Messages

CP: Alabama
NCP: Pennsylvania

Problem: NCP conducting inappropriate conversations with my child, committing acts of slander and negatively influencing my child by stating allegations and false accusations. Can I record telephone conversations between them? I looked on the net and I'm not coming up with a whole lot that says I can grant permission on behalf of my child. AL follows the federal law and is a single consent state, however, PA is a All Party consent state. The case will be heard in AL.

Any advice on this subject would be very helpful!
Thanks!
Ajilon

8 years ago my ex filed our uncontested divorce in PA. He decided to try to save money by filing a blanket no fault divorce and failed to disclose to his attorney that we have a child as part of the marriage. No where in my final decree does it mention provisions (ie: custody, visitation or child support) for this child. Now 8 years later, we've come to a point where these issues need to be outlined and perhaps modified.

Prior to our divorce being filed, I relocated with the child (and his assistance) more than 1000 miles away to Alabama. We've been living here for the better part of 8 years consecutively.

My question is, how do I fix this issue? Though I've been allowing my ex vistitation during every school break and he's been voluntarily paying some child support, I'm at a point now where the tension has mounted, he's withholding the CS and I'm afraid to send DD on a visit in fear that I'll never get her back.  Could he be in trouble for failing to disclose that he had a child to his original attorney? Does that render our divorce invalid? Also, over the past 8 years, he's maintained minimal contact with her. Now that he has a new live in gf, he suddenly insists that he has all these "rights" and wants to be a proactive Dad with a child he had little to do with before. How would his sudden interest be perceived?
His voluntary CS has always been about 1/3 of what he should be paying. He's never maintained medical coverage or paid for any medical expenses in the past and now he's insisting that I'm responsible for travel expenses after he's paid travel expenses for the past 8 years in exchange for a low amount of CS.

The situation has radically gotten out of hand. Last night when I came home I heard my DD talking to him on speakphone and he was telling her such awful things about me. I don't think a 9 y/o little girl should have to heard her father repeatedly tell her that her mommy is a horrible person and is lieing to her. What can I do about this? Am I allowed to record these conversations to show the jusge his level of influence and inability to co-parent? I've never said anything negative about her father to her or where she could hear me. It's a policy I've always maintained.

Thanks for any help!
Ajilon

I JUST went through this last year.

No. you can't just up and move. There's a process and it's in your best interest to follow it so you have your bases covered.

It's called  the "Federal Child Relocation Act", was passed in Sept 2003 and it has some serious implications should you violate it. (ie: it could be construed as parental interference and you could lose physical custody if he pushes the issue).

Under this act, you are required to give notice in writing (certified) no less than 60 days prior to the move and provide him with the address, phone number, date of move, school district, etc etc. You are not allowed to move more than 60 miles from him without his permission or a court order. He then has to file an injunction with the court within 30 days of recieving that notice to stop you. If he fails to file such injunction, you have the right to relocate. If not, you have to obtain the court's permission for that relocation.

I know you haven't had a paternity test, but based on the fact that you were pregnant during the marriage, it can be assumed that he is the father to your child. You have been allowing him visitation and have even allowed him overnight visits. In some ways, you have established a father/child relationship with him. This can be used against you in court if he decides to push it. The best advice I can give you is to seek the advice of an attorney in your area and follow the steps as outlined by the Federal Courts.