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Messages - stcd5773

#1
FYI, in addition to everything the BF filed being dismissed, voided, etc... the final ruling by the judge was in fact, that "Father has unclean hands." There is A LOT more to the story than I'm posting because it don't have anything to do with us finally working on a parenting plan together.  Trust me, I didn't go in debt over $12,000 in attorney fees just to dispute jurisdiction.  BF did motion after motion to try and keep us from returning home to CO (we were only in TN to dispute prior fraudulent allegations); all motions were total B.S. and way off in left field (yes, i even had all the paperwork to prove everything he stated was/is false).

anywho, i'm working on letting go of all that stuff and moving on with life....i'm workin on a detailed parenting plan (and trying to get BF to work on one),  i've already gone to a co-parenting class, have a book on it, and have read a lot about it online.....like i said, i'm workin on lettin go of past B.S. so my lil girl CAN go see BF w/o the two of us being so hostile towards one another.  i have far too much stress in life to let this all eat at me forever!
#2
Visitation Issues / RE: long-distance parenting
Jan 15, 2008, 10:34:42 AM
so, i just re-read my original post and realized i didn't even ask a dang question; sorry!

i'm just looking for input in regards to actual future visitation.  i have no problems with my child's BF being in her life....the more people to love her the happier she will be!!!

BF's response in regards to actual future visitation is that there is NO plan that is workable for a 2 y/o when parents live such a huge distance apart.  i agree that it stinks but i am attempting to figure something out so that this visitation can begin ASAP.

so, with that being said....i really need some input based on the facts in my original post in regards to actual future visitation (and my concerns on the fact that my lil girl hasn't been over-night with me, etc...)
#3
my husband of 5+ years is my child's legal father....the guy that i'm referring to in this post is my child's biological father....paternity was fraudulently established in TN and then voided due to lack of jurisdiction (alleged father stated that child lived with him in TN when the child has NEVER resided elsewhere outside of CO since birth).  alleged father has yet to file to establish rights/responsibilities in CO but supposedly will be doing so sooner than later.  after the 50+ attornies i've spoken with in regards to this specific matter, due to the orders being vacated/dismissed and voided, the alleged father is just that; alleged (until he files in CO and takes a court-ordered DNA test to establish paternity correctly).
#4
Visitation Issues / long-distance parenting
Jan 14, 2008, 01:34:11 PM
both mom and alleged father have always lived in seperate states
mom, husband (of 5 years) and child are in CO
alleged father is in TN
child is 2

alleged father spent app 4 hours per day with child for 3 months while mother was visiting family in TN for holidays (mother was with alleged father and child).  alleged father also spent other minimal time with child in the past year due to mother fighting alleged father's false jurisdiction allegations in TN (CO won jurisdiction cuz child has NEVER resided elsewhere, alleged father falsely stated child lived with him in TN).

now, we're slowly moving on with life and talking about a parenting plan.  i've gotten all the nitty-gritty details down pat already but am, of course, having issues with the actual visitation part.  alleged father won't talk about the "little details" as he calls them, until we talk about visitation details.  so in efforts to get this talk going, i pulled a suggestion out of my butt.....
7 days/6 nights spring
8 days/7 nights summer
6 days/5 nights winter
this is only until the child starts school, then visitation increases.

child and mother still co-sleep.  child has been away from mother for a total of 8 hours at once, max (part of this was sleep time).  actual distance between mother and alleged father is 1313 miles.  i don't feel comfortable with my child being gone for 7 days at once when she's never been away from me for longer than 8 hours.  i'm also concerned that there will be too long of a gap between alleged father seeing the child for this schedule to just be agreed upon and ordered.

i also don't feel this plan for visitation is workable cuz the alleged father works 5 days one week, 5 1/2 days the next week.  child is not bonded with anyone in alleged father's family.....in other words, either mother or (alleged) father will be the only persons exchanging the child.

please just ask if you need any other details.