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Messages - abyss_walker

#1
Father's Issues / RE: Maybe ... just maybe ...
Mar 04, 2007, 12:51:18 PM
We will try something like this, but I'm not sure she will go for it.  She has obtained the services of the free legal aide here, if she asked them, would they possibly object to it, tell her its not in her bests interests?  We have already offered to keep the child for a bit while she went up there to get on her feet (she has no job lined up, no place to live lined up, no money to obtain a place to live beforehand) and she outright objected saying he has no rights to her (the child) since there is no custody or visitation agreement.  We even offered to keep her for awhile so she (the mother) wouldn't have to move.  She is really stupid , but since she has consulted the free legal aide, she's starting to throw legal stuff in his face pretending she knows what she's talking about.  for 3 years she wanted nothing to do with this child, left her home alone at night while she went out to party, and left the child with her grandmother, the neighbors, anyone who would watch her for days at a time.  Its only since she's become unemployed and no longer has the money to party that she all of a sudden wants something to do with this child.  And with this newfound wanting to be a mother phase she's going through, I think it would take a miracle to get the child away from her.  Couldn't she throw a fit a month or so after she gets to New Hampshire saying we abducted the child?  Would a notarized agreement like that protect us from any alligigatons (sp?) like that?
Thanks again for all your help!
#2
Father's Issues / Mother Moving Out of State
Mar 02, 2007, 12:46:56 AM
This may get lengthy and I'm sorry for that.  I am writing this on my boyfriend;s behalf, I am trying everything I can think of to help him with this.
He has a 3 year old daughter born in January 2004, they were never married, they never dated actually.  In 2006 the state of arkansas gave him a paternity test (along with 3 other guys, but that's irrelevant here) and he found out that he is the father and they immediately filed for Child Support because she was recieving state aid.  Now he's paying CS here and having to pay back New Hamshire (where she is originally from) everything she got while on state aid there before he even knew there even was a child - he didn't know she had a baby until the baby was almost a year old, she was just here to visit for a weekend and went back to NH and didn't return until the kid was almost a year old.  Because it was the state that took him to court, custody and visitation was never brought up.  We did get to keep her every weekend so she could go out and party unless the mother was mad at one of us, then she denied us keeping her that weekend and when we dropped her off the mother always thanked us for "baby-sitting" the kid, it was never "I'm glad she got to spend time with her father", he was just a free babysitter to her.  Yesterday we get a call from her saying she is thinking about going back to NH to visit for 2 months.  Today we get a call saying she is going back to NH permanently and taking the kid with her.  She claims its because she cannot find a job here and they keep denying her Food Stamps here and she knows she can get both there.  She has not worked since October 2006 and we have been paying CS along with buying her, her mother, her step-dad, the kid, and another woman living with them food every month (all of them refuse to work), and buying the kid clothes, shoes, etc.  She refuses to ask the OCSE to dissolve the CS case when she moves saying he needs to "step up and be a man" and that if he wants to quit paying CS he should give up all parental rights to his daughter, we were like WTF, he's been paying CS since July 2006 when it was court order after paternity was established, kept her every weekend since April 2006, and has bought her every necessity she has needed, plus supported the mother and all the other people in the household when she refused to work.   Giving up parental rights is out of the question for him, he loves that child and one day would like to get full custody of her, the mother is unstable, cannot hold a job, and just plain psycho.  But he also does not see why he should give her 400 a month when he knows the kid doesn't get any of it (she bought a new car several months after CS started and the CS payments go towards her car payment which is almost 400 a month while the kid runs around in clothes that are way too small - size 12 and 18months for a 3 year old when she fits comfortably in a 3T and shoes 2 sizes too small!) and when she refuses to let him see the kid once she moves.  We called the only place in the state that offers free legal help but they are already representing her and cannot represent him because it would be a conflict of interest.  Is there any way we can delay her moving back to NH (she is wanting to move in 2 weeks) without having to hire a lawyer, we simply cannot afford one, the cheapest one we found wants a 1200 retainer and 200 an hour.  We want to be able to get some sort of custody of the kid, either joint of full and have t court ordered she cannot take the kid out of state, or at least keep her from taking the kid out of state until all the court stuff is done.  Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.