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Messages - lightspeed

#1
Father's Issues / RE: New dad in despair..
Jun 07, 2007, 08:11:15 PM
Your point well taken, please understand I love my fiancee dearly... I can't emphasize that point enough.  I'm under an immense amount of duress, and I'm not simply "helping out" with my baby.  I've been here everyday, all day.  Number one.  I'm fearing this situation because she appears better even to her therapist, but I cannot rely from moment to moment on her mood or intentions.  I worry about this because my son will have to depend on her entirely once I return to work, and she won't accept the help my family is trying to offer.  In fact, she has become very adamant against my family's involvement, without warrant.  I am always upfront with my fiancee, I'm simply pursuing this information should I be placed in a position of no resort.  In no way do I see this as an opportunity to make off with son, I want her involved always.  This story is so much more complex than I've indicated, and I understand your assessment is of course warranted given what I've said.  I just need input on what my options may be should the situation worsen.  I'm simply asking for advice.  
#2
Father's Issues / RE: New dad in despair..
Jun 05, 2007, 08:01:19 PM
>Discreetly, go see a lawyer and discuss this issue.  Do it
>now so that you can have your bases covered.  
>
>I dont know about CA, but here in VA....there is a state
>lawyer referral line where you can call and they will look up
>lawyer's in your area that are signed up under them...and will
>give you a 30 minute session for only $35.....normal fee is
>$75+ for initial consultation, so it saves money. You may want
>to google to see if your state has a lawyer referral service
>if cost is an issue.
>
Thank you kindly, I'll definitely look into that.  Can anyone else offer up any advice?  How about the statistics?  Would I just be sacrificing my rights to my own child if I pursue this?  I am losing hope day by day that my situation will improve, and I feel the baby's mother has extremely distorted thoughts.  I need to secure my son's safety and well-being, but I also need to remain part of his life.  Has anyone out there gone through something similar or won custody of their child as a father?  Please give me some hope here.
#3
Father's Issues / New dad in despair..
Jun 04, 2007, 10:56:28 AM
Following the birth of my son, my finacee developed severe post-partum depression and insomnia.  I was caught extremely off-guard by this, and have since assumed a huge role in caring for my new son, i.e. taking nights, taking day shifts when my fiancee has her psychiatry appointments, accompanying the infant to pediatric appointments, etc.  It has all been extremely exhausting, though very endearing.    

I love my fiancee dearly and have stood by her without question, yet unfortunately, the situation has gone from bad to worse.  As my fiancee's condition has begun to "improve" (no insomnia, no severe depressive symptoms) she has become increasingly irrational and paranoid.  I'm so distraught over her instability, that I am fearing she will not be fit to care for our son in the near nor distant future, and I question whether we should wed at all.

Though we are unwed, my son's birth certificate bears my name, he has my surname, and I believe we signed a form establishing my paternity.  Should this situation worsen, I fear I may need to separate from my fiancee and assume custody of my son.  Are there any further steps I may need to take should these fears become reality?  Can fathers such as myself actually win custody?  I would be devastated if my son were to fall into her custody should I pursue this, but I know women usually win custody in CA.  Please help with any advice.