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That entire story is disturbing.....I'm truely sorry.  What is wrong with the court system that things like this happen?  Why is it that because she (or any woman) is the mother they can do and say whatever they want and the male is left to suffer and more importantly the CHILD is left to suffer?

I'm not sure where you live, but in GA at the age of 11 the child can have a "say" in the custody arrangement and at 14 they can be the sole decision maker in who has custody.  You should check the laws in your state, seems like your son could change the arrangement just because of his age.  She seems like a terribly angry person and it's a shame she is taking it out on your (her) son.

wow, I think your SS's BM has a twin sister...and I married her.  My son is 16 months old and about a month ago I was informed that I was "irresponsible" because I fed my son grapes.......  I was told that his body was too young to be able to breakdown grape skins and that "a lot of grape skins were in his poop when I broke it apart".........I informed her that my body (37 years old) must also be too young because when I "poop" after eating grapes I too have undigested grape skins.  Then I asked why she would be inspecting a solid poop?  She said she always checks his poop......is that not weird?  My son is also 16 months old and she refuses to feed him anything but 2nd stage Gerber food.  Everyone else I know with children are in shock that my son still doesn't eat "table" food and so am I.  Every other child I know of at that age is eating normal food or at least mixing with baby food.

My wife reads books (there one in particular which the name escapes me) and thinks that it is the end all / be all.  She is just clueless.  My wife (hopefully soon to be ex-wife) needs help and while I don't fear for my sons safety or well being in the sense that he would be mistreated or harmed I worry about his well being related to his ability to cope in the world when his mother is just over him 24/7 and doesn't let him be a child.

Sorry, you were nice enough to have responded to my post and I actually didn's bookmark the site and couldn't find my way back, but now I am.  We are not divorced as of yet, the agreement we have was a temporary agreement that I was "forced" to sign on December 22, 2006 or risk not seeing my son for the holidays.  My wife and her attorney came into a meeting with my attorney and I and stated that before they discussed anything they wanted to know what I was going to be paying and how much I wanted parenting time I wanted and if it wasn't enough money or if I wanted more than a day or two with my son they were going to get up and walk out.  For some, unknown reason my attorney didn't stand up for me and I, quite frankly, was scared I was going to spend the holidays without my son (I have no other family where I live) it was a less than ideal situation.  I have been trying to get my wife to suggest a settlement because I REALLY, REALLY want to be divorced and she is delaying the divorce (she has asked me at least three times if I wanted to get back together - which is just absolutely insane) because she cant afford it.  I was trying to work out a settlement without the attorneys involved, but she is just too unreasonable.  She's mentally unbalanced, but I really don't feel like she is a threat to my son, she is just completely irrational regarding everything.  It's always an arguement to be her way only.

I'm going to try and keep it short...as possible:
My wife and I dated for 7 years prior to marriage.  During that time I basically paid for EVERYTHING, home, car, car insurance, health insurance, food, pets, vacations, our $30k wedding (didn't even get a present from her parents - and no they are not poor), etc., etc.  We got married and she was pregnant within 4 months.  During the pregnancy she had drastic mood changes (not being rude or mean, but she wasn't the nicest person prior to getting pregnant anyway) and once our son was born she became almost unbearable.  She started telling lies about different small things, I couldn't do anything right, she supervised me when I changed my son's diaper, was criticized when I fed him, etc.  Not to mention she ran up a bunch of credit card bills ($20k in about 5 months) and in the mean time decided to no write checks for my debt related items (i.e. credit cards - I know I should never have given her the check book, it was a poor decision on my part) and almost sent me into bankrupcy.  We obviously started having serious issues in the relationship and I told her that I wasn't happy and wanted a divorce.  She did not really respond at all and then asked to talk on a Thursday evening and informed me she was moving out the next day while I was at work.  She did and she took EVERYTHING with her including our son.  She left, not me and took our son with her and told me that our son would always be with her, not me.  We tried a Collaborative Divorce solution, but it didn't work (quite honestly both our attorneys were useless) and now I am getting screwed.  I see my son 8 hours on Sunday, pay her $1,250 in child support and have absolutely no rights.  She calls me every week and tells me that I must tell her exactly what I did with my son, what time I did it, what I fed him, what time he went down for a nap, where he slept, etc.  It's actually become comical - I let my collegues in work hear the messages.  I am trying to hire a new attorney, but quite frankly none of the attorney's I have spoken with have made me feel like I have a chance to have 50/50 parenting time and they all basically say I will get some visitation and have to pay child support to my wife.  I don't mind supporting my son (actually I want to), but why can't we have 50/50 parenting time and we just go our separate ways.  She chose not to get an education and career, why should I be punished for working my butt of to try and suceed?

Gosh, now I'm really scared.  I split with my wife (actually she cleared out the house and took my son while I was at work and moved in with her parents - which is where she needs to be) in August and from what I can read from your posting my "wife" is just like your ex-wife.  I have a temporary agreement that was agreed to under duress (It was Friday, December 22nd and I was told if I didn't agree to it I wouldn't be seeing my son for the holidays) and it's just ridiculous.  I have been denied time with my son at my wife's discretion, denied make-up times at my wife's discretion, paying way beyond a reasonable support amount leaving me with a negative cash flow every month, my wife doesn't want to work.  

I guess my question for you is "do you have a recommendation?"  Unfortunately we were together for about 10 years (only married for 2) and my son is only 15 months old, but she basically spent every penny I earned and left me with nothing but bills and future expenses.  Any suggestions?

I'm sorry for what you have gone through, I know my ordeal has only been about 6 months and not 13 years, you must be totally drained (financially and emotionally).  Sorry.

Brandon's Dad