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Yes, he took all the finacial paperwork with him.  We have a joint account and for months it kept on incurring nsf fees and he refused to pay that as well.  Now that I am getting a paycheck and I had my paycheck automatically deposited into my own account but at the same bank they were trying to take the money out of my account to pay for that one.  I have since changed my direct deposit to another bank out of state. And I can't close that one we had together until I pay all the fees, which is ironic, because it was never set up as a joint account, but it became one when one bank bought out the other.

As far as proof of fooling around, I don't have pictures or anything like that, but I guess in a couple of weeks I can go to the cabin he rented with his girlfriend and take pictures then.

I'm still working on trying to get an attorney who will work with me on that.

Thanks I need all the luck I can get.

Well, when I sued this site it was for his custody they were already divorced.  Now, I'm searching for answers on divorce, how weird it feels.

I have not filed yet, because I want to make sure I have the knowledge to do so.  

The child we have together lives with me and he sees her every other weekend and I see his kids every other weekend as well.  

I am pulling myself up, it's just an very uphill battle, and I just need some help on how to get him to be responsible for the bills he left behind at least for half.  

I have spoken to the mortgage company and they are trying to work with me, but because my credit is so bad now there is limited things to try.

He has his own business so he can say that he doesn't have any money. So he doesn't get a paycheck.  He is currently living with his mom, so i know his expenses can't be much.  I'm just wondering what I need to prove to the judge that he should be held responsible for what he left behind.  If he has money to spend on his current girlfriend and get a cabin in the mountains then he most certainly must have some cash around.  

I can not file for bankruptcy because I filed a few years ago.  

I did not know about the advocate I will look into that, Thanks.

 

It's a long story but I am going to try to put it simple.  I have used this site for years and it helped me get my husband custody of his child and his stepdaughter.  Now, I need advice for myself.  As I said I helped my husband get custody and not to long after that we had a child together, so we had four children between the both of us.  We decided that having me work was just paying for daycare and so we decided that I would stay home with the kids and I also started his company up, so now he had his own business out of the house. Everything was fine for a while but after he had numerous affairs it wasn't so pleasant, but I stayed because of the kids, especially the ones from his previous marriage, their bio mom left and never saw them again, and I was their only constant in their lives, I am mom.  Anyway, after a couple of years of his mis-handling the finances, I had to find a job, and I did, but it required me to travel sometimes.  Well not even one month into my job and I had to make a trip, and he was watching the kids, until I received a call from my 12 year old who said that her stepdad and the kids were packing and moving.  When I came home, he was gone with his two kids.  He didn't pay the mortgage for three months, or the car payment for two months, all the utilities were 2 months behind, he had a business cell phone on my account and didn't pay it, he also didn't pay the taxes from 2006 so I have a tax lien on the house.  My house is pending foreclosure, I'm hiding my car so it doesn't get taken away.  He knew I don't make enough to pay the mortgage on my own and left me in financial strain to say the least.  He doesn't help with daycare for our youngest, he says he will give me money when he has it, meanwhile, I found his profile on-line in which he says he is divorced and he has not even filed, and I also just found out he is planning on renting a cabin in the mountains for two.  He is purchasing misc. items on e-bay such as candy and a bride of chucky doll.  Meanwhile, I am struggling to keep the lights on.  Any advice, I can't afford a lawyer, he has ruined my credit so badly that I can't even get an apartment.  

This is the kind of advice I need.  I appreciate it, and your right without talking to an expert I can't prove anything.  

As far as evidence, I have all their medical records including the latest.   The high cholesterol can be fixed pretty easily, I am really concerned about my son's curve in his spine.  But I will take the records to a neuteral third party, that's a good idea.

I would like to take my son to a doctor myself to have his spine looked at, but my son is my step-son so I don't have custody, and since my ex moved out, he doesn't get me involved in a lot of things now, especially when it comes to school and doctors. Where I used to be the primary caregiver, I have been demoted. :-(

As far as the pictures go, I think I am pretty safe, I gave that information to my attorney's to look at and I am hoping that if they see it will be a problem, I will just go from there.

It sure is hard to prove what you know and what can be proved, it is exhausting for sure.

Thank you for all your great advice.

1. I do have the photos he sent via his cell phone and e-mail.

2. I do have a couple of photos and unfortunately the children have seen this behavior for themselves. The eldest is 13.

3. Your right, I do not have a audio tape so no need to mention.

4. I understand about different parenting styles, and although I prefer the children to do something other than sitting in a car for 8 hours a day I can't change that, but my concern was since they have been subjected to being in the car all day long, they eat a lot of fast food, and now they both have high cholesterol which they never had before. And the nine year old has a curve in his spine, which is concerning because they have always been healthy.  Yes I do have the medical records to show. Ages: 12 and 9.

5. I understand what you mean about not bringing the girlfriend up, I am simply trying to point out that he says he is broke all the time, he knows that our 9 year old needs to see a doctor for the curve in his spine he recently developed and when I ask about if he has been to the doctor he says he can't afford it.  So I am just questioning if you can't afford to get medical attention for the children, then how can you afford these other things.  I really don't care about his girlfriend, I just want to make sure the children get what they need first.  I'm just concerned that's all.

6.  The witness is my daughter who told me how she can tell when she is drunk, because she hangs all over her and it makes her feel uncomfortable.  

I'm not trying to be a jerk at all, I just want what is best for the children and make sure they are going to be okay.  If he wants to spend every dime on her I say go for it, just make sure the children get their needs met first.

I know in a lot of situations pepole tend to focus on themselves, but for me it is only about doing what is best for the children.  I have brought to my attorney a timeline that summarized events that I consider not in the best interest of the children:

1. Sex addiction problem - leaving porn around for the children to see, taking illicit photos and sending them to clients, and unknown people, via cell phone, and e-mail.
2. There have been some instances where I feel that discipline that was handed out was way too harsh and crossed the line, and have left bruises.
3.  Verbal abuse.
4.  Taking children with you to work everyday, which entailed the children being in the car all day long.
5.  Medical issues not being taken care of, because excuse is no money, but bought new girlfriend diamond ring, and bought a new car.
6.  New girlfriend has displayed drunken behavior in front of children.

I am not asking that my ex not have any contact with the children, but I feel for right now it should limited.

I have been notified that I have a final hearing in a couple of weeks, and I am curious to know what I should and should not bring up, document etc.  

My soon to be ex is a master manipulator and has been able to convince all his friends that I am the devil.  But I have e-mails, and pictures of infidelities, my journal of events throughout the years, and when my kids come to visit they tell me things that just make you go HUH? But when I bring these issues up to my lawyer, all he says is that although my soon to be ex has demonstrated poor judgement, no laws have been broken.  I made a parenting plan and my ex told me that there is no way they will agree to anything, either I agree to what they sent over or we battle it out in court.

So what is it that Judges really look at to determine custody.

Thanks

My husband and I are legally married and agree to divorce. My husband has four children. One he has never seen and barely pays child support for, he has been in arrears for years. He has custody of his two other children from a previous marriage. And then we had a child together. One of his children who is 8 year old boy is ADHD+ODD. He is on medication, but is still a hard child to parent to say the least. He can not make good decisions on his own all the time, and needs constant supervision. It took me years and several doctors to convince him that something was wrong and finally I was able to get him on meds. But my question simply is that when our daughter who is two goes to visit with her dad, is there anything I can do to ensure her safety? As it stands right now and has been for years, I have been the one to watch over the kids, and with four it is challenging. But the 8 year old sometimes fights with the two year old, he also acts out a lot. Temper tantrums, were he will throw himself on the floor, kicking and screaming. He started a fire once because he did not get his way, although no harm to anyone or anything it was still scary. He does not urinate were he is supposed to all the time, he steals from others and lies all the time.  

Any suggestions would be great, Thanks.