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I hate to say it, but I'm at a point right now where im the weakest, scrounging around for the last bit of strength with this crap. I just feel like she took my heart out and stepped on it. We've been having some problems, we still are its continuous fighting and disagreements with no signs of resolving them. I put it on my mom, I've tried my best to strengthen the communication department. But its like she put up some barrier around her. Basically, my wifes in the navy and I was staying home watching the baby(5 months,girl, I love her to death). Well we were having issues like always fights and arguments about cultural differences, personal beliefs, general stuff that would cause confllict.  Anyways, were stuck out here in washington because thats where she's stationed but My hometown is southern california. So we were having problems and she up and said she wanted a divorce, she doesn't want to try anymore, I asked her if shes sure she said yes, okay. So I'll be honest, I freaked out and left to california. I was down in california for 2 weeks, luckily I have my 2 wonderful sisters that I love more than anything woke me up and made me realize what I've done. 2 weeks later I am back in washington with the baby and wife(feels like I dont even know her, very fucking awkward), so I'm back at home mind racing a mile a minute trying to hold myself up through all of this. First night I come back she tells me that shes going out with her friends(all guys, one chick)supposebly they are just all friends I dont know but she didnt come back last night and didnt get home till 4pm the next afternoon, find out from her friend she was drunk and passed out. She has tons of different shirts and makeup that she never had before, shes basically acting like she is single. If it doesnt get any worse, her mother is yelling and screaming at me telling me I'm a bad father and chloe doesnt need to be with me and shes going to call the cops and have her taken away from me. So I snapped, she hit my bowling point she pushed around my heart, my baby, I told her to call the cops and do whatever the fuck she wants because I am alive right now for my fucking daughter. I realize I shouldnt have said that but all of her mothers accusations of me are false, she never got to know me her only information about me is from my wife and she only talks to her mother when were having problems. My wife is breaking my heart I wish I pray to god to show me what to do, to shine some light on this but theres no fucking light to be found. I have too many people against me and everybody(including her work, from her mother calling them sayin lies). And it's just me and my baby I just feel so alone in this all I want is for us to work but the rational man in me knows that is not possible, she doesnt want it, she doesnt want me.

Chloe baby, your the reason I'm hear baby, fighting for you. I love you baby and I'm always going to be your daddy no matter what happens. You mean the world to me, And I wont give up, I'm not letting you go. Always


-a lost soul