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Messages - kahumano

#1
I really couldn't care less what his legal rights are. If he wants to take me to court then I would have no choice of course. But after they review everything he would then be stuck with supervised visits. Maybe that's why he is agreeing to go along with my demands.

#2
Nope, not playing games. Her safety and welfare comes first. I won't air his dirty laundry on here but lets just say I have reasons that justify my concerns. Actually, I doubt he would ever take me to court because they probably would order supervised visits.
#3
Nah.. not road blocks. I just love my baby girl enough not to just drop her off with a complete stranger. And I love her enough to do all I can to make sure she is going to be in safe hands. Sounds like you just have a little bitterness concerning your own experience maybe. Hey, this is a man who abandoned his daughter. I don't really care what his legal rights are until he takes me to court. Until then I will do whatever it takes for them to have a relationship but also make sure she's in good hands.
#4
Sorry but I wouldn't to that to my baby girl. Every child has a right to know their parents. And I'm not going to make her pay for his mistakes. When she gets older I will be able to honestly say that I tried.
I'm not doing this for him, I'm doing it for HER.
#5
THANK YOU Jade!!
I haven't been able to respond to any messages lately. For some reason it wouldn't let me post. Anyways......I have nothing against fathers. I know single fathers who have raised their babies and did a great job! But like Jade said I also was a nanny and daycare worker in the past and grew up taking care of children. So I had experience. My fear was because my daughters father doesn't have ANY experience. Not only that but he doesn't know anything about her. Yes lately he has been spending time with her but he hardly even speaks to her. He has recently asked to be able to take her on his own and  I DID AGREE. Being that they have only known each other since July 1,2007 I did have a few requests first that I thought was fair. And he agreed to them.
1) I wanted to be able to come over before hand to his place so I can see where she will be.
2) I wanted to meet the live in girl friend since she will be spending time with Laila. I thought this was fair considering I,myself watch who I bring into my OWN house.
3) It's only to be a few hours at a time at first.

I definitely didn't expect any men to come on here bashing me I will tell you that. Especially when I see alot of women (some of my friends) who do everything against their ex out of spite.
 And to gerogiadad I really think I'm being fair. Turn the shoes around and how would you react if you hadn't heard from the other parent for 2 years and 9 months and all of a sudden they show up? I seriously doubt you would just hand over your 2 year old baby just because they have the same blood.
He may be her father but unfortunatley he's still someone she DOES NOT know. And that was HIS choice as I have done everything I could over the past 2 years to involve him. And believe it or not involve his girlfriend of 3 years.
#6
Thanks so much for the link. I'll go read it. About the child support. I've been receiving that since she was 7 months old. Of course I still struggle because that barely covers daycare. I have asked in the past if he would help with that but he has refused. So I just dropped it.
I have started letting him know about her health and things like that. The girlfriend issue isn't a big deal. For some reason he won't let her meet "our" daughter even though they have been together almost 3 years.
I have invited them to dinner and also to go to the beach with us. But her father has backed out of those. I'm definitely not going to be the one to rush their relationship. Yes, I want whats best for her but get real, I'm still a WOMAN. And unfortunately, yeah, we're bi*ches.
But I can honestly say I haven't done anything to prevent or damage the relationship for my daughter.
My friends always thought I was mental for continuing to ask him to see her for the past 2 years.
Anyways, I'm babbling now. hahaha So thank you for all the advice!! Now, I'm going to go check the link you sent!
#7
Thanks for the advice, I'm new at this. hahaha Thankfully, I did the child support thing as soon as she was born. Whewwww and it took 7 months to get that finalized. Even so, I pretty much support her cause the support check barely covers daycare. But I try not to even involve money in this, no matter how I feel.
Looks like I need to do ALOT of reading on Florida visitation law.
I don't have a problem with visitation per se........I just have some reservations.
1) He's never taken care of children.
2) He and his girlfriend smoke in the house
3) She currently has health problems (respiratory) and will soon have surgery.
4) Do I have a right insisting on meeting his girlfriend? Not trying to be nasty but I would like to know who is staying with my baby girl.
#8
Hey all! I was hoping for a little advice. I'm a single mother of a 2 year old girl. Our relationship ended before she was born. For the past 2 years I have constantly asked her father if he wants to meet her. Finally, a few weeks ago he started showing interest. It started with a birthday card :-) He says he would like to be there for her. It would be great if he's serious about this. I do know him well enough to know it may present some problems down the road because we are BOTH very stubborn people. So I would like some advice on visitation beforehand. When he does start asking for visitation what would be considered reasonable for a 2 year old child? He has currently been seeing her at my house (twice) because I felt it was best for her to get to know him a little. I would feel horrible just dropping her off with someone she doesn't know. Any advice would really be appreciated.