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Solid advice.  And wise.

Thanks.

We both agreed to not consider CS but to rather simply split a few expenses; she agreed perhaps because I had just filed an OSC and she was afraid of the possible results for her if we went to court.

Here I'm a little ignorant about CS -- if she and I split time with our daughter virtually 50/50 and have joint legal, and since we both have the same income while I have significant debt (legal fees) and she has no debt and significant extra financial assets ---- why would CS automatically go to her?  Seems kind of arbitrary and nonsensical.

Of course, I'm kind of used to that by now.

Interesting idea.  In a way it puts the onus on her to take action, and she knows she would have to answer to a judge as to the original lie about the $40/mth.  And explain why she was so intransigent in the first place about just correcting the error when it was first pointed out (when she only had to repay me $20, not $240.)  Interesting idea, thank you.

Hey Davy, I like your style!!  Thanks for the kind words and humor, it's badly needed over here.  I'm pondering what I'll do next, and I appreciate your response.

Thanks very much for all the perspectives offered to my post.

Hard for me to understand why someone would hold on to someone else's money; and what you mentioned is exactly what she said to me, 'You signed the agreement, it is what it is."  But what about ... basic decency?

Yeah, I'm an idiot.  It's not alot of money, but it bugs me.

Have to look into the chances of her trying to bring in a CS calculation.  I worked really hard to create an agreement that had us splitting a small number of expenses rather than me paying CS, because it's bogus.  We share our daughter's time equally, we're BOTH CP, and BM comes from tons of money while I'll be paying off lawyers for 20 years. Most imp., I'm not a funding organization, I'm a Dad.  

Great idea, to insist on paper receipts for every expense I contribute to.  This year's agreement was nearly inked when she decided to throw in a bunch of junk at the last minute, so I can think about insisting on that, as well as reducing this year's cell phone share to compensate for last year's overcharge.  

No chance in Small Claims court, though, huh?  Even if I can show that I disputed the amount only weeks after signing and even if I can show it was fraudulent?  

Thanks again for the excellent advice.


so you're out $240.
>
>You say you're in CA.
>
>What does the CS calculator show for CA??  not asking you to
>share the actual amount, but go take a look at it.
>
>I personally think this falls under pick and choose...
>
>One that I would not pick if I was totally totally underpaying
>CS.
>
>See -- she could/would litigate that end of it and probably
>IMHO get the court's support for "calculator - level CS"
>
>Sounds like it's corrected for the next year.
>
>Also sounds like whenever you reimburse her for anything, she
>should provide paper proof of the amount she is claiming to be
>paying.
>
>Ask for that for everything over the next year.....and then
>pay.
>
>Then have that stipulation mediated into the next year's
>agreement.
>
>Bad on CP for doing this to you over the last year, THAT's for
>sure.
>
>As for sharing the bills -- she's probably afraid it reveals
>too much of her (due) privacy.  Camilla once shared a bill
>with me and even blacked out stuff I wasn't supposed to read
>or see -- didn't work, I could read it anyways and learned
>stuff she surely didn't want me to know.  Oh well life goes
>on.

I really appreciate the response.  

I should have been clearer about my case: I am not paying state guideline formula for child support.  We're about 50/50 custody.  

We split 50/50 three monthly expenses (health insurance, cell phone for nanny and child care from nanny.)  I write a check to her for my half of the three and she pays the bills.

I did not ask to verify the amount for the nanny's cell phone bill when we drafted and signed the parenting plan.  The BM, either fraudulently or by mistake, set the amount at $40/mth instead of $20/mth, which she finally admitted is what it should have been.  Despite the fact that I guessed the error a month after we signed the PP and asked to see phone bills to verify, she just refused, and now that we've held our mandatory 1 year mediation to determine any changes in expenses, she is refusing to refund the $240 overcharge.  

Is this a candidate for small claims court?  I won't hire a lawyer to recover such a small sum ni Family Court -- any other options?  Thanks for the input.

I've always understood that to be a big no-no.  Since the shared expenses stipulation is a Court Order, and that Court Order hasn't been modified by the court, I can't adjust downward what I pay on my own "authority."  

 I have joint legal and joint physical custody of my 3 yr old daughter.  The Parenting Plan we drew up a year ago stipulates that the BM and I split evenly a few expenses, including the cost of the nanny's cell phone bill/mth, which is paid as part of BM's Family PLan.  

BM has acknowledged for 12 mths that she made an error in calculating the amount ($240) but she refuses to refund the money.  Can I take her to Small Claims Court to have the money returned to me?

Los Angeles, CA.

Probably right.  It's a hard mind set to become accustomed to.  Thank you for for your reply.

My Parenting Plan's (court order) dispute resolution clause requires a first stage of one mediation session, initiated by the party with the complaint/concern, with a mediator we've mutually agreed to.  Should there be no consensus/agreement on the presenting issue by the conclusion of the session, either party may request binding arbitration with our selected arbitrator.  

When I was negotiating the terms of the Parenting Plan with my 4 year old son's mother (joint legal and physical), binding arbitration made alot of sense.  

At the time, I had spent an agonizing two years trying to get the simplest things done with her or receive the most basic information about my son -- she was completely uncooperative and uncommunicative, rigid as steel on every single issue -- the only time she was moved to cooperate and communicate with me on anything was after I filed an OSC for joint custody (never married.)  

I figured that binding arbitration would give me an important tool for getting things done for my son (choice of school, health care, etc..) when we either needed to make a decision together or I needed help because she was just blowing off entire sections of our court order (a very common occurence.)  

But now I'm a bit concerned.  My son's mother, who previously was loathe to spend a penny on lawyers, has been given the key to her father's considerable financial resources, and she has been spending it all on lawyers, bombarding me with letters which insist on changing central aspects of a Parenting Plan we both agreed to.  Meanwhile, I'm broken financially from the year of trying to get her to the table and fending off her legal attacks.  

She now floods me with demands (through her lawyer) to change this aspect of our custodial arrangement or that in order to whittle away at my time with my son and my voice in the major and minor decisions of his life.  She requests mediation, where she takes meticulous notes on all of my objections to the changes she's demanding, then turns them over to her lawyer who uses them in arbitration.

A judge picked her choice for arbitrator over my choice, and he is deciding every decision in her favor (in some cases legitimately so, but in other cases there's no basis at all for granting her demands and he grants them anyway.  My lawyer is horrified at the blatant bias.)  

There seems to be no end to what she can impose on me through this binding arbitration, and my lawyer tells me i have no path of appeal.  

Am I stuck with this dispute resolution process for the next 14 years? Is there any way at all that I can either 1) petition the court for a change of arbitrator or 2) have binding arbitration replaced by a Special Master, whose judgement is appealable?  

Any thoughts you might have would be quite appreciated, and thank you for this incredibly important forum.