Messages

my advice is to get keep track of your visits/efforts to communicate with your daughter.  make a parenting plan, look about getting a guardian ad litem appointed to your daughter... someone that can testify that it is in her best interest to have a joint custody situation. realize there is a difference between joint legal and joint physical. unless you are going to be living close by your daughter, joint physical might be really tough.  it would be in your best interest to demonstrate that you are willing to work WITH your ex in doing what is best for your daughter. if you both fight about everything, you might be in trouble. no matter what, be the bigger person.  always stress that your daughter is the most important thing. be willing to be flexible without sacrificing your rights and what is best for your daughter.  research the law!  there are lots of websites that can give you good advice.  you can meet with a lawyer (usually free for the initial consultation) and ask them what you should do. good luck. dads matter. don't ever forget that.

For Christmas my daughter got a cell phone with texting and has been in constant contact with me!!!  i talk to her almost every day. it is so great. however, she has asked for me NOT to call the house because her mom can't know that she is talking to me. at this point i am just so glad to have communication with her that i am going to do what she asks.  i notified GA that she was not living there anymore and they have sent my ex a notice that they are closing her child support case within 60 days. she will have to take me back to court in NC if she wants child support.... I am ready!!!  i completely acknowledge my responsibility to pay child support but at least now i have some leverage.  if she takes me back to court in NC, she will have to tell the judge WHY she has refused ANY visitation!!!  i think this is the break i have been waiting for. 

MB and Davy both seem to have valid reason for their opinions.  I am going through the same kind of thing... court order in GA (where she lived, and we divorced) I live in SC (where we lived 10 years prior to our move to GA)  she recently relocated to NC (without telling me where she and the kids were)... ANYWAY, i was under the impression that because NC,SC,Ga were all "sister states" the order was good where she is.  My suggestion to you is to find out what is relevent to YOUR state.  It stinks that states don't all have to follow the same rules and ex's can run, hide, deny visitation, and "we" have to fight just to be parents.  Whatever you do, DON"T give up.  Keep letting your kids know that you are trying.  If you send things (gifs/cards/letters), send them certified, with restricted delivery to ensure that THEY have to sign for it.  Your ex cannot sign for items that are not specifically addressed to her if you "restrict" delivery.
Good Luck.

Relocating is a great idea in theory, but in reality, it isn't going to make a bitter person change their mind!  Obviously this woman can't stand you and loves hurting you more than she cares about what is really best for your son.  First, I would suggest that you play her "law" game with her.  You find out the law that governs your situation.  Since you were divorced in one state (NY?) contact legal aid or the NY Bar Association.  Give them the basic information... where you were married, divorced, currently living and ask them which state would have jurisdiction.  THEN, research their laws on Domestic Relations.  Find out what applies to your situation and use that.  I know getting a lawyer can be expensive, and IF you can, hire one.  If not, consult legal aid in your state.  They may be able to help you or they may be able to refer you to a pro bono project in your ex's state.  On many websites you can find legal forms.  Use them.  Also, from experience, file contempt charges for her denial of visitaion BEFORE you try to modify the existing order.  I am not a lawyer, but I am learing a lot from dealing with crappy courts, lawyers, and horrible ex's.  I would love to help you more if you need.

First, remember that you are a human being with feelings and the right to NOT endure crap from petty, mentally unstable ex's.  You HAVE to make sure that you are taking care of yourself so that you can be "good" for your kids.  You are at an awful point in their lives.  If they treat you poorly, then more than likely they are being rewarded by their mom.  Sorry, but competing with that is pretty tough.  I would suggest that you make coming to your house equally rewarding.  I  AM NOT NOT NOT saying "buy" your kids, but plan things around what they like to do.  Casually "be" at places that they might be (without their mom).  Make your presence unavoidable but not awkward.  Let them know that you are the "calm in the storm".  They WILL see this, it just might take time.  Eventhough you have been doing this for a while, unfortunately you will probably be doing this until your ex is long gone.  They will come to you and have questions.  Just be a good source of positive information and wait.
good luck.
the best thing you can do is PRAY for them every night.

well, friends, it happened.  EVERYTHING that I feared came true!  She moved July 1, 2008 and took my kids.  She refused to tell me where they were.  Eventually, i found out they were outside Asheville, NC.  I tried to get them back for my 2nd two week visitation but she said "no" they wouldn't see me again.  I have had NO communication with my kids.  My now 15 year old daughter emails my wife on a regular basis, but won't discuss "emotional" things.  She responds sparingly to my messages to her on MYSPACE but nothing on the phone.  She asked me not to call the house phone because it makes her mom mad if I try to call.  I have had NO communication with my son.  I know they love me and miss me.  I took my case to the sheriff's department where the final order was issued and the distric attorney said there was nothing they could do because i did not have custody.  what the heck???  i have specific outlined visitation rights, a provision of our original divorce decree stated that she HAD to notify me (and the courts) within 30 days of moving.... I have a guardian ad litem report/testimony that says the kids WANT to see me....
I have EVERYTHING  BUT..... the money to keep fighting.
I am so hurt, sad, confused and disillusioned with what I thought my life would be like!!!  When my kids were little, I thought I would be the one taking them on vacation, playing football with them, listening to rants about "broken hearts" and all that kind of stuff.  Instead, I have to avoid calling them just so that they can have peace at home.  
Any advice?  

Just as I thought, she moved!
I picked up my kids on friday for a two week visit and i when i mentioned the court order she laughed and told me that the order didn't mean anything to her because she didn't reside in georgia anymore.  i have found out from my kids that they are living in NC.  i contacted my attorney and he says that we can't do anything until she breaks the order.  filing contempt won't do any good until we know exactly where to serve her?  i am so confused.  
btw, my ex called the kids tuesday and told them that she didn't want them anymore and she wasn't coming back for them, ever.  she told the same thing to me, that I won and i could have the kids.  my kids are hurting and i want it to stop.....
i have another 2 week visitation period for july but i am scared that if she gets them back on june 28 that i will NEVER see them again.

I have been fighting soooo hard for the past year to have visitation with my kids.  FINALLY, the judge gave me a long summer visitation (to begin on Father's Day!!!) Anyway, after some snooping around, I found out that my ex might be planning on moving from South Georgia to North Carolina before my chance to spend the summer with my kids.  My 14 yr.old daughter was evasive when I asked her about it.  She said they don't know for sure if they are going to move.  I asked my lawyer, but he says we can't do anything until we know for sure.  My ex has kept my kids from me for over 3 years and my victory in court has made things worse! I am scared that she is going to run and I will have no way to find them. HELP!