent who is ordered to provide coverage has a spouse who can provide coverage, the courts consider that more acceptable for the CS worksheet than for the non-ordered parent to pay the health insurance.

1.  If this goes to hearing by chance, is it worth a shot to ask the court to change the original order so that I am obligated to supply their health insurance coverage?  Or is that considered an unrealted topic to the CS modification at hand?  I guess I would have nothing to lose either way and am probably answering my own question.  :)

Thank you for the opportunity to post here!  You come highly recommended.  Being pro se has beaten me up over the years but I've been told I "need an attorney, but I don't really need an attorney", just someone to help me to not be pushed around.

I've been divorced since 2000, 3 daughters ages 14, 12, 9, 50/50 custody.  My ex has paid support since he makes/made about 2/3 more than I do.  Everything has been split 70/30 in our support orders, but realistically I pay more like 80% of the girls' expenses and keep a spreadsheet to track it.  We live in Colorado.

He was informed in July 2006 that his company would be laying him off in September.  He had severance pay for 8 weeks and now that it has run out he is filing unemployment this week, per the letter from his attorney.  During the severance pay period he has spent his time buying a boat, motors for his Jeep (toy), trips out of state, hunting trips, four wheeling trips, and generally not actively looking for work.

I've heard that he is trying to get into the State Trooper Cadet program which requires testing and takes a while to start, maybe January before he would be earning money while attending the training.

My ex approached me recently to take over our daughter's $200 violin payment and partial summer camp payment, to which I agreed.  He also bought our other daughter a $900 saxophone this summer and asked that I pay him 1/2 the cost in cash. I said I would go in on it with him before I knew how expensive it was, but I sucked it up and paid anyway. A few times we agreed he would pay reduced support to me because I couldn't afford the large amounts up front, or I would cut him a check or pay cash.

This week I received a Stipulation his attorney wants me to sign, where I will be paying him support.  I'm guessing there is probably no way to get around that.  She has already filed a Motion and Hearing request as well, to "preserve retroactive modification" in antipation of my reluctance to respond to the Stipulation request.

The Stipulation does not include proof of what his wife is now paying for the children's healh insurance or my Ex's new income.  He was the one ordered to cover their insurance costs.  It lists my salary as $400 more/month than I make.  In July I went from being a part-time work at home mom (had a baby in '05) to a 24-hour a week hospital job plus kept my work at home job.  

The Stipulation states that if I agree and sign it, they will date it to commence December 1st.  If I don't agree, it will commence retroactively to the date they filed a Motion--November 12th.  If it goes to hearing, they are also asking the court to redetermine each parties pro-rata share of extracurricular activities and extraordinary expenses.

1.  Is it smart to respond to the Stipulation as an attempt to compromise and show effort, and ask for proof of health insurance costs,  proof of his unemployment compensation, and for an adjustment to my income now that I am no longer taking a "voluntary deduction" for having my baby last year?

2.  Is it within reason to ask in the Stipulation to consider in the calculation the $20/month my husband pays to keep the girls on his dental insurance so when orthodontics comes into the picture it covers the extraordinary expense?

3.  If it goes to hearing and I am pro se, does the court care whether he's been spending time and money doing everything but looking for work for over 2 months, or do they only consider him officially unemployed beginning when he starts collecting unemployment money this week?

4.  Would the court care if there is a chance he is only trying to change the order until January or so, and then he'll be earning money again anyway?  Would they ask him about that?

5.  If it goes to hearing, does the court care that I've been paying for everything my ex has asked of me, or is it better to just be quiet?

6.  Is it possible to ask for all current AND future support orders and payments to be made through Family Support Registry?

7.  Would the court frown upon me filing for a support modification as soon as he is employed?  

8.  Can the attorney somewhat threaten me that if I don't Stipulate I will have to pay support as of Nov 12th, but if I do Stipulate they will let me start paying in December?  

9.  Should I forget trying to compromise with the Stipulation and let it go to hearing since it's already been filed anyway?  

10.  What do I need to anticipate will happen regarding this whole pro-rata share business if it goes to hearing?