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Hi! This is a long story, but I'll make it as short and painless as possible. My wife (at the time) moved out of our home and in with her boyfriend 2 years ago. She didn't want a divorce because she wanted to stay on my insurance. After almost a year, she decided she wanted a divorce so she could remarry. Prior to the divorce I had been paying her $600/month for child support WITHOUT and order of any kind. This is what she and I agreed upon when she moved out. Just before the divorce she went to child support in MT and had them calculate the support. As usual, she told them horrible lies and these people treated me like scum. They did not show me the calculations they used and I did not ask because I expected a govt agency to be FAIR, LEGAL and impartial, so I signed without realizing how bad they had put the screws to me. I found out much later that they calculated the support on BOTH my retirement from the USAF and my 40 hr/wk job, but only calculated 32 hrs/wk because my ex told them her "foot hurt". There was no medical documentation to support that whatsoever. I, however, have a DOCUMENTED 40% disability from the Air Force and they told me they would not accept that unless I was TOTALLY unable to work and on SSI. They refused to recalculate and impute wages on her, saying that I "should have hired a lawyer". I payed for our divorce which we got online because I couldn't afford a lawyer. That was a nightmare of "surprises, too, but a different story entirely.
  Anyway, I tried to get it changed in court like CSED told me I had to, but then they went to the judge and told her they still had jurisdiction and had it thrown out without being heard. I then went to the governor's office, who didn't want to be bothered with it and turned it back over to CSED. After that, they started harrassing me even worse, even going so far as to contact my insurance and get an ORDER for it even though my children have never been without insurance a day in their lives.
  In the meantime, my ex and her husband go out to the bars every Fri and Sat night, leaving my kids home alone. They have bought TWO $600 dogs, a HUGE flat screen t.v., jewelry for my exwife,etc... They have taken trips to her husband's family reunions and yet she tells the children that she "can't afford" clothes, birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, school supplies, etc. When I got angry with her she went running to CSED and they had the gall to send me a letter saying I have no right to tell her how to spend the money.
  Don't tell me to go for custody. The kids are her meal ticket. She refuses to work FT and when the kids mention leaving, she threatens suicide so they are AFRAID to leave. Please tell me where to go for help. She desperately needs a mental evaluation and my kids need out without having to worry that they will be responsible for her suicide (which she would not do; it's just a form of manipulation. She told them she couldn't make it without the CS and she would kill herself if she lost it.)
  Also, (I'm sorry this is so long) I truly believe she is a sociopath. She fits the description to a "T". She repeatedly says horrible, hurtful things to the kids, hits them and uses them and their stepdad for housework. She told my wife last time we went for custody that she "Had no feelings for my daughter anymore; I'm done with her". It was after I filed for custody that she threatened suicide. PLEASE, PLEASE help. I paid $3,000 to an attorney before and I can't afford it again, plus my kids are 13 and 16 now. They wouldn't tell the truth for fear of getting their mom into trouble. I kept my mouth shut for 2 years in spite of her trying to turn my kids against me. I don't know how much longer I can do it.

I, too, was the kid. My father moved 1500 miles away and could only be bothered to visit about once every 5 years because he made a new life AND a new family in Wyoming. He wrote occasionally to send us pictures of his cherished new family, which made us feel even less important. My mom wasn't the only one who had children by him, then had them abandoned. He fathered 5 children in all and only ended up raising one biological and one stepchild. I don't think it is coincidental that all 4 of his daughters have had numerous failed marriages with men who were emotionally unavailable at the least and oftentimes abusive as well.
I called him when I was about 9 years old to ask if I could come to WY to live because I was being emotionally, physically and sexually abused. He couldn't be bothered because he had his hands full with his "other family". To this day he still refuses to accept responsibility for the anguish he caused all his abandoned children. I no longer have any desire for any interaction with him. I haven't spoken to him in 4 years. On the other hand, his "other family" has now abandoned him and he has worked feverishly to build a relationship with his previously forgotten kids. After all, he is getting old and will need someone to care for him like he DIDN'T care for them.
  My husband's children are now being abused by their mother. I am "only the SM" and have no legal means to protect him and "nice guy dad" WON'T stand up to the woman who emotionally abused him for 16 years. I am heartbroken and sick over it because I know those children will never forgive him OR me for allowing these things to happen. All I could do was call child welfare and even then their BM is such a sociopath she convinced the worker that the kids were lying and told the kids that if they left she would commit suicide. I believe that the choice shouldn't be left with the kids, but with their father. That way there is no guilt on their part; they can blame it on us.
  PLEASE, PLEASE reconsider walking away. The child may be devious, but look who she's learning from. My stepson is just like his mother, but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a fighting chance. Get a court order for counseling for all three of them and insist that the child be seen alone so she won't be afraid to tell the truth. That is where I am trying to get my husband to go now. He finally convinced the therapist to see his son alone and his mother IMMEDIATELY stopped taking him. That's a s good as an admission of guilt right there.