>Is the mediator through the court? I can't promise for ND but
>I know here the mediator submits the parenting plan and
>findings to the court. The mediators are not interested in
>making anyone parent happy but doing what is best for the
>child. I find this to be the case here in CA and if the
>parents are willing to work together, it is so much better.
Mediator is designated in the divorce judgment and is required before proceeding into court. This was all setup by her lawyer, a kid right out of school in Fargo. My hope is that the mediator will be familiar with and possibly provide the standard form required in ND. She has already eluded to the fact that I may have to hire some sort of legal counsel to enter the completed plan into the judgment. I understand the mediators role and while I'm disappointed they have no legal authority I hope we can get a simple plan in place.
>The details are for you to work out, but if you stick to the
>bones of the court's standard plan, you will be the reasonable
>one and any less time she would ask for will make her
>unreasonable.
>
>There is one exception. You haven't seen your kid regularly
>for a while, so there may be a getting to know you period that
>would be reasonably asked for. Plan for it. Maybe you can plan
>the first visitations to be in her area for a few times. It is
>expensive because of hotels and eating out etc.
>
>I would also put in the plan telephone and email
>communications. I would ask for phone visitation every Sunday
>(if you can commit to it) and the right to speak with your kid
>any time you call or whenever your kid wants to call you.
>
>I guess that is it for now. Good Luck!
>
>Ref
Great stuff Rev... thanks a ton. Not having access to a real parental plan I'm kinda shooting in the dark but this gives me some good reference points to walk through in mediation. I sent a list to the mediator to hopefully save some time during the phone session.
Visitation cost are defined in the judgment as well... 50/50 and age of traveling alone is specified in the judgment as whatever CP is comfortable with. So far I've driven over there 4 times (1 during separation and 3 after divorce), a few days each time at my own expense (with help from friends). It costs me almost an even $1k to do it and I'm on disability so my funds are pretty limited.
I will be trying to reestablish a regular call time. I have tried this in the past but the X refuses to commit. I think it would be great for him to have any sort of regular, reliable contact. At this point 1/2 the time he doesn't want to talk with me and the other half he wants to talk every day. Of course I accommodate him as best I can but the sporadic behavior just doesn't seem like a healthy thing at all and many of the ways he's hot and cold with me, along with a few of the things he says now and then really lean into Parental Alienation, I'm just not sure if it's the wife or her mom or even how innocent or malicious it may be.
I'm also trying to get progress report copies from school and from a psychologist he was reportedly seeing off and on again for some time. Again specified in the divorce but never provided. I ask and I get the "Oh yea... I'll send you some copies..." that never arrive.
Anyway... that's great stuff to consider and I do appreciate it. This isn't about me and I know that. This is about my son and what he needs in his life not only to be a happy and well adjusted little boy now but to become a morally good and mentally strong man someday.
>I know here the mediator submits the parenting plan and
>findings to the court. The mediators are not interested in
>making anyone parent happy but doing what is best for the
>child. I find this to be the case here in CA and if the
>parents are willing to work together, it is so much better.
Mediator is designated in the divorce judgment and is required before proceeding into court. This was all setup by her lawyer, a kid right out of school in Fargo. My hope is that the mediator will be familiar with and possibly provide the standard form required in ND. She has already eluded to the fact that I may have to hire some sort of legal counsel to enter the completed plan into the judgment. I understand the mediators role and while I'm disappointed they have no legal authority I hope we can get a simple plan in place.
>The details are for you to work out, but if you stick to the
>bones of the court's standard plan, you will be the reasonable
>one and any less time she would ask for will make her
>unreasonable.
>
>There is one exception. You haven't seen your kid regularly
>for a while, so there may be a getting to know you period that
>would be reasonably asked for. Plan for it. Maybe you can plan
>the first visitations to be in her area for a few times. It is
>expensive because of hotels and eating out etc.
>
>I would also put in the plan telephone and email
>communications. I would ask for phone visitation every Sunday
>(if you can commit to it) and the right to speak with your kid
>any time you call or whenever your kid wants to call you.
>
>I guess that is it for now. Good Luck!
>
>Ref
Great stuff Rev... thanks a ton. Not having access to a real parental plan I'm kinda shooting in the dark but this gives me some good reference points to walk through in mediation. I sent a list to the mediator to hopefully save some time during the phone session.
Visitation cost are defined in the judgment as well... 50/50 and age of traveling alone is specified in the judgment as whatever CP is comfortable with. So far I've driven over there 4 times (1 during separation and 3 after divorce), a few days each time at my own expense (with help from friends). It costs me almost an even $1k to do it and I'm on disability so my funds are pretty limited.
I will be trying to reestablish a regular call time. I have tried this in the past but the X refuses to commit. I think it would be great for him to have any sort of regular, reliable contact. At this point 1/2 the time he doesn't want to talk with me and the other half he wants to talk every day. Of course I accommodate him as best I can but the sporadic behavior just doesn't seem like a healthy thing at all and many of the ways he's hot and cold with me, along with a few of the things he says now and then really lean into Parental Alienation, I'm just not sure if it's the wife or her mom or even how innocent or malicious it may be.
I'm also trying to get progress report copies from school and from a psychologist he was reportedly seeing off and on again for some time. Again specified in the divorce but never provided. I ask and I get the "Oh yea... I'll send you some copies..." that never arrive.
Anyway... that's great stuff to consider and I do appreciate it. This isn't about me and I know that. This is about my son and what he needs in his life not only to be a happy and well adjusted little boy now but to become a morally good and mentally strong man someday.