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Moving to the 19th cir.court area.

Any feedback on Judges or Attorneys in that area?

Question about attorney counsultations.

I have called several attorneys and they all want a fee for initial consultation. (200-300 $) I'm willing but it is tough to select one when the interview has a cost with it.

One attorney offered free consultation. Should I be concerned about the exception to the rule being at the "bottom of the food chain" so to speak?

Anyone know good attorney in 19th judicial circuit FL?

Hello again Gemini3  :-)

Attorneys from either location all seem to want it to occur in their county (go figure) then they get retainer; though none of them have stated any significant legal advantage one way or the other when I ask.

No way she'll move with me, says she needs her space. Not sure if I could live "temporarily" at her mothers...Interesting idea though.
Thanks.

Thanks Ocean and KnightTryDa01

I feel very lost and your comments (and all others who have reponded previously) have helped a great deal.

Does anyone have any final input on main (first) issue I must face:

Should I allow relocation (150 miles within same state) to occur prior to filing, even though it means wife and son move into seperate residence from me?

This move (for my job) is vital for my work, enhances my ability to have flexible work schedule and visitation, and was agreed to upon birth of son to enable mom to stay at home but postponed by wife until announcement she and son would move in her mother. If I file where we currently all live together, this move will probably not occur.

Rule #1 under Articles: Emergency First Aid is do not move out of home.
Is this the same as doing that?

Followup Questions:

How is custody/visitation determined once divorce filing occurs? How quickly?

Is setting up a seperation agreement (in FL) worthwhile? (especially if spouse is set on limiting visitation this will be a heated issue but I don't want to set a precedant by agreeing to less than my ultimate goal. Does it factor into ultimate decision by court if it goes that far? (which I think it will).

I have reviewed best interst child statutes as you suggested and have articulated what I believe are my advantages to the attorney I had initial consultation with... am waiting to hear answers.

Does anyone have any experience with mediators and how that process occurs?

Has anyone had a case where they requested evaluators and or pschological testing? Did it work or was the spouse/ex able to "snow" them?

I am inclinded to take the approach that has also been mentioned in much of the feedback of:

"Fight hard up front but don't hold out much hope for primary custody, be prepared for limited visitation, and don't spend all of my life savings in the beginning but be ever persistant and do the best I can to stay involved in the future and hope for the best (even though reversals of primary custody or increased visitation time seem as unlikely as a positive judgement up front).

Is that really it?

Thanks to all who have replied to me on this thread. I am sorry if I "hi-jacked" it, I was new to the site and was amazed at how many other people are in similar (and unfortunately even worse situations than I am.)

I do have a thread I started in this same category "Fathers Issues" entitled: "How to overcome StayAtHome Mom issue for child custody".

Please come visit me over there :-) and thank you again for all the input and support.

--DevotedStepMom: I will continue reply to your last post in thread mentioned above.

Thank you both for your replies.

I am concerned about the statement regarding the "min" for visitation being every other weekend. I was of the impression that even if other parent did not agree to 50/50 that a 40% share (in FL) was quite common and a right of the NCP.

I am of course concerned about bouncing a toddler back and forth between parents but isn't that offset by the benefit of not loosing someone he has a strong bond with (me) at this phase of his development.

I had read alot about <3 yr olds being better with more transitions to keep the primary parent from being away for more than 2 days at a time while still keeping NCP a regular, frequent relation.

Looking online at sample parent plans this could be such as...

Every other weekend, with 1 weekday overnight during the week with weekend visit, and 2 weekday overnights on the week with no weekend visit) That's 5 nights out of 14 (only 35%).

Is this not realistic based on your experiences?

I'm not sure what is to stop her from moving back? If I file after the move, even though we would be in seperate households, can I get an injunction against moving back?

Reason for (her) moving is that she intends to split up upon moving. She feels that she has no control as a stay at home mother. Her mother (last week) purchased a home in the area in which we agreed to relocate, and is moving down from out of state to take care of her daughter and enable her (once again) to avoid all responsibility.

I intend to file for custody and would commit all I have to winning, but feel the deck is stacked against me since she was a stay at home mom the first year (14 months) even though it depleted almost all the money I brought into the relationship.

She does not intend to look for work after relocating for at least one month, (which probably means 4-6 months) and if I tell the court that I have ability to be available 1.5 - 2 days a week as stay at home dad (I would work 3-12hr days or 3-10's and a 4hr workweek) I am sure her mom will bankroll her to stay at home too, indefinitely.

I am not sure if it is best to pour all my resources in up front OR get strong visitation and an iron clad parent plan and document all violations of it and any Parental Alienation issues that occur... ?

TIA (again) for all your help. As I am sure most on this site have experienced, emotional rollercoasters are not fun. It is helpful to be able to discuss it with someone.

Thanks gemini3

Not diagnosed with BPD and I am not the one to make any diagnosis; thanks for reminding me.

Filing first in my opinion (99% sure) will resulte in retaliatory action (i.e. not moving and forcing me into a lesser capability to have visitation/earn and provide.

I understand the advantages of filing first but if I can guarantee the move occurs simulataneously into the seperate homes, and I can still file first in new venue is there any other advantage I am giving up by not filing in current venue?

TIA,
Confused Dad