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You have to keep the faith & keep fighting & most of all, loving. My son is 10 & I lost custody of him when he was 9 months old. Like you, I don't even smoke, drink, do drugs, not on ANY meds (except for hay fever--LOL), have a Master's degree & a professional job in education, neve been arrested, etc. And I still lost. MY Ex- told me once that IF he could've gotten supervised or NO visitation for me -- he would have. He's a monster also. One thing that keeps me going is imagining a special place in H**L for those fathers like him.

Anyway..... I've been 'fighting the good fight' for almost 10 years now. My son loves me & wants to come live with me. He can't understand why 'Dad says it's not in my (son's) best interest to spend more time with you but won't give me a reason WHY'. WHY -- would be 'because I hate your mother with a vengence & will do ANYTHING to make her life a living H**l still and the ONLY way I can still get back at her is to deny her more time with you.' He can't really tell that to son, so he just doesn't answer......  

Son can sign an affidavit here (TX) when he's 12 stating what parent he wants to live with. I'm hoping and praying that he will do that when the time comes as he says he will.....

Actually no. My son is not 'given a lot of freedom' at his Dad's house & he can go down the block to visit friends (maybe 7 houses down) but it would never even cross his mind to walk/ride his bike to my house w/out permission. Permission which would never be given. So he doesn't even ask.

On the 3 times he has gone on a 'bike ride' around the neighborhood with one of his friends and the friend's dad's -- he HAS ended up here just to pop in & say 'hi'. I think that's actually pretty telling of the environment he has to deal with every day. That he feels 'free-er' to ask a FRIEND'S father to ride over here with him to say 'hi' to me than his own DAD.... And they do bike rides also. He just knows how his Dad feels about him seeing me.

I never try to influence him in any way. Actually it was the GAL that first brought up he could make his own choice to him when she talked to him for the mod back in '06. He just has asked me if 'its true', and talks about that's what he wants to do in 1.5 years. I really don't even respond to it.

Ex- is CP of 10-YO son. I moved to same neighborhood -- live 3 blocks away. Divorced since '98.

Filed for modification of original custody order 8/05. Settled in mediation 4/06. Mod. orders state (1) child's wishes to see other parent 'will be considered'. (2) parties are ordered to mediate in all future conflicts before court.

OK, since the mod. order was signed off on (6/1/06) these things have happened: (1) son has stated to me that he asks Ex- frequently to see me more & is denied. Son has stated to GAL that Ex- says 'it's not in his (son's) best interests, but won't give a reason why. Son WANTS to spend one wk with me & one with Ex-..... (2) Ex's spouse is bipolar, suffers from diabetes, hypothyroidism, and high blood pressure and takes 13 meds a day (all admitted to me in conversation). Spouse left Ex- over T'giving last year & moved out for 2 weeks. Son & I were both told this wasn't the first time she'd left but 'she'd always come back before' and 'she was having some trouble with depression'. She screams at son & 'cusses him out' -- neither of which he is used to and he's a sensitive child so this bothers him a lot. He has told GAL this also.
(3) most recently I picked up son for summer vacation & he had a healing scratch on his arm that SM had done to him on purpose to 'teach him a lesson'.

Now the ??. My lawyer states we still don't have enough to go back for another mediation/mod. That these things aren't serious enough 'material change in circumstances' to stand up in court. I do have a doctor's report on the scratch & he did take my son's statement of what happened. GAL & my lawyer suggest I just 'wait it out' until son is 12 & can sign the affidavit saying he wants to live with me. I think they're leary of Ex's high dollar bulldog lawyer. WWYD?